Right hand path made my life miserable.

[kralaro]

Right hand path made my life miserable. While left hand path gave me beautiful results.

When i started seriously chanting the Hare Krishna mantra, it was as if people of this world turned against me and i had to go through the worst phase of my life i remember, years of my life wasted. Also the main turning point towards my life turning bad happened at the moment i was chanting the mantra. Praying to God has either not worked for me or has given me opposite result(s), like if i pray to God that something doesn't happen then exactly that thing will happen.

Doing left hand practices has given me +ve and quick results. Not sharing the practices right now as there's a quote attributed to Neem Karoli Baba: "You should not talk about your wealth, wife, or sadhana or they will go away.". So i don't want to jinx what's working for me. "Sadhana" means spiritual practice. By left hand practices i mean taking control of one's spirituality in one's own hand instead of depending on God, even doing things which people consider taboo but i didn't do anything morally wrong.

But i would like if chanting God's names and praying also worked for me, instead of harming me. Connecting with God, being absorbed in God may help me, but I'm afraid of connecting with God again.