I never had any other kind of relationships nor I ever wanted it.
I met him when I was 24 and now Im 42 and he was the one and only man I ever wanted and was with (I wont go into more details)
There mere thought of being with another human, not just being intimate but spending time face-to-face, feeling others person breath in my proximity is sickening to my stomach.
I belong next to him and he belongs next to me. If this is not meant to last, or be no more, Im ok with that I was alone my whole life I will be yet another 20 years or how long it takes before I die.
You wont ever understand the depth of isolation and loneliness people who experienced this feel, feeling alone when you are with others, feeling like they cram and suffocating you and taking his place.
As for seven billion people - this is laughable, even as a metaphor is laughable too - but Ill dignify it with the answer - being born in a small town of a small country, surrounded by rednecks-type of people on daily basis, being unable to travel (even if you want to, I dont like to travel) not just because lacks of funds but also because you need a some kind of a permission to enter countries and, as you would say meet some of those 7 billion of smart monkeys ...
And most of all, from the day you meet a person we call TF or SC or whatever you wanna call it, there is just one knowledge and that is - you know you have to be with them, you are meant to be with them, you know that your life will be turned upsidedown and that they will have the main role in your life. You know that, from the first couple of minutes of your meeting, and you also know that this is not rational, it is not normal and it is not something you can explain.
Yes, people do get over anything. People get over death of their children, and loved one and move on with their lives.
People get over wars, being in concentration camps, being tortured and being subjected to all kinds of injustice, illness, and all sorts of monstrosity, and move on with their lives.
I cannot get over a this man. I know that. Getting over in a way -not thinking of him, forget him and "move over" with my life, whatever that is, I cannot do that. I know I cant. And that is the fact. That is my truth I have to deal with. The truth that others can get over anything and move on, and I cannot get over him.
And after finding out about TF community, I was relieved to know that others feel the same. Now I know I'm not the only one that cannot get over that one person.
As for the other things people mentioned, growth, expanding energy whatever that is or whatever else - I love you guys, but that is just a human construct. And who are you to tell others what growth, expanding energy or anything else is, or that this is something we all should do in a way you approve it.
People come in here to find relieved for the pain, to read other people's experiences, I remember that most helpful posts were from people in here who had this understanding, compassion and genuinely love (well, maybe they genuinely grew as well) about love and understanding not about "you should do this, this is the only way" -type of posts.
And surprisingly those posts were from people who hadn't personal TF, painful SC experience, they were just compassionate and kind souls with understanding that surpass "shoulda" talk.
Actually the only reason Im on this thread is to ask about this
Hello, if you dont mind me asking and I'm asking this publicly if you dont mind - I was wondering would you be willing to share the truth that is been raveling to you and if you dont mind me asking what is your mission.
If you are reluctant to write about it I would understand, and I also have a additional question - it is about anger towards your TF, have you felt it if, and when you feelt she was disconnected and how you dealt with anger towards her that she is not physically present in your daily life?
If you read my posts, I have my share of anger towards him since he is not in my daily life.
So it would be beneficial to read more on it from somebody else with, maybe, similar experiences as mine.
As for me, I wouldn't call our connection telepathic all the time. First couple of years I knew every words he is going to say, I knew our conversations in advance in a sort of telepathic-daydreaming-reliving in advance- every conversation we had later on.
(also at this point, our conversation was mostly done over the phone so it was kinda easy and felt really natural for me, this thing I had, to know in advance our conversation... it is really hard to explain it now, since it sounds crazy... and I never told anybody about it, not even him, except occasional finishing his sentence and jokingly saying "i knew you gonna say that about something" )
But once we got more close, start seeing each other, I was more worried about how things are going to work out next time we see each other and this kind of daydreaming stopped, I wouldn't let it flow... instead of just letting my self letting my thoughts flow I would start thinking but what if this happen or that, what if this... and kinda suffocated this part of our connection...
I know our stories are not so similar but so far you at least understand this part of not being able to "let it go" or to "forget about them"
To understand him, and to understand my anger now, I need to actually understand how much of it he was going thru and how he processed that.
While we were together , obviously I never knew about TF, and not just that, I wasn't that into talking to him about anything not just spiritual but also philosophical or anything like that.
I didn't want to freak him out, since he used to say that he feels like I put some kind of spells on him, that Im some kind of a witch, that he feels like he cant hide anything from me (I would always brush that off as a joke, never would ask him to elaborate on that, since I didn't want him to go deeper in his fears of concerns)
Linear Mode
