Spiritual growth, depression and anxiety.

[hopeful harry]

Hi, I haven't been here for five years. I think I've become a little lost.

I don't even know where to begin.

Basically, I had a huge breakdown in November (the build up to it started in September) and have been put back on anti-depressants. I've also started on an anti-psychotic because my thoughts were all over the place and I felt like I was going mad (I still do). I take sleeping tablets as well. I haven't slept without something to help me since September.

When I was at my worst, I felt suicidal (I still do from time to time) and I frequently asked God to take my life. One day, I lie on my bed, crippled with anxiety and racing thoughts and I gave my soul permission to leave my body. I didn't want it to hurt anymore and I wanted it to be free. I swear I felt it rise up and leave me.

Ever since then, I feel like I've lost all connection with God/Universe and I feel like I am an empty shell of a man, living without a soul.

If it has left me what do I do now? Can I get it back? Has God forsaken me?

I'm not sure what I'm hoping to achieve by posting here. I just need some help.

P.S. I am not suicidal at the moment. I want to figure out how I'm going to live now.

Thank you for reading. HH. x

Originally Posted by hopeful harry

Ever since then, I feel like I've lost all connection with God/Universe and I feel like I am an empty shell of a man, living without a soul.

The Universe places us where we need to be, so how is where you are now working to your advantage? What advantage is there in being 'reborn?'

If you get it back you'll go through the same process that lead to you being on anti-depressants, and somehow I don't think you want that.

Being empty means you can fill yourself with something far more constructive, and figuring out how you're going to live now means you have the opportunity to create yourself anew and with far more constructive intentions. Use your past as drive.

[hopeful harry]

Originally Posted by Greenslade

The Universe places us where we need to be, so how is where you are now working to your advantage? What advantage is there in being 'reborn?'

If you get it back you'll go through the same process that lead to you being on anti-depressants, and somehow I don't think you want that.

Being empty means you can fill yourself with something far more constructive, and figuring out how you're going to live now means you have the opportunity to create yourself anew and with far more constructive intentions. Use your past as drive.

Hi @Greenslade and thank you for the reply.
How can I move forward if I don't have a soul though? I feel like it's left me.

[Miss Hepburn]

What I do is deliberately reach out to inspiring things from so many different sources -
books, quotes, youtube lectures or wonderful stories of NDEs, things like that.
I have beautiful verses from the Bible I picked out and believe on my wall.
Boy, I can read one or 2 and sit back and smile.
When we are feeling down -inspirational words are SO helpful.

My sister has a problem not being able to fall asleep and tells me how she is 'tortured' by her thoughts.
(Only since her soulmate husband suddenly died.)
But she never reaches for an inspiring book!
If you need suggestions what to watch or listen to I think you would get many ideas from people here.
You could start here even and read the many inspiring quotes threads we have...after awhile these truths sink in.
They do!
Hope this helps a bit.

[hopeful harry]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

What I do is deliberately reach out to inspiring things from so many different sources -
books, quotes, youtube lectures or wonderful stories of NDEs, things like that.
I have beautiful verses from the Bible I picked out and believe on my wall.

Hi Miss Hepburn, thanks for the reply.

[kanik]

Originally Posted by hopeful harry

Thank you for reading. HH. x

Hello hopeful harry

May I ask you a question?
Are you emotional person? Can you feel the pain of other people, do you feel sad for them, do you cry sometimes?

kanik

Hi Hopeful Harry, so sorry for your pain, and how strong and courageous you are to be where you are today. I don't believe that your soul has remained gone from your body. Sometimes when we have felt too much our brain, spirit take "time out", to rest, to protect, it's just "sleeping", you are always even if you don't think it connected to your higher self (your higher soul, the "mother ship"). It takes time for your brain, mind to heal, that's all, and it will, in it's own time, please don't despair. Just keep hanging in there like you do. You're doing great. All in it's time.

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by hopeful harry

Basically, I had a huge breakdown in November (the build up to it started in September) and have been put back on anti-depressants. I've also started on an anti-psychotic because my thoughts were all over the place and I felt like I was going mad (I still do). ... Ever since then, I feel like I've lost all connection with God/Universe and I feel like I am an empty shell of a man, living without a soul.

Hi HH

The fact that you are alive suggests that your Soul has not left you. After all, we are the Soul. But you are so immersed in your mental and emotional turmoil that you have temporarily lost Soul contact.

It sounds as if all sorts of things within you are being pushed to the surface, to be brought to conscious awareness and released. These things may include suppressed pain and grief and anger, usually going back to our childhood. So we feel anxious, depressed, suicidal, confused. It can feel as if we are living in a permanent black cloud and we just want it to end.

And we resist whatever is arising within us because it seems so painful. But eventually we realise that resistance causes more pain than whatever it is we are trying to avoid.

So try to be present with whatever arises and allow it to be there. Welcome it, dive into it. It cannot hurt you. And if you can really experience it then there is a moment of catharsis and release. Afterwards we feel freer and lighter.

Taking medication may ease the symptoms and help us to cope with daily life, but I consider such medication a last resort. Something within wants to come to the surface, and suppressing it further is not a cure.

Hang on in there - eventually you will come out the other side and your life will return to normal.

Peace

[hopeful harry]

Originally Posted by kanik

Hello hopeful harry

May I ask you a question?
Are you emotional person? Can you feel the pain of other people, do you feel sad for them, do you cry sometimes?

kanik

Hi Kanik, thank you for replying. Yes I do believe I'm somewhat of an empath. Maybe not really strong but I definitely have that side to me. Why do you ask?

[hopeful harry]

Originally Posted by asearcher

Hi Hopeful Harry, so sorry for your pain, and how strong and courageous you are to be where you are today. I don't believe that your soul has remained gone from your body. Sometimes when we have felt too much our brain, spirit take "time out", to rest, to protect, it's just "sleeping", you are always even if you don't think it connected to your higher self (your higher soul, the "mother ship"). It takes time for your brain, mind to heal, that's all, and it will, in it's own time, please don't despair. Just keep hanging in there like you do. You're doing great. All in it's time.

Thank you for your kind words asearcher. The last few months have been the hardest of my life and I feel no connection whatsoever to my soul. It's really frightening.
Hope you are doing well.