Forgiveness

[A human Being]

Originally Posted by GlitterRose

That's true, and I'm not trying to blame people for that, either.

My forgiveness of the really huge things had to go in stages.

I can relate, and I imagine that's how it goes for the majority of people - I struggle to understand the notion, as espoused by others on this thread, that forgiveness is easy, that certainly hasn't been my experience and I don't think it's the case for most other people either.

For me, to truly forgive is to let go of all negativity towards the person or situation in question, and that tends to happen in stages, as you say, and it isn't a purely mental process - it isn't simply saying or thinking the words 'I forgive you,' it happens on an emotional and energetic level too. I get the feeling that some people feel like it's immature or unspiritual to harbour grudges and grievances, or that doing so would make them a bad person in some way, so they deny that they even feel anger, resentment, bitterness, hatred, etc., even to themselves. But to truly forgive requires that we acknowledge and own those feelings, not try to push them away or deny their very existence.

[psychoslice]

Originally Posted by A human Being

I can relate, and I imagine that's how it goes for the majority of people - I struggle to understand the notion, as espoused by others on this thread, that forgiveness is easy, that certainly hasn't been my experience and I don't think it's the case for most other people either.

For me, to truly forgive is to let go of all negativity towards the person or situation in question, and that tends to happen in stages, as you say, and it isn't a purely mental process - it isn't simply saying or thinking the words 'I forgive you,' it happens on an emotional and energetic level too. I get the feeling that some people feel like it's immature or unspiritual to harbour grudges and grievances, or that doing so would make them a bad person in some way, so they deny that they even feel anger, resentment, bitterness, hatred, etc., even to themselves. But to truly forgive requires that we acknowledge and own those feelings, not try to push them away or deny their very existence.

Great advice, I myself was raped in my early years, I was also shot by someone as i was driving on a highway just out of town. I spent years telling myself to forgive these people and move on, it just didn't work. I then started to feel the anger within me, I even cut myself to let the anger flow out, which I usually ended up in the mental ward.

But in time I started to feel a lot better, all the anger was gone, it wasn't until then that I could truly forgive, not just those who hurt me, but also myself. Let go, your the only one holding on to it.

[A human Being]

Originally Posted by psychoslice

Great advice, I myself was raped in my early years, I was also shot by someone as i was driving on a highway just out of town. I spent years telling myself to forgive these people and move on, it just didn't work. I then started to feel the anger within me, I even cut myself to let the anger flow out, which I usually ended up in the mental ward.

But in time I started to feel a lot better, all the anger was gone, it wasn't until then that I could truly forgive, not just those who hurt me, but also myself. Let go, your the only one holding on to it.

Wow, so sorry to hear you had to go through all that mate, I haven't experienced anything like that so I can't imagine how difficult it must have been to come to terms with such traumatic situations - so glad you managed to come out the other side though, truly inspiring It might sound trite, but I really do believe that forgiving is a gift we give to ourselves, first and foremost, because we can't ever be truly at peace as long as we're holding on to grievances (I speak from experience, unfortunately!).

[lostsoul13]

Definitely believe in indifference—- it’s my best friend! I didn’t believe in forgiveness until my twin flame and children walked in and out on me including my soulmates, that’s forgiveness to me.

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by lostsoul13

Definitely believe in indifference—-

Ah, indifference, another word for detachment...not necessarily not caring ...
but 'not minding', nor bothered by something, or flowing with whatever.
I think it is a great thing!

[jennifer_maan]

forgiveness is the peace of mind!

[Molearner]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

Ah, indifference, another word for detachment...not necessarily not caring ...
but 'not minding', nor bothered by something, or flowing with whatever.
I think it is a great thing!

Miss Hepburn,

Definitely keeps us from being our brother’s keeper......perhaps a reflex action from the ego.....to further insulate us from others.

[Miss Hepburn]

O

Originally Posted by Molearner

Miss Hepburn,Definitely keeps us from being our brother’s keeper......perhaps a reflex action from the ego.....to further insulate us from others.

Oh that ego, huh? Thinking it wants to be in charge of others, change others, judge others, caring what others think, yup.
So wonderful to recognize it's tricks!

Anything that is not kind, forgiving, or even bothers us to no end...
self righteousness is a sneaky one, too, along with pride tossed into the mix,
thinking you must be right all the time, another, is all ego.
(Ok, for the masses - I'll say, "Is my ego, anyway.")
Gosh, what we must recognize, then dislike, in order to undo!!!!
But, it can be done!
I suppose it makes life interesting.

[Molearner]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

Ah, indifference, another word for detachment...not necessarily not caring ...
but 'not minding', nor bothered by something, or flowing with whatever.
I think it is a great thing!

Miss Hepburn,

Back to this....attempting to find a way to articulate these thoughts so as not to appear insensitive or uncaring. I would suggest that understanding leads to acceptance. We need to understand that we all live at slightly different levels.....I.e. my truth is not your truth. Forgiveness might work best(in either accepting or granting forgiveness) if both parties share the same level of consciousness otherwise understanding and acceptance might be more appropriate. If I think another has sinned against me that is my opinion of sin not necessarily theirs. What we can do is pray that we might share the same level of consciousness (understanding).

[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by Molearner

What we can do is pray that we might share the same level of consciousness (understanding).

why is THAT necessary? Isn't it enough just to love each other? Rather than impose yet another idea of what each other has to do to be accepted?