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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Healing

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  #1  
Old 21-03-2021, 09:33 AM
Guff779 Guff779 is offline
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Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 346
 
Need some healing on this situation

For months father complained everyday, all day about money when he:

-Is getting government assistance
-Has two major bank account savings for him
-Getting money from me every week
-Getting money from my sister

-Has mortgage paid off

And in the future

-He will get pension money in the next 2 years as he has worked for around 40 years here
-He'll still get assistance from me

He doesn't seem grounded or organised.

Then he says wear and tear in the house when he hasn't pointed it out. Then he says my room needs decorating when we just had it decorating and he is sometimes brutal saying 'I'll finish you off', that too having helped him for many years.

Also I haven't add the petrol and food money.

You haven't seen his attitude, negativity, but I had to go to the doctors.

I told him to calm down otherwise he will ruin my and his life.

Also he spends the much needed money on lottery where that could be put aside for bills.

And he doesn't wish to listen to my income on the side.

Do all the chores and he tells me he will finish me and he will kick me out even when giving money, add to that petrol money, food and everything else.

There were times he was brutal and he still doesn't wish to listen to my second source of income and he doesn't want me to move out.

And he says put the papers away, he will throw all the books on the bookshelf away. He will points to my room.

He has been complaining and arguing all day, everyday since June-Nov, he still complains everyday about something, but its getting gruelling and too much

_________________

Today I brought some drinks and he said why waste £1 on a lucozade botte.

He is ruining my dignity by saying I'm not a man, be clever, be clever like others, when I've had more obstacles to overcome, be more independent, have more responsibilities, mature, been in education, have an excellent track record of jobs and I'm doing well too.

I wonder what exactly does he want? I'm shown consistently I can take care of myself.

He also doesn't wish to listen to my second source of income.

Its getting gruelling and he has been 'at me' for 12 months now.

Out of anger he could ruin mine and his life, I already listen the resources he has, which is fine now and in the future too that he is 64.

I'll help him out in the future. He is fine now and in the future.

I do not think he has dementia since he remembers things very very well and things from the past too. He still seems smart to me in the sense of filling out forms and doing things.

He still is getting angry now and saying things.

I do not know if he just lives in a mental prison where he just continuously is scared of what people say and think of him all the time. And hence he is like this and wanting to prove a point to them.

He doesn't want to listen. I already said I got another income on the side, I often forget I even have it with his negativity.

He doesn't seem sensible or wise at all.

He continuously complains everyday about anything. I am saving a lot of money, What's wrong with spending £1 on a soda drink a few days a week?

Then after financially helping him, buying food, petrol he complains I need a new mattress, he says I do not help out, I do not help out when I do as much as I can do and I should be free to have a day off on my day off. I am a busy person.

So logically even despite our house decorating, we decorate every week?

I have an excellent track record of jobs and he just seems to have no faith, no faith in anything.
_____________

Also for for a long time my sister has put me down and saying I do not help out, help out with nothing when she herself doesn't and I give a money to my father every week and to the bills when she doesn't.

I don't know why my father is behaving like this, his intentions are, I need some healing on this. I'm scared of him. Living in the house seems gruelling.

Then he says I should be looking after the house and doing everything, taken over which he is being unreasonable, then he says the monthly council tax bill is coming when it is taken care of. And he doesn't listen to me.

Is he right to behave like this? Why is he? He doesn't wish to listen.
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  #2  
Old 21-03-2021, 11:12 AM
Native spirit Native spirit is offline
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I think you need to find a place of your own you are an adult. he seems very jealous of you. that is why he is being like this.
leave him to his own devices do not give him money when you move out let him see how much you have done.
I will send healing your way


Namaste
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  #3  
Old 21-03-2021, 11:18 AM
Guff779 Guff779 is offline
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Thank you very much Native Spirit.

I think its very wrong how he just complains and gets angry. Its gruelling and I think it is unacceptable from him.

Also complains about money, things when he is fine now and for the future and he doesn't wish to listen.
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  #4  
Old 21-03-2021, 11:02 PM
Guff779 Guff779 is offline
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Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 346
 
Who is he to get angry and complain everyday for so, so long and dig at me for 12 months?

Doesn't he realise I had to be more independent, have more responsibilities, be mature, I've overcome many obstacles.

I'm already a grown and smart man with general knowledge know when to go to the doctors.

I'm fine now and in the future and so is he with my excellent track record of jobs and he doesn't listen to anything.

How ridiculous does he worry, when in fact he is reversing everything, I'm a grown man, not 12 years old, what the hell I'm an adult now, I've achieved a lot, in jobs, got general knowledge, clearly a sensible, grounded person, independent too, clever. Obviously can look after myself as I did when I was young. His attitude is very poor.

He doesn't want to listen, huge shame on him.
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  #5  
Old 22-03-2021, 06:09 AM
utopiandreamchild utopiandreamchild is offline
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Join Date: May 2019
Location: Auckland New Zealand
Posts: 1,905
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Guff779
Who is he to get angry and complain everyday for so, so long and dig at me for 12 months?

Doesn't he realise I had to be more independent, have more responsibilities, be mature, I've overcome many obstacles.

I'm already a grown and smart man with general knowledge know when to go to the doctors.

I'm fine now and in the future and so is he with my excellent track record of jobs and he doesn't listen to anything.

How ridiculous does he worry, when in fact he is reversing everything, I'm a grown man, not 12 years old, what the hell I'm an adult now, I've achieved a lot, in jobs, got general knowledge, clearly a sensible, grounded person, independent too, clever. Obviously can look after myself as I did when I was young. His attitude is very poor.

He doesn't want to listen, huge shame on him.

Parents, you've got to love them Id say. You never know when life may take them from us. How about a hug now and then, that may soften him up?. Showing him love and affection he could catch on and change for the better?. I love you...the three most important words one could say. Maybe that would help?. Amen
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  #6  
Old 22-03-2021, 09:07 AM
Gem Gem is online now
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 22,073
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My dad was a bit rough. He's dead now, but back in the day the whole scene was going south and it was unbearable. I couldn't control any of it and had no effect and it was really bringing me down, so I left it behind, not easily, because I afforded certain protections in the situation and left people to get hurt in my absence. It was worse than your situation. Rage was growing in me and I was being destroyed. That why I left it behind and didn't look back. I don't feel any hostility or acrimony. I figure men choose the path they walk, and that's the way my dad wanted to go. I have my path and make the most of it, as best I can, not withstanding life issues that present my obstacles. Whatever that self-reflection is worth, that's all I can say.
__________________
Radiate boundless love towards the entire world ~ Buddha
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  #7  
Old 22-03-2021, 03:11 PM
Cinderella Cinderella is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 22
 
Native spirit may be right.

However if you decide to stay see it as an opportunity to be like a mountain ,so strong, grounded. Let his anger pass you like you would if you were walking in the wind. Sensing it but without being disturbed. You will get much stronger by practising this.

He is your father. Some say we choose our family. To learn our lessons etc. It may be a karmic problem etc. There is probably something from the family constellation. That is usually the case if the emotions involved are too big for what is happening ( in this case the emotions of your father).

For me all that is happening are signals. I was married. Got divorced. Moved in with my mother because of covid. To my horror she behaved like my ex. Said things the way he did and did a lit of things he did.

I did a lot of selfwork. You can read about it in the healing thread of Mildred. Our relation has improved a lot in the last year. Now she usually is not able to disturb me. I simply don't get angry (most of the time...).

You could try the healing hand. You can find it in this forum under healing. My suggestion would be to use it for your heart and liver. I think it needs to be done frequently. That is my experience. What I saw was that it heals things in and close to the body. It does not have much effect on karma. However that may be my experience


Whatever you choose I wish you'll get all the healing you need.
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  #8  
Old 23-03-2021, 10:12 AM
Guff779 Guff779 is offline
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Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 346
 
Thank you very much all and I will take into your comments and suggestions.

He just doesn't wish to listen. I could even be more successful and I could have extra income too and with proof too in an indirect way, does he listen? No? He complains about money when he is at and there could be more from me too.

Also he seems to want me to get married to anyone to satisfy himself when it is my decision and my life. Its like someone random said 'there is someone from another country', so why is so trustworthy and trying to add comments like 'but they are well educated' and get angry over that, when I'm fine and he just seems anyone is acceptable.

I've said this enough, he just doesn't listen.
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  #9  
Old 24-03-2021, 01:05 PM
Guff779 Guff779 is offline
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Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 346
 
I am being loving, kind, polite.

I've been doing all the chores and trying to earn a second income which I am.

Now he is saying 'I have nothing to do' and 'I am finishing him off'. When the chair accidentally broke.
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  #10  
Old 24-03-2021, 05:41 PM
Guff779 Guff779 is offline
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Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 346
 
I will sit down with him, listen to him and be more loving as I try to do and be a companion. He probably is angry with his life and possibly afraid of loneliness in the future.
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