how do you know its right

[tabane27]

I been with my boyfriend for 21 months but something does not feel complete but i do love him. Its like im still searching for something and its not here, like im held back. My instincts are drawing me away from him but i cannot budge, if this makes sense.

I feel stuck, would you go with your instincts or stay for love that has that something missing?

I'm assuming you've already tried to pinpoint what's missing, and whether or not it's a factor within the relationship or elsewhere in life?

When I fall in love, I do not hold back... I give it ALL... Then I never find anything missing... Why do you hold back? Eliminate the fears...

This works for me... I don't know if it works for everyone...

[John32241]

Originally Posted by tabane27

I been with my boyfriend for 21 months but something does not feel complete but i do love him. Its like im still searching for something and its not here, like im held back. My instincts are drawing me away from him but i cannot budge, if this makes sense.

I feel stuck, would you go with your instincts or stay for love that has that something missing?

The something that most of search for is "self love". That is never found in the eyes of another, it is in the eyes you see in a mirror.

I mention that because your intuitive senses have evaluated this relationship potential. Your instincts know things that you have blocked with your emotions.

You most likely will look at this thread 10 years from now and know that you knew what was best for you.

John

Originally Posted by tabane27

I been with my boyfriend for 21 months but something does not feel complete but i do love him. Its like im still searching for something and its not here, like im held back. My instincts are drawing me away from him but i cannot budge, if this makes sense.

I feel stuck, would you go with your instincts or stay for love that has that something missing?

21months.. this is about the time when we often re-evaluate relationship.
Because it is the time to make a decision - the decision to invest more time and energy into the relationship for the potential marriage.

No relationship is perfect because we are imperfect human and the life itself is imperfect.
There is NOT a single person who will meet every single expectation of one's relationship. None of us can meet that.

You have to figure out what the "missing" is.
It may really be about your own unrealistic expectation about him or about the relationship in general. Is the "missing" something unrealistic?
OR
It may be something that is realistic and that you may be able to find it with someone else who is more compatible with your emotional needs.

Take a separation from the relationship and let your BF know that you are having this doubt. Let him know that you love him very much (IMPORTANT) but that you need sometime alone to figure out about the relationship because he is very important to you.

The answer will come to you.
He may also be having the same doubt as you as well.

[tabane27]

Wow reading back on old threads Iv written. Reading this one gave me shivers. So wish I listened to my gut instinct at that time. The man personally destroyed me and scarred me for life. Good ride me lol.

I’m glad Iv looked back on my past in posts. I feel now Iv just shrugged some tenseness of my shoulders!

[tabane27]

Originally Posted by John32241

The something that most of search for is "self love". That is never found in the eyes of another, it is in the eyes you see in a mirror.

I mention that because your intuitive senses have evaluated this relationship potential. Your instincts know things that you have blocked with your emotions.

You most likely will look at this thread 10 years from now and know that you knew what was best for you.

John

8 years later coming back to read yes. I continued to stay in the relationship for another 3 years after the post. I shouldn’t of but now I look back I know now I was supposed to. Despite it being very dangerous to have stayed in it I grew in many ways because of it. The man haunts my dreams still to this day but Iv gained so much from the dangerous relationship I experienced.
I can close to death on a daily basis towards the end. As I look back in appalled that I allowed myself to go through it, then I look at how much stength Iv gained. Most importantly patience! Respect for others, respect for my life.