Women & Dealing with Stress

[FairyCrystal]

Not sure where to post it, but in a way it's about healing after something occurred that upset you.
Especially concerning women.

Thing being that dealing with issues, or the aftermath of it, works different for us women than it does for men.
In essence it boils down to women needed to talk about it, vent about it so it leaves their system.
If a woman doesn't or cannot do that it gets stored in her prefrontal cortex and keeps hindering, like a festering wound.

This has to do with the stress hormone adrenaline.
If a woman talks about it, it doesn't go further than that, the adrenaline is dissolved or no longer produced. Problem sorted.

If a woman doesn't talk about it to deal with it, the adrenaline is converted into cortisol. That is a problem as where adrenaline is just short-lived, a short burst, cortisol is way more long term. It doesn't leave the bodily system so easily.

I guesstimate this is why women among each other at times can address drama and whinge & whine about things.
I think it's an innate thing we do to get things out of our system so we can move on in life without the side-effects / after-effects of something upsetting and stress.

But then how do you deal with it when alone? What if you don't really have much of a social circle?
Certainly with the vast number of singles these days it could be a problem.
After all you can also do this 'venting' with a man. Doesn't have to be a problem for the relationship either as long as you tell the guy he doesn't have to do anything with it and it isn't about him, but that it would just help you if he could listen for a moment.

But without a partner... then what do you do?

Stress that nestles in the body and affects the brain and thus how you think, act, how your bodily hormones work and so on, can create chronic ailments.

I myself currently don't have much of a social circle to vent, nor do I have a partner at the mo.
Then what?

Anyone else in this position? How do you deal with it?

[~Lioness~]

What I do is I write/journal. Just free flow and not have a specific reason or idea or theme of what to write. I learned this in 6th grade when a teacher gave us an assignment to just write anything that comes to mind.

I talk to my cats. I reach out to make new friends. I joined a cycling club and am soon going to meet some new people.

If you ever want to vent, I think I'm a good listener. :)

[Starman]

Generally speaking females are more in touch with their emotions then males. They talk more about what may be going on with them and it is harder on them when they have no one to talk to. Although stress is a killer for both males and females.

For women stress can lead to many physical problems, like fibromyalgia, and other physical issues which are not prevalent in men. Generally men use aggression to deal with stress while women talk about their stress. Although today there are a lot of women at the gym using aggressive exercise to reduce stress.

The world is more stressful today and it is important to have a stress management progress, my stress management program includes physical exercise and quiet meditation. Our diet, what we eat and drink, can also add to our stress. Food can be like a drug which takes us up and then we crash, like from a sugar high. But it is also important to know your stress warning signs. I know when I am under stress because I start cursing and using foul language; this is a red flag for me.

The other thing is to know where do you collect stress in your physical body. Everyone has a place in their physical body where they collect and carry their stress. For me it is at the back of my neck and in my shoulders, for others it may be in their lower back, lots of people get tension headaches and that is an indication of where they are collecting and carrying their stress.

Knowing where you carry your stress can help you better pinpoint and release stress from that area. It would be nice to have someone to give me a back massage, but I don’t, so over the years I have collected a number of massage tools, electric devices which I use to massage my legs, back, shoulders, neck, etc. This helps to relieve stress.

Understand that loneliness does not come from being alone, rather loneliness comes from feeling disconnected. A creative person rarely gets lonely because their passion for creativity keeps them company. There are many ways to share your energy with others. More people are living alone these days then ever before in human history, but there are also more ways to connect with other people today then ever before in human history. Hang-in there and look within yourself for some creative ways to get your needs met.

Peace and Good Journey

[Native spirit]

I would have to agree with Starman


Namaste

[FairyCrystal]

LIONESS I too have thought of writing. I'm not sure if it works the same way as talking about it, but I think it's the next best thing.
Suddenly reminds me of it being part of the route to becoming and staying regulated when suffering from trauma by the ****** Childhood Fairy. She calls it the Daily Practice and it has a specific format with which to begin sentences.
So it's not just one big rant, you have to start each sentence a specific way.
I think that it works differently in your head when you do this from just letting rip.
When I first did it, I had difficulty with it, as it didn't feel like either of the 2 options were applicable. I just wanted to go BLEEEEEEEEEEHHH and let the whole lot out in one big tidal wave.
So I had to learn to think differently in order to work with the two options of the format.

Come to think of it, when letting it flood out without any structure it's more like an explosion of emotions. It can bring relief, but it also first drags up the full emotional charge so it can also be exhausting.
Another thing with just blurting it out on virtual paper is that you often end up blaming someone / something.

When following the format you actually address the root of why you are upset, what it is that hurts you. So in that sense it's far more effective.
You still vent but it's much calmer, and it works on a much deeper level, also because you have the ending that it soothing and relaxing, comforting.
The ending raises trust that Spirit has your back, and that it is dealt with.

This is the format:
I have fear....
I am resentful at...


ENDING:
I am now ready and hereby release these fears and resentments so I can have a clearer vision of what I should do today so I have the focus and energy and the inner calm to do that to the best of my ability.
Thank you
[your name]


See how those 2 optional beginning sentences basically rule out blame?! They kind of force you to look inside to feel why you are hurt and upset. So it addresses the core.
Much better than lashing out.


Hmmm... never thought of this, it became clear whilst typing!
Thank you so much for your feedback as without I wouldn't have gotten this insight now.

[OldChap]

Hi FairyCrystal,

We are never alone.

You might have forgotten about what came along with you as a newborn here.

Babies don't just randomly giggle while staring at an empty corner.

Being not fully immersed into this 3d part of reality yet, they are still a bit multi-dimensional and thus are able to see things that older fully 3d immersed humans can not see.

In other words, talk to yourself. There are other parts of you, the higher vibrating parts of you, that are not physical and can see the much bigger picture to better help you along your human adventure to return to love.

Praying and meditating are just some of the ways to reach out to your higher vibrating multi-dimensional self.

Talk to every cell in your body. There is much more contained in the "junk" part of our DNA that our 3d/4d technology can not detect.

We have never been alone.

[Unseeking Seeker]

Perhaps there is no substitute for social connectedness as a stress reliever, so it may be best to engage in a group activity you enjoy, a satsang, a line dance, a sport requiring teamwork … if nothing, get a dog or a cat, whatever you prefer.

Loneliness vs aloneness are opposites, with the former dependent on the external and the latter connected to divine energy in the internal. If we are bliss energised, then perhaps we do not require to socialise, although why not? We still should (wink at our neighbour!).

[Fatemahx]

I write about everything that is bothering me. then read it after some time to gain clarity, where it is my fault or of the other person's. moreover, one more thing that I find helpful is to walk barefoot on grass, in nature at least for half an hour, that's how I flush out negative energy from my body. Hope this helps!

[Native spirit]

There is one thing I say and that is
From every mistake we make We learn


Namaste