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  #1  
Old 03-11-2020, 09:16 AM
Heightend-Awareness Heightend-Awareness is offline
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How to do you deal with...

rude people.


There are many ways but this is the method I like the most apart from humour.


Don’t let a rude person cause you to respond with more of the same. One of the best ways to defuse rude and negative behaviour is to stay friendly and positive. This gives the other person a chance to calm down and adjust their behaviour to match yours. Kindness can be a a wonderful antidote to rudeness.
Showing kindness to someone who is being surly or insulting to others can be extremely difficult. But by setting a calm and well-mannered example, you can prompt them to follow your lead. If this doesn’t work, you can take pride in knowing that you didn’t lower your standards or add your own rude behaviour to the mix. Instead, you maintained your cool.
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'The two most important days in your life; the day you were born and the day you find out why.' - Mark Twain

Ha ezek lennének az utolsó szavaim, minden jót kívánok az élet során. Ahogy mindent megtettem, hogy figyelmeztesselek. Béke és szeretet mindig - HA

Yes, I spell my alias incorrectly on purpose. To prove I am not perfect. Yet.
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  #2  
Old 03-11-2020, 01:41 PM
ameliorate ameliorate is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Heightend-Awareness
rude people.


There are many ways but this is the method I like the most apart from humour.


Don’t let a rude person cause you to respond with more of the same. One of the best ways to defuse rude and negative behaviour is to stay friendly and positive. This gives the other person a chance to calm down and adjust their behaviour to match yours. Kindness can be a a wonderful antidote to rudeness.
Showing kindness to someone who is being surly or insulting to others can be extremely difficult. But by setting a calm and well-mannered example, you can prompt them to follow your lead. If this doesn’t work, you can take pride in knowing that you didn’t lower your standards or add your own rude behaviour to the mix. Instead, you maintained your cool.
That sounds like a good tactic if someone is amenable to reason, i.e. not totally lost it or is fairly obnoxious as a default setting - the difference between rude behaviour and rude people!

I think I might find it difficult to maintain a friendly disposition in the face of personal attacks...feels somewhat like giving a green light to sadistic behaviour if they are not won over. I won't stand for personal abuse - why should anyone tolerate this? Being assertive can show that you are not a pushover and may even gain their respect.

My way of dealing with rude behaviour is to quickly assess what's going on i.e. discern if someone is just letting off steam, may have misunderstood or if I'm up against someone who has an attitude problem (the latter being the hardest to reach some kind of civil exchange with.)

I look to understand the person/situation and make allowances for certain conditions e.g. anything that might cause them not to react in a normal fashion. People like to be understood and so, if they get that I'm doing this then it helps to defuse the situation.


Last edited by ameliorate : 03-11-2020 at 05:29 PM.
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  #3  
Old 03-11-2020, 05:33 PM
Heightend-Awareness Heightend-Awareness is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ameliorate
That sounds like a good tactic if someone is amenable to reason, i.e. not totally lost it or is fairly obnoxious as a default setting - the difference between rude behaviour and rude people!

I think I might find it difficult to maintain a friendly disposition in the face of personal attacks...feels somewhat like giving a green light to sadistic behaviour if they are not won over. I won't stand for personal abuse - why should anyone tolerate this? Being assertive can show that you are not a pushover and may even gain their respect.

My way of dealing with rude behaviour is to quickly assess what's going on i.e. discern if someone is just letting off steam, may have misunderstood or if I'm up against someone who has an attitude problem (the latter being the hardest to reach some kind of civil exchange with.)

I look to understand the person/situation and make allowances for certain conditions e.g. anything that might cause them not to react in a normal fashion. People like to be understood and so, if they get that I'm doing this then it helps to defuse the situation.

I totally agree. Different situations require different tactics.
__________________
'The two most important days in your life; the day you were born and the day you find out why.' - Mark Twain

Ha ezek lennének az utolsó szavaim, minden jót kívánok az élet során. Ahogy mindent megtettem, hogy figyelmeztesselek. Béke és szeretet mindig - HA

Yes, I spell my alias incorrectly on purpose. To prove I am not perfect. Yet.
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  #4  
Old 03-11-2020, 07:53 PM
inavalan inavalan is offline
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Slap them, or tell them they're ridiculous, then ignore them.

Just don't get angry, because that's bad for you only.

I disagree with the option to respond kindly. You'll get more aggravated, and they won't change.
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Everything expressed here is what I believe. Keep that in mind when you read my post, as I kept it in mind when I wrote it. I don't parrot others. Most of my spiritual beliefs come from direct channeling guidance. I have no interest in arguing whose belief is right, and whose is wrong. I'm here just to express my opinions, and read about others'.
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  #5  
Old 03-11-2020, 08:34 PM
Heightend-Awareness Heightend-Awareness is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by inavalan
Slap them, or tell them they're ridiculous, then ignore them.

Just don't get angry, because that's bad for you only.

I disagree with the option to respond kindly. You'll get more aggravated, and they won't change.
As we get older, you would think most get wiser. Kindness is an aspect of love and love can and does conquer all aspects of negativity. As love is what we are all here striving to achieve.
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'The two most important days in your life; the day you were born and the day you find out why.' - Mark Twain

Ha ezek lennének az utolsó szavaim, minden jót kívánok az élet során. Ahogy mindent megtettem, hogy figyelmeztesselek. Béke és szeretet mindig - HA

Yes, I spell my alias incorrectly on purpose. To prove I am not perfect. Yet.
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  #6  
Old 03-11-2020, 09:43 PM
inavalan inavalan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Heightend-Awareness
As we get older, you would think most get wiser. Kindness is an aspect of love and love can and does conquer all aspects of negativity. As love is what we are all here striving to achieve.
It might be so, but as far as I know most of us completely misunderstand what we are, why we are here, what should we do, what's happening to us, what is all this.

I believe that we aren't here to achieve love. If you look at how nature is set up, including humans, love isn't a goal. Antagonism is necessary. A perpetual sunny place wouldn't be habitable. Not killing to eat (plants are lives too) isn't possible.

But, I respect your right to your opinion. We should always follow our inner guidance, putting aside our biases.
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Everything expressed here is what I believe. Keep that in mind when you read my post, as I kept it in mind when I wrote it. I don't parrot others. Most of my spiritual beliefs come from direct channeling guidance. I have no interest in arguing whose belief is right, and whose is wrong. I'm here just to express my opinions, and read about others'.
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  #7  
Old 03-11-2020, 10:10 PM
Heightend-Awareness Heightend-Awareness is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by inavalan
It might be so, but as far as I know most of us completely misunderstand what we are, why we are here, what should we do, what's happening to us, what is all this.

I believe that we aren't here to achieve love. If you look at how nature is set up, including humans, love isn't a goal. Antagonism is necessary. A perpetual sunny place wouldn't be habitable. Not killing to eat (plants are lives too) isn't possible.

But, I respect your right to your opinion. We should always follow our inner guidance, putting aside our biases.
Five key lessons on why we are here. To reincarnate time and time again. Until these lessons are met.
Love, Compassion, Empathy, Gratitude and Forgiveness.

Yes, you are correct in that plants are lives too. However, they have little to no awareness and don't suffer in that sense that animals do. The fear and anxieties of the animal are imprinted into the flesh of the animal that we eat. So we then digest those imprinted emotions. Giving us added negativity. With plants, they understand somehow as they know that their purpose is to help sustain life.
I too appreciate and respect your opinion.
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'The two most important days in your life; the day you were born and the day you find out why.' - Mark Twain

Ha ezek lennének az utolsó szavaim, minden jót kívánok az élet során. Ahogy mindent megtettem, hogy figyelmeztesselek. Béke és szeretet mindig - HA

Yes, I spell my alias incorrectly on purpose. To prove I am not perfect. Yet.
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  #8  
Old 04-11-2020, 11:20 PM
ant
Posts: n/a
 
Where do we draw the line?

At my last and long last employment,i had two encounters with ice addicts.

Verbally abused within two inches of my face.

One threatened to blow my head off!


Imo,these two encounters,need tough love.

And need there own medicine,like along the lines of having both legs broken etc.

In both incidences,an eye for an eye is applicable.

A wake up call.


Like i had when i was stabbed two decades ago.

A wake up call,to turn there lives around.


Tough love in these encounters,

Cruel to be kind.


Gods work,for end goal of common good.


Your thoughts Heightend-Awareness,on how you would deal with the above encounters?
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  #9  
Old 05-11-2020, 01:44 AM
Heightend-Awareness Heightend-Awareness is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ant
Where do we draw the line?

At my last and long last employment,i had two encounters with ice addicts.

Verbally abused within two inches of my face.

One threatened to blow my head off!


Imo,these two encounters,need tough love.

And need there own medicine,like along the lines of having both legs broken etc.

In both incidences,an eye for an eye is applicable.

A wake up call.


Like i had when i was stabbed two decades ago.

A wake up call,to turn there lives around.


Tough love in these encounters,

Cruel to be kind.


Gods work,for end goal of common good.


Your thoughts Heightend-Awareness,on how you would deal with the above encounters?
Different kettle of fish when your talking about life-threatening situations. As someone, I am no longer, an angry and aggressive man, and a situation you describe, sure I would hand their own butt to them for messing with me or at least try. Simply acquire self defence moves and to learn how to avoid these type of situations would be somewhere I would start. As for what I originally posted I refer to the non-violent or aggressive person. Just plain rudeness. Nothing more nothing less. I hope I have respectully answered your question.
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'The two most important days in your life; the day you were born and the day you find out why.' - Mark Twain

Ha ezek lennének az utolsó szavaim, minden jót kívánok az élet során. Ahogy mindent megtettem, hogy figyelmeztesselek. Béke és szeretet mindig - HA

Yes, I spell my alias incorrectly on purpose. To prove I am not perfect. Yet.
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  #10  
Old 05-11-2020, 09:39 AM
ant
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Not a different kettle of fish at all.

I provided a real life scenario.

Try back peddling.
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