how does a male say...??

[Miss Hepburn]

Hi, make sure joking doesn't go too far, please.

[FairyCrystal]

Originally Posted by hallow

. That's funny John!!! I am not getting married again, the worst thing I can say about her is she extremely talkative.

Neither gender usually has understanding of how man & woman are wired, nor of the differences that automatically come from that.
This is stuff you cannot change.
The reason a lot of talk is often so overwhelming for men is that the male brain is wired to seek solutions and their brain is compartmentalised.

The way I explained this to women when giving courses is as follows:
The male brain is compartmentalised like a mansion with lots of separate rooms. Woman's brain is 1 big ballroom
Meaning a male will have to go from room to room to room when a subject changes. Woman doesn't as it's all in that 1 big ballroom. Easy access, right?!
If you can grasp that, visualise it, you will see a man running from room to room to room and back and forth etc. That's exhausting, isn't it!?
Woman can relax and sit back in her beautiful ballroom, even when we change subject a lot.

That's why it's best she talks to female friends about all the things that she now overwhelms you with. Basically most stuff that isn't important to the relationship, but of course leaving enough sharing intact to not ruin the connection.

The best way to solve this -and any other issue- is... clear, calm, loving communication!

And again, to make sure there's no gender-bashing... usually neither gender has understanding of how this works. If both did it could be easily resolved.

[RedEmbers]

�� hilarious...

And this is the moment where I realise that I ain't like most women :-D or possibly people in general.

I could not be bothered talking to other women or men about my relationship problems... I'd rather just drop a few "f" bombs... find a practical solution and get on with things.

[Lucky 1]

My wife is a gemini and can reaaally talk! (And talk and talk and talk!)

And As a guy with a loner streak lurking in the back of my personality i need a certain amount of quite alone time.

My rescue come from being a very early riser. I get up early ...pour a cup of coffee.....turn on the news (low volume) and enjoy the quite house......or in good weather, take my coffee walk out on our pier and watch the sun come up over the Gulf of Mexico

I run a business and much of the day is spent stressed and feeling up to my butt in aligators and i really need this quite time before i start my day.

Ill say that my wife of more then 30 years loves me and understands......but damn she can talk incessantly!

Any other guys here deal with that by having out of body expereinces when shes rattling on about something??

Sometimes she'll suddenly stop talking,look at me and pointedly say "where are you at"??

[Redchic12]

Aww RedEmbers ya make me laff. lOL

Sounds just like me!

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by Lucky 1

My wife is a gemini and can reaaally talk! (And talk and talk and talk!) And As a guy with a loner streak lurking in the back of my personality i need a certain amount of quite alone time. ... Sometimes she'll suddenly stop talking, look at me and pointedly say "where are you at"??

Interesting how opposites can attract and then spend years pushing each other's buttons to bring inner tendencies to the surface.

I am sure it is all pre-arranged and all part of our learning. My wife and I resolved this by each having our own house about ten minutes apart.
So we spend a lot of time together but we both have our own space. It works well.

Peace

[Redchic12]

IamThat. What a brilliant idea!

I’ve notice that a lot women I know (middle aged onwards) don’t want to live with men anymore and maybe it’s vice versa and the trend seems to be to stay with each other on weekends and then go back to their own place on Mondays.

Personally I see that as a healthy way to live. But for me, I prefer to be on my own. If I was younger ide probably opt for that.

[vibrations]

It's all about expressing oneself, if your other half can't be bothered, then it's all about them, they only want to hear what they want to hear! if its different they have the option to process this, yet some instantly disregard it, because they have a belief called the ego! and nothing stands in their way. Yet if we actually stop in the moment and listen, observe, and be open minded, this is where the conversation begins. and this is only when we can observe and study others in a unique way, its like stepping back and looking at the picture from their point of view. Regardless if it interests you or not, you have the option, and your response is this matter! and believe me it does matter, because we are matter and connected by a pattern, but if one keeps avoiding and circulating in their own patter, they are never going to change their own pattern. This is where psychology comes into it, we have to look inwards to look outwards. one who only looks outwards is in an illusion of the ego.

[Rah nam]

Originally Posted by hallow

How does a male tell a female to just be quiet for a little while without starting a war? Sometimes silence is nice.
There is a difference between talking and conversation. I enjoy conversation, but just pointless talk can be overwhelming.

Be patient, perhaps don't answer or interact when it is unwanted. People will come to understand in most cases.

[Redchic12]

Get some earplugs and try to hide them with your hair.

I wear them a lot so I can’t hear peoples voices when I’m on a bus, a train, working on my artwork outside and when meditating.

If she notices them just say, “yeah my hearing seems to be very sensitive to sound lately”.

You can still hear them talk but it is a VERY softer version of them. Lol