Empathy vs compassion

[Guillaume]

Following my post and thoughts here https://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/s...96&postcount=3

After going cycling I finally got my thoughts clear, and I think I fell - again - in the trap of empathy vs compassion.
And I think it's what separates Sadhguru from the Dalai Lama, it's the two living spiritual leaders I've studied the most.
Sadhguru often repeats that there is no clear separation between me and you and the tree next to me. That's very true we live in a symbiotic environment, and that's even more true if we explore our unconscious mind. Therefore I can't be happy if you are sad, I can't enjoy life here if the planet is ill.

HHDL often emphasizes the Heart Sutra, which itself emphasizes the emptiness nature of all phenomena. In this context, I can express my compassion when I see you sad, but your sadness doesn't touch me, because I know your sadness is empty, it's only the result of your momentary grasping / clinging to certain emotions and memories.

Thoughts? Do you feel more empathetic or compassionate?

[inavalan]

In my opinion, whatever you feel now will bring into your life situations that will make you feel the same, more and more.

If you feel sad / angry / fearful (as you feel when you're sorry for others), then your life will continue to bring your way situations that will make you feel sad / angry / fearful, in more and more ways.

Emotions are automatic reactions to perceptions (a step up from instincts). Feelings are emotions processed through thoughts.

You don't have control over emotions per se, but you can (learn to) control your feelings.

It is normal to emotionally react to others' suffering, but to really help them, and yourself, you have to think in terms of alleviating their suffering, focus on that and not on their suffering, which is detrimental to you, and won't help the others either.

I understand that other people, gurus, dogmas see reality differently than I do, and most of them honestly act the way they believe to be better, but judging from what we can observe around us, they must be doing it wrong.

[Guillaume]

Thank you for your answer.

Originally Posted by inavalan

In my opinion, whatever you feel now will bring into your life situations that will make you feel the same, more and more.

Yes, of course, but you can change your environment, move, etc.
In some places / with some people, I can be emotional, in other places I'll be considered inhuman.

Originally Posted by inavalan

which is detrimental to you, and won't help the others either.

"Theoretically" I agree, in practice I've seen people being happy of the failure of someone else. Many. Even myself, it's part of my ancient barbarian nature (not my mentality, of course).
Therefore with such people, being empathetic means lowering oneself.

I understand that other people, gurus, dogmas see reality differently than I do

Gurus and dogmas are the product of their followers' (and opponents') wishes, they don't exist for real, what they do and say is strongly influenced by their environment.

Of course there is a human being behind the guru, but I guess he's just like anyone else.

[AngelBlue]

Oh goodness and I can only answer from my own experience.
I am an Empath .
And I grew up in an era/ family that certainly never recognised or had even heard of "Empath" and what it meant .
Therefore I was lonely and misunderstood.

That is not to say that my family do not feel things. They do.
But they do not feel them as deeply as I do because being Empath and highly sensitive things affect me so deeply that it can make me behave in an emotional way that is off the rhictoscale and can take days to recover from.
I know that people that do not feel like I do don't understand or "get" me , and in general it is deemed that I'm not quite right in the head . It's extremely hurtful but I've had it all my life and as a result have become somewhat of a black sheep.

[Native spirit]

My life is very similar to Angel Blue's.
I grew up seeing and hearing spirit, I to am an Empath and I was the Black sheep also.

Namaste

[Molearner]

Originally Posted by inavalan

It is normal to emotionally react to others' suffering, but to really help them, and yourself, you have to think in terms of alleviating their suffering, focus on that and not on their suffering, which is detrimental to you, and won't help the others either.

Inavalan,

Hard as it is to say, true saints should be careful in intervening in the suffering of others…..they can rob others of the lesson of suffering. To suffer is the opportunity to either find God or, if one prefers, their inner Self……without bothering to offer the rationale for this, I offer these lyrics: “You’ve got to walk this lonesome valley….you have to walk it by yourself….nobody else can walk it for you…..”

[FairyCrystal]

For me also very similar to AngelBlue.
Exception is that I've learnt energy tools years ago (through intuitive dev. courses) and it doesn't take me days to recover any longer. Sometimes mere minutes. Also means certain things no longer affect me or not so intense.
The refraction has improved tremendously!


Compassion is higher vibrational. That was my first feeling & understanding.
Many people can empathise yet they aren't very high vibrational. You cannot really be low vibrational and express & feel genuine compassion.
Googled it, and yup...

Can you be empathetic but not compassionate?
Empathy and compassion are very different. They are represented in different areas of the brain. With empathy, we join the suffering of others who suffer, but stop short of actually helping. With compassion, we take a step away from the emotion of empathy and ask ourselves 'how can we help?

Exactly how I felt about it. People who empathise often lower their vibration unconsciously because they're affected by something unpleasant that happened (to someone else) and then end up feeling **** themselves.
When you feel compassion this does NOT happen, your vibration stays high, which is why you then are able to help and desire to do so.

[Guillaume]

Definitely being too empathetic is being the black sheep, that's how I sometimes feel.

Originally Posted by Molearner

To suffer is the opportunity to either find God or, if one prefers, their inner Self

That's right. However sometimes I just don't get why so much suffering.

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

With empathy, we join the suffering of others who suffer, but stop short of actually helping. With compassion, we take a step away from the emotion of empathy and ask ourselves 'how can we help?

That's right too, too much involvement in others' life drains our own energy.
Indeed compassion leads to helping others with some distance, like working on fixing the background, or infrastructures, but not at the front desk.

[AngelBlue]

..i think that basically sums it up. We can all be compassionate and do the right thing without the feeling of "attachment" that affects our central nervous system.
But the empath feels the emotion of the compassion deep within .

( I feel it's a bit unfair however that a non- Empath compassionate person is labelled "caring" , but an Empath is labelled "a nutter" LOL... Especially when it's your own family !!)

[FairyCrystal]

Originally Posted by AngelBlue

..i think that basically sums it up. We can all be compassionate and do the right thing without the feeling of "attachment" that affects our central nervous system.
But the empath feels the emotion of the compassion deep within .

( I feel it's a bit unfair however that a non- Empath compassionate person is labelled "caring" , but an Empath is labelled "a nutter" LOL... Especially when it's your own family !!)

Thank goodness I've never been called a nutter, it was just that it wasn't noticed by the outside world how incredibly sensitive I am and how much I can truly understand because I can empathise = tune in and feel it.
I have been called a busy-body in the past when I was trying to help as an empathetic person. That shocked me and I didn't understand. I was only 21-ish at the time.
But it made me think, and I used the same natural skills to tune in and feel so I could come to see why they said that.
That's when I began attempting to change it. Difficult at first but slowly I learnt.
And years later -when I'd set foot on the spiritual and intuitive development path- I finally got it.
A healer, told me, "You don't have to suffer with people but you can still care."
Not verbatim, we have 2 words in Dutch that express this beautifully, would translate into "co-suffering" and "co-living".
That was such an eye-opener to me! Someone saying you don't have to co-suffer. Why had I never gotten that memo???

The biggest difference in a way is that you can let go. You reach out, but if the other doesn't want your guidance/help, you're not affected by it. It's okay either way. You don't feel rejected as, no matter the outcome, you don't take it personally as you know it's not a reflection of you.
You've got inner strength, healthy boundaries and self-esteem which is why it doesn't upset or affect you when the other isn't willing to receive your help.
It feels entirely different to experience. Far more tranquil, doesn't cost energy either.
It's also knowing when to stop. So in a way you use your natural intuition much better as you use it to sense just how much care & help is okay, firstly for yourself so you don't over-give and deplete yourself.

I think in the past it was much more stressful in a way as empathising was my way of connecting with people. I think it was actually a survival strategy from my childhood.