Are you what happened to you?

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by ReturningMoon

I suppose what I am trying to say is that I don't think it's what happened to you but it's your own decisions that make you who you are. I think we always do have a decision but who you are now is the important part.

This also raises the question of what is meant by being who we are now. We are always who we are now. This may not be the ideal version of ourselves, but it is who we are now.

If ReturningMoon means being who we are free from all past conditioning then that is another matter. I am not sure if we can simply decide to be free of all past conditioning and it suddenly happens.

Living in a state of freedom from our conditioning requires a certain emptiness. And how do we become empty? By becoming aware of all our conditioned responses as they arise and letting go of them. But this is an ongoing process, not a one-off decision.

It is like peeling the layers of an onion. We peel away one level of conditioning and we find a deeper level beneath. And gradually we become more and more empty and we simply respond to life as it happens.

And maybe we can only be who we really are when there is no longer anyone present to be anything.

Peace

[AngelBlue]

Fantastic question......
""I get knocked down, but I get up again, ain't nothing gonna keep me down..""
Lyrics to chubbawumba ......
And SO true.
I got knocked down so many times , and I do mean physically, and everyrime I got up again I was punched back to the ground from the fist of a so called "man".... The father of my baby .
This man will meet his maker and have to answer for his actions but I won't.
I did nothing wrong.
Just one example of the beatings I have had including from my own parents , and the bullying etc etc etc...
And each and every time I just got up and got on with it.
Like any abuse victim I guess I just thought it was a normal part of life.
So in that respect I should be grateful that I grew up with it and it wasn't a "shock" later down the line ....
But I am proud and can PROMISE that I did not grow up the same .
I was kind and caring and did everything in my power to help others .
I am me .
I am not my abusers Thank God .


.

[kris]

I am not what happens to me. I am what I do.

[inavalan]

Originally Posted by kris

I am not what happens to me. I am what I do.

The way I'd formulate it: what I perceive that happens to me is a mirror of my inner state of being.

[Maisy]

Imagine an ocean which contains everything that has happened to you and everything you did and thought in this life. Everything you have seen, heard, and experienced. You are standing far inland on shore but a river is there that connects to the ocean. If you are in the river, you are aware of everything contained in the ocean. The river is the thought stream in your mind.

Can you get out of the river and while out of it no longer be what happened to you or anything you have done or thought or heard or seen? I think it's possible. But I think getting out of the river is a very tricky thing. If any part of you, even the smallest thing, remains in that river, you will be connected to the ocean of what happened to you and what you did since the second you were born.

[FallingLeaves]

i couldn't have chosen a 'life' like the one I've got, or really wouldn't have chosen it if I'd been told up front about it and given the choice... so... it is the product of everything that has happened to me and the way I responded to all those happenings as they were happening, both good and bad, that got me where I am.

[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by Maisy

But I think getting out of the river is a very tricky thing. If any part of you, even the smallest thing, remains in that river, you will be connected to the ocean of what happened to you and what you did since the second you were born.

you don't *have* to go to extremes, and still you can find good food

[Maisy]

Originally Posted by FallingLeaves

i couldn't have chosen a 'life' like the one I've got, or really wouldn't have chosen it if I'd been told up front about it and given the choice...

A lot of new age books and mediums say we chose it in the astral world before we were born. So like we stood around in the astral world with our soul group and our spirit guides and we were like, ok Ariana you will be my spouse and cheat on me...I need that lesson.... Rama you will be my business partner and steal all my money and bankrupt me.... I need that lesson etc.

Looking at it from this identity, from this person perspective, yea no way I would choose things like that. My parents were terrible, I would not choose them. But according to some new age writers and mediums, I did choose them.

[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by Maisy

Looking at it from this identity, from this person perspective, yea no way I would choose things like that. My parents were terrible, I would not choose them. But according to some new age writers and mediums, I did choose them.

that doesn't really work for me either... a more likely reason for all the horrors in my own life is my bad behavior at the end of the last one lol... as i do believe in karma....

[inavalan]

Originally Posted by FallingLeaves

i couldn't have chosen a 'life' like the one I've got, or really wouldn't have chosen it if I'd been told up front about it and given the choice... so... it is the product of everything that has happened to me and the way I responded to all those happenings as they were happening, both good and bad, that got me where I am.

It wasn't this "you" that chose your life as you remember it now, and most likely not everything went according to that "you" 's hopes (maybe better, maybe not).