Letting other people's problems be their problems.

[ReturningMoon]

Hi everyone. I think I am learning that the best way to handle my family relations or any relationship is to let other people's problems be their problems.
I find this to be especially true with my mother. She needs to go through what she needs to go through and I need to go through what I need to go through. It's that simple really.
This is just how I feel about relationships but what have you found helps?

[saurab]

yes it is true that other people's problems are their problems, but if you can help without interfering too much then that can also be nice. the key is to be detached and helpful, not indifferent. the way you have written your message, seems to me that you want to be indifferent, and that, my friend, is not the right approach.

[lostsoul13]

Yes, we all have to die~ and it’s our own problem.. imo life full of lessons and no guilt can change that we somewhat walk alone!!

Things can get to heated, because we are emotionally invested.. involved.. letting people deal with their own press that’s the only solution, because we are born alone die alone- everything else is experience..

People need to understand that all there is love, and sometimes tough love is what needed it’s hard luck!

[Native spirit]

You can only carry your problems. others have to carry their own


Namaste

[Sir Neil]

Everyone is under the law of their own consciousness and create according to that. Other peoples’ problems are their problems, as you say. They are there to teach them lessons, or are their own creations. You aren’t responsible for that, just as they aren’t responsible for what happens in your life. You can guide them along the way and help them if you can, but others shouldn’t be draining you all the time with their tribulations. Visualise yourself surrounded in a cocoon of white light, and that will protect you from the draining effect.

[iamthat]

We may say that other people's problems are their business. We cannot change other people, we can only change ourselves.

But as saurab says, uncaring indifference is not the right approach. How would you feel if you were going through a tough time and those closest to you were all indifferent to your difficulties?

And if we accept that all our problems are our own creations and it is up to us to fix them, then it could be argued that you have created this situation in your life where you have a mother with problems. So what can you do to fix this problem which you have created?

And all too often we see other people's problems through the filter of our own problems. The best thing we can do is to clear our own filters, resolve our own issues. Then we might be able to help others in a real way.

There is a balance between indifference and over-involvement. Yes, other people's problems are their own creations and learning experiences, but we can still be present and available for support. We can be detached while still caring.

Peace

[Redchic12]

Then why mention it?

[sky]

Is a problem shared, a problem halved ?

[inavalan]

I think that you have to honestly and clearly think about what would made you happy vis-a-vis that situation, then think and act that way. If you do that, you'll perceive changes in that situation which will make you happier. You don't have to decide what you want to happen, nor how, but set a doable time-frame.

Just feeling sorry for that person or for you, or being angry with that person or with yourself, will materialize into more situations in your life that will cause to feel sorry, or be angry, while not helping neither you, nor that person.

[Miss Hepburn]

I offer suggestions that have worked for others...if they don't take it, well, I'm a shrugger...as in, "Oh well."
You're right, it's their Path.