Empathy vs compassion

[AngelBlue]

Hi Fairy.... Lovely account of "you" and In turn "me"" , because we are all the same , and in a way "unique" ... Only a smaller percentage of us and that's what makes us extra special.
I knew when I was 4 that I was "different" but I didn't know why.
I knew that I was normal because I was "me" , so I had to conclude that there was something "wrong" with all the other 4/5 year olds in school.
I couldn't understand why they had to run around like that and be so noisy.
The noise was totally overwhelming for me.
It never entered my head that I was the "different" one.
My life was a complete struggle and STILL I never knew why until about 8 Years ago and it changed my life .
Finally I knew why I was different and I cried with each turn of the page and finally, finally I understood.
So I guess it figures that if I never knew, how was anyone else expected to ??
But it's different now. I'm poorly and I'm virtually housebound, so I don't need to be around people any more and soak up all the emotion.
HOWEVER ...I do watch a lot of TV therefore I still get emotional because I cannot shy away from true life stories, emotional topics and "say yes to the dress" ..!!!!
I even cry at adverts !
But I'm guessing you do too !

[FairyCrystal]

Yes, I do too. I sometimes think it's a good thing I'm single so I can bawl my eyes out with movies etc. as much as I have to without feeling awkward, hihi. I shouldn't feel awkward about that when with a partner, but somehow I do. And I do cry over everything as well, occasions when most others don't, possibly don't even feel moved. I guess that's what makes me feel a bit awkward?

My biggest theme in life is not feeling seen. Or heard. I have been bullied at school in the past for 6-7 yrs on end and that has had a serious impact on my life. I've been healing from that for decades, but sometimes I still stumble upon 'residue' from it. Old programs that have formed in the subconscious, survival strategies that I wasn't aware of yet.
And I grew up with a sister with epilepsy and that took up a lot of my mum's time and energy. In that sense I learnt to sort out my own stuff. Not that my mother told me so, but it's an automatic thing I did to not trouble my mother more. Not wanting to burden her. And since my mother figured I was healthy and strong and able to fend for myself...
I wasn't but I'd learnt early in life to keep up appearances. I felt embarrassed to let my parents know I had failed. That I couldn't cope.
My parents didn't know I got severely bullied at school until I told them when I was 19! They were shocked!
A therapist once told me that people who've been bullied become very flexible in order to be able to blend in regardless the circumstances.
He also said that, yes, it wasn't always handy and sometimes you have to stand your ground, but that there's also a big positive to being flexible. That insight helped me a lot. I was 36 at the time.

The other day I did Joe Dispenza's Blessing of the Energy Centres meditation and again the "not being seen/heard" came up, esp. concerning the Throat Chakra.
It's not nearly as bad as it used to be, I've already healed so much over the years (56 now), but there's still more deeper layers. That part isn't just from this life, also from plural past ones.

All that I think led to the following, which I was asked to ponder by a healer: "Why do you need to be needed?""
At first it infuriated me! I was livid as I felt it didn't apply to me at all!
Now that I have grown and got way healthier self-confidence, inner strength etc. etc. I no longer need to be needed, but it was a process, hihi.
Telling that as I think maybe many empaths have a similar underlying theme.
I've come across people in healthcare for instance, adamant that it was their calling, only to years later say I'd been right. It wasn't their calling, they just had the need to be needed. Once aware some changed profession and felt much happier and fulfilled in life!

Not to say being an empath is unhealthy, don't get me wrong. I'm also still an empath. But I think maybe the difference lies in being an empowered empath, one that has gone through lots of personal growth & development, and the unempowered empath.
For me it's now an asset while, looking back, it used to be a weakness.

I was born with abilities, seeing, hearing, sensing etc. So I was already gifted without effort, although I shut most of these things down when I was about 6. But I think because of the bullying I fine-tuned those skills into super strong antennae so I could sense and know when other kids were going to be mean again and thus anticipate and act accordingly. That's where the flexibility was created as that's not really me. I'm a Taurus and when I don't want something, I don't want it, and I really don't care if people get angry, scream, jump up and down or whatnot. If I don't want it, I'm not going to do it. That's the real me.
That entire dynamic from the bullying created a kind of veil over the real me.
So tests like enneagrams always came up with something that fitted that and not the real me. Has taken me years to understand that. I also have the ability to steer tests and enneagrams to whatever outcome I want as I see right through the questions, hihi.
I learnt a lot as a child to survive and appear to fit in.
It can come in handy, that can be an asset. But I no longer fear standing out and being me as much as I used to.

[Aethera]

Originally Posted by AngelBlue

..i think that basically sums it up. We can all be compassionate and do the right thing without the feeling of "attachment" that affects our central nervous system.
But the empath feels the emotion of the compassion deep within .

( I feel it's a bit unfair however that a non- Empath compassionate person is labelled "caring" , but an Empath is labelled "a nutter" LOL... Especially when it's your own family !!)

I feel that empaths are more intune with their heart center, and compassion from love that's there and how vital that space is to elevating & helping, maintain their vibration and in the direction they go in life.

I think those that say they're caring, but aren't, use the term to as a way to protect their self image. An egoic reaction to protect it's image of how other's see them.

Originally Posted by Guillaume

After going cycling I finally got my thoughts clear, and I think I fell - again - in the trap of empathy vs compassion.
And I think it's what separates Sadhguru from the Dalai Lama, it's the two living spiritual leaders I've studied the most.

Isn't the Dalai Lama the guy who got caught putting his tongue in little boys mouth?

[Redchic12]

Same SexTF………No the Dalai Lama did NOT put his tongue in the boys mouth. He stuck out his tongue and
the boy stuck his tongue out and they were both laughing.

Ok not the most professional thing to do but then again he is 88years old and probably I bit senile by now,
so let’s give the guy a break, as he has done a lot of good in this world.

[JustBe]

Originally Posted by Guillaume

the result of your momentary grasping / clinging to certain emotions and memories.

Thoughts? Do you feel more empathetic or compassionate?

I’m an empath who has had to develop a deeper level of compassion because at that level empaths no longer take in and on. I’m still able to understand another’s feelings, my empathy is clear, but I’m also grounded in self compassion that moves in such a way Im not drained or retaining another’s feelings.

Empathy allows me nowdays, to recognise and feel what others feel, yet compassion allows me to act and respond without being contained by what I feel through others.

Empathy or empathic relating tends to move more towards sameness, which means it’s limited in this way.

Compassion on the other hand is not limited in this way. It moves and acts with an intent of kindness towards all life. There is no emotional involvement but rather clear seeing what another needs. Clear empathy that flows with, rather than caught up in..

[FallingLeaves]

i never thought it through that deeply. My own musings have been along the lines of having to be a chameleon to 'fit in' so I would 'be safe'.... it was quite novel when I learned I didn't HAVE to change the color of my skin just because someone else had a whim lol...