Religious Trauma and Relationships

[Gem]

I was traumatised by religion and had the typical symptoms of guilt and self-loathing. That kinda integrated and became part of the landscape, so I don't experience triggers anymore.

In my family people do things I really don't agree with, and it is distressing for me to see loved-ones on paths of self-harm, but I'm well into my 50's now, and I don't interrupt or intervene in anything. I figure it's their path to travel, they make their decisions, and they know better than me what's best for themselves - or they'll find out in their own way. Hence I don't project my distress, which is my issue, not theirs. I figure this is better for the harmony which is best for the long run.

[Altair]

This is sad to read, though it can happen anywhere I suppose, religious or not. The underlying attitude (''believe this or perish/face wrath'') is the problem. I grew up with religion but it was pretty softie, mostly singing psalms and listening to some moral lessons.

[kris]

Originally Posted by AncestralEchoes

I was raised in a cult-like Christian home where abuses were interwoven with faith, .....
.... seeing the most hurtful messages of my youth passed on to the younger generation is very, very tough.

I grew up without religion and have never missed religion. But religion won't go away because it caused you trauma or because I don't care about it. What we can do as individuals is speak about our experiences to those who are being hurt now by such an upbringing.

[AncestralEchoes]

Originally Posted by kris

What we can do as individuals is speak about our experiences to those who are being hurt now by such an upbringing.

Totally agree, but I think I have to accept that speaking to it doesn't always make an obvious difference. In being transparent about my own experiences and why I believe religion/spiritual paths should be chosen and not force-fed to children, I've been vilified for not loving my own child enough to raise him in the same faith. Ironic to be shamed for respecting instead of indoctrinating, especially since he's freely chosen that path anyway.

I suppose that people immersed in systems based on fear and coercion, whether it's a family system or an institution, often don't "hear" what anyone that has removed themselves may have to say. My only hope is that by pointing out how easy it is for people with bad intentions to seek "cover" in such places, a seed of caution was planted that may avert further harm.

[Native spirit]

My childhood friend and her two brothers were bought up in a religious household they were not allowed out on a Sunday. only to go to the Gospel hall their parents attended.
They had bible studies when they got home from church.
Now they are adults and have kids of their own they stepped away from religion.
They wont entertain it they said to me if they had a choice whether to go to church or not they wouldn't be against it so much
but because they were forced to go it turned them against religion all together


Namaste

[kris]

Originally Posted by Native spirit

..... but because they were forced to go it turned them against religion all together

AncestralEchoes, this is something to find comfort in.