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04-08-2020, 01:12 AM
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Stuck in a friendship that is starting to feel one sided
Hi there. I am stuck in a friendship that feels one sided. I am afraid to ask the friend about where she stands in the friendship. I'm afraid that I will get hurt by the truth.
My gut instincts have been telling me she put more distance between us.
Why am I wanting so badly for her to actually put words to what I sense?
How do I honour my gut instinct?
The tricky thing is, I started getting to know her as a ceremony conductor. Then we became friends. Then after a health crisis last fall, she put up a wall between us. Her tone got cool and she has done and said a number of things that I, as a sensitive person, have cringed at. Her actions have been subtle but being as sensitive as I am, I feel it and I feel at an impasse about bringing it up with her.
How do I release me hanging on wanting the old friendship back - which does not seem possible - and free myself up to just attend her ceremony as a "participant" and no longer as a friend? Thank you!
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04-08-2020, 06:30 AM
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Master
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 4,236
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If you are trying not to be upset as you can no longer be friends then I do not think you can. I think time will heal. More people will come into your life and this person will eventually fade away and you will no longer care or not as much.
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04-08-2020, 11:43 AM
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Administrator
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 11,191
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If your instincts are telling you that something is wrong,Listen to them they are not wrong.just put some distance between yourself and the other person
Namaste
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04-08-2020, 04:42 PM
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Master
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 14,332
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I agree with Ns. By distancing yourself you will save yourself a lot of grief and pain.
Is this just a friendship or are/were you hoping for more?
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04-08-2020, 04:52 PM
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Ascender
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: PNW - US
Posts: 841
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Sometimes we just have to accept that things have changed. One big thing I've learned is that I don't need closure from anyone anymore. If they're cold and disappearing, go ahead and just go. I'm not gonna chase after.
Have you confronted her about this? You could send her a quick text to let her know you've noticed the distance, hope she is ok and that you're there if she needs to talk.
Maybe she's just really stressed and really has nothing to do with you or anyone but herself and what she is going through
__________________
City and Colour - Grand Optimist
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04-08-2020, 06:11 PM
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Administrator
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Past Pluto in the vastness of space and time
Posts: 13,921
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Hello
Pull away slowly by setting goals on what you want to have come from a friendship. I have come to find cutting the ties in full will only bring you in more of the same sort of friendships as there is usually lessons you need to learn.
In pulling back and being able to say "no" the most powerful of all words we have, we do learn and we do grow.
Lynn
__________________
If the crow has chosen you as your spirit or totem animal, it supports you in developing the power of sight, transformation, and connection with life’s magic.
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04-08-2020, 08:04 PM
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Master
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 4,236
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I agree with the above comments. When it looks like it not going to work it best to move on.
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