Develope compassion ?

[deepdip]

If you realise you lack compassion, how would you try to develope it in you ?

[inavalan]

Why do you think you lack compassion, and why do you think it's desirable to have it?

[kassalee]

I'm involved with The Compassion Course put on by NVC/NYC, its very good.

Course has already started, closed registration until next June, however...

The Kindle book "The Compassion Course" by Thom Bond is available online and covers a lot of material related to developing compassion.

[deepdip]

Originally Posted by inavalan

Why do you think you lack compassion, and why do you think it's desirable to have it?

It's not that I don't have compassion at all, I just feel that it should be developed, it is something I want.

Lack of compassion creates perfect atmosphere for contempt,disgust,anger.

[deepdip]

Originally Posted by kassalee

I'm involved with The Compassion Course put on by NVC/NYC, its very good.

Course has already started, closed registration until next June, however...

The Kindle book "The Compassion Course" by Thom Bond is available online and covers a lot of material related to developing compassion.

Right...thanks !

[green1]

You may want to do the following:

When you see a person suffering from a problem, say: “The same problem may happen to me, if I don’t pay attention.”

Get used to the problem, so that you do not approach it with disgust.

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by deepdip

If you realise you lack compassion, how would you try to develope it in you ?

Maybe a good place to start is to be clear about the differences between sympathy, empathy and compassion, as these are sometimes confused.

Sympathy - I am sorry that you are going through this painful experience.

Empathy - I am sorry that you are going through this painful experience and I share your pain.

Compassion - I am sorry that you are going through this painful experience and I will try to alleviate your pain.

It can be difficult to clearly differentiate between the three, and some may disagree with the above descriptions.

From positivemindsinternational.com

Having empathy is your ability to put yourself into someone else’s shoes.

Sympathy happens when you may not on a visceral level experience the sadness or pain that someone else is feeling but on the cognitive level you understand the feelings of another. I’m not sad when my friend’s old dog passes away but I can understand that my friend feels sadness.

Compassion on the other hand comes from a Latin word that means “to suffer with”. When you are compassionate you are able to be aware of another’s suffering, you have sympathetic concern to the level that you have been emotionally moved by their suffering, and then you wish to relieve that suffering and you act somehow in a way that is helpful.

Mathieu Richard, a French Buddhist monk says “compassion is unconditional love applied to the suffering of others”.

How would you try to develop compassion? To me, this requires both emptiness and detachment, which may seem a contradictory approach.

Emptiness is required because we cannot be truly compassionate if we are full of our own issues. Whatever we might feel will be coloured by our own limitations.

Detachment is required because we cannot help others by descending to their level of suffering. If a person is stuck in a deep hole we cannot free them by climbing into the hole with them.

In simple terms, I consider compassion to be a natural quality of the Soul (or Consciousness) which arises spontaneously from within. So we do not have to worry about how to develop compassion. We just have to identify more and more with Soul consciousness and then we naturally become compassionate.

Peace

Hello deepdip !

We never have too much compassion. Therefore, we never have too much of you. Also, sure you could follow a course of study, that's one way. Another hint for you, have you looked at your surroundings ?

In any case, thank you for being you.

[ocean breeze]

Originally Posted by deepdip

If you realise you lack compassion, how would you try to develope it in you ?

If i realized i lacked compassion or empathy in me i wouldn't do anything. I wouldn't see it as something wrong that needs to be made right. That's looking at things from a childish perspective. From a conditioned mindset. And yes spirituality is also a conditioning by most definitions. I would simply accept that this is the type of person i am.

Not long ago i was reading from a book about someone who said what he liked most about Jesus was that he often ate and hung out with sinners because he didn't see himself as any different or better than them.

[Starman]

In my opinion compassion is more about feeling then doing. Doing too much for a person may not allow that person to learn how to do for themselves. I subscribe to the adage; give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Which one of these are more compassionate.

Compassion is not about making others dependant on us. I worked in the professional helping field for more than 4-decades, and I had to learn how to serve. There were times when it was felt as service to others, and times when it just felt like work. It was all in the attitude which I had. The opposite of compassion is indifference, uncaring, or apathy.

Empathy is more than just seeing things from another person’s perspective, compassion comes when we have a deep sense of empathy. Sympathy is when we are sorry about what another person is going through. But telling another person that you are sorry does not necessarily lead to compassion. Compassion is genuine caring, or trying to care for another person’s inner life.

Compassion is often seen as something that we do for a person externally, and those type of gestures can be compassionate, but when we are bathing in our own deeper spiritual presence, a softness comes over us, and compassion comes naturally. Because we see, and feel, that person, or people, as ourselves and there is no separateness or individuality.

Can you have compassion for a sex offender, murderer, child molester, or other person who maybe offended you or someone else? When I was working on my Masters in Social Work one of my professors said that we should also have compassion for the well off and rich, because most people only have compassion for the poor, those who are in pain or struggling. She would say that the rich and well off need compassion also. In my opinion compassion is a spiritual quality; it is inherent in the fabric of pure divine spirit.