I feel like my angel has abandoned me.

[ISOP7]

In 2018 my life took a turn for the worst.
I had a car accident (wasn’t bad), from that moment bad things started happening in my life.

My life has always been somewhat hard. But despite that, I’ve always felt some protection and guidance from above. There were countless times when I was miraculously saved from bad or dangerous situations, or when things ended up working in my favor unexpectedly. Looking back, I even think to myself: oh wow, how did I even survive! I believe God loves me.

I also felt some guidance. Call it a voice from above or intuition, that would put thoughts in my mind of how to proceed or just give me information, that made me certain of my actions and gave me security.

After that car accident something has changed. I actually feel left without protection and if I am attacked by some dark spirits as if someone gave a go.

There are brief moments, when I feel the same again, protected and strong. Even “hear” the voice again (I don’t really hear, it’s just some firms thoughts or knowledge come from nowhere).
But then something happens and I go deeper into the dark hole.

Most of the time that something is people that cause tremendous damage to my psych and my spirituality, my mental state.

When things start to look better, someone does something bad to me or around me.
Or things break at the very crucial moments, only to start miraculously working again after.

I should mention, that all those things and people happen at the very crucial moments of deadlines for projects or when I made other important commitments or when I have to make very important decisions.

It’s like all these demons in different shape or form are coming to take me down.

Someone told me may be someone made a spell on me. No matter how much effort I apply, discipline and hard work, everything I’ve been trying to do since 2018 ends up in ruins, including my health.

Last year in September I made a new plan. I also did some cleansing spiritually. It seemed as it helped. For 2 months everything was going smooth.

Then one bad thing happened here, another there... I’ve made some major mistakes in my plan. I was about to be desperate, not knowing how to get back up.

I went to see my psychic. She’ve helped me a lot in the last 6 years. She saw things, and recommended how to take action. She said everything will work out well.
In 6 years she has only given me good recommendations, whenever I followed, it always worked out in a better way than if I didn’t.

THIS TIME her recommendations about most important events were OPPOSITE to what I should have done.

In a few words: I was waiting for some info for my project to take actions on time (it’s time sensitive). She told me: you will hear some good news in February and will get excited, but you need to wait until May.
True: I heard the news I was waiting for in February, my plan was ready, I was going to act on it. Then I remembered her words and decided to wait.
NOW ITS TOO LATE. An 8 months project goes down the trash. And I am broken and shuttered in pieces like never before.

Why did this happen? I don’t think she consciously on purpose gave me bad information. I believe those demons that have been attacking me, put the wrong info for her to tell me.

Sometimes I feel like JOB from the Bible. I’ve lost almost everything. My body was covered in hives from neck to toe for a couple months. But how long did he suffer? How long....

The last time I “heard” that voice was in the middle of March. At the time my head was spinning from my supervisors imposing drama on everyone.

Since then I feel lost and abandoned.

I hope someone reads and replies to my thread something...anything.

I don’t know where to look for answers. I wish I could call up there and ask what did I do wrong, why and how long....

[John32241]

Hi,

I always liked that bibical story of Job. I identify with it. I am able to talk with my angelic self.

You did nothing wrong other than believe what we have all been taught by religions and our society. That God is a judgemental and punishing creator. Humans are that way and they project that as being what the creator would be like. The reality is that God loves us. We are never judged or punished.

The why these things happen is because of your beliefs. What you think about and fear is what you will create. If you evolve/change your thinking then your life will be better. Does this concept resonate with you?

John

Hi... You are not being punished. You are loved. Things happen in life that we cannot understand. These are challenges. We have to cross the hurdles to continue down the path of our life. If something did not work out as you expected it is because there will be another door that opens for you... Bigger and better than the one that closed. We grow and learn, and everything happens for a reason. Stay strong , and grow with that strength within yourself. Best of wishes....

[lomax]

Originally Posted by ISOP7

In 2018 my life took a turn for the worst.
I had a car accident (wasn’t bad), from that moment bad things started happening in my life.

My life has always been somewhat hard. But despite that, I’ve always felt some protection and guidance from above. There were countless times when I was miraculously saved from bad or dangerous situations, or when things ended up working in my favor unexpectedly. Looking back, I even think to myself: oh wow, how did I even survive! I believe God loves me.

I also felt some guidance. Call it a voice from above or intuition, that would put thoughts in my mind of how to proceed or just give me information, that made me certain of my actions and gave me security.

After that car accident something has changed. I actually feel left without protection and if I am attacked by some dark spirits as if someone gave a go.

There are brief moments, when I feel the same again, protected and strong. Even “hear” the voice again (I don’t really hear, it’s just some firms thoughts or knowledge come from nowhere).
But then something happens and I go deeper into the dark hole.

Most of the time that something is people that cause tremendous damage to my psych and my spirituality, my mental state.

When things start to look better, someone does something bad to me or around me.
Or things break at the very crucial moments, only to start miraculously working again after.

I should mention, that all those things and people happen at the very crucial moments of deadlines for projects or when I made other important commitments or when I have to make very important decisions.

It’s like all these demons in different shape or form are coming to take me down.

Someone told me may be someone made a spell on me. No matter how much effort I apply, discipline and hard work, everything I’ve been trying to do since 2018 ends up in ruins, including my health.

Last year in September I made a new plan. I also did some cleansing spiritually. It seemed as it helped. For 2 months everything was going smooth.

Then one bad thing happened here, another there... I’ve made some major mistakes in my plan. I was about to be desperate, not knowing how to get back up.

I went to see my psychic. She’ve helped me a lot in the last 6 years. She saw things, and recommended how to take action. She said everything will work out well.
In 6 years she has only given me good recommendations, whenever I followed, it always worked out in a better way than if I didn’t.

THIS TIME her recommendations about most important events were OPPOSITE to what I should have done.

In a few words: I was waiting for some info for my project to take actions on time (it’s time sensitive). She told me: you will hear some good news in February and will get excited, but you need to wait until May.
True: I heard the news I was waiting for in February, my plan was ready, I was going to act on it. Then I remembered her words and decided to wait.
NOW ITS TOO LATE. An 8 months project goes down the trash. And I am broken and shuttered in pieces like never before.

Why did this happen? I don’t think she consciously on purpose gave me bad information. I believe those demons that have been attacking me, put the wrong info for her to tell me.

Sometimes I feel like JOB from the Bible. I’ve lost almost everything. My body was covered in hives from neck to toe for a couple months. But how long did he suffer? How long....

The last time I “heard” that voice was in the middle of March. At the time my head was spinning from my supervisors imposing drama on everyone.

Since then I feel lost and abandoned.

I hope someone reads and replies to my thread something...anything.

I don’t know where to look for answers. I wish I could call up there and ask what did I do wrong, why and how long....

If your overself (G-d) wants you to suffer,the angelic obliges.I'm on the same page for years now.Maybe they're not so goodie goodie as we think.I have white feathers landing in front of my face,number patterns,some other stuff that i don't want to share,and yet,all i experience is suffering.

Are you ok with your supposed lessons?Cause i'm not.I'm not learning anything at all.
Everyone who steals the joy from you,it's a sinner,no matter who or what he is.

[ISOP7]

Thank you all for reading and responding. I appreciate each and everyone of you taking the time to read my cry.

I am not ok with my lessons, they are too painful, altering and profound.

I will never be my old self and I was a one pure creation as I think.
I get the lesson though: I’ve been lacking faith and thinking it all depends on me lately. May be I got a little pride for my achievements without giving credit where necessary.
So I got 2 years of misery, where I could do everything in human power and yet achieve nothing and end up in ruins.

Job’s wife said to him: “why don’t you just curse God and die?” And I am thinking if this is what it is about. But then why save me before? Why keep me living for this long when I could do that long ago? Is it to make me taste the happiness first so I know how it feels and then take it away so I’d make an informed decision?

Or is it to make me smarter and equipped for some purpose that I have not fulfilled yet?

Through all these trauma and pain, one thing is definite: I’ve become wiser than ever, I’ve gained so much knowledge, some people asked if I could read the mind. But with that knowledge came a lot of pain. Some things I wish I never knew or understood. I lost my innocence, my naive genuine hopeful spirit in the process.

Just why.

When we know the reason for anything, it takes away half the pain.
Naturally I am trying to come up with some reasons. Pride and lack of faith is one. Then I am thinking may be it’s the place where I live.

It’s wicked, based and build on human weaknesses and sinful desires. I could almost feel the bad cunning energy in the atmosphere.

May be it’s hard for my angel to get through all this energetic darkness? And that’s why I “hear” the voice sometimes, but not often and loud enough, and then get distracted and turned away from the right path? Because it’s just too many bad spirits here. And I can’t fight them all for a long period, it’s too much.

I’ve been trying to move since 2017. May be that’s all connected: me trying to break away from this place and this place is not letting me go by sabotaging everything I am trying to do in order to leave.

I heard somewhere before: if you are off your path, you will suffer tremendously. May be getting back on my path is actually physically moving from here.
And may be the way to do it is just take a giant step of faith and move and things will improve.
That is going to be plan A.

Otherwise, there is always a plan B .....

[John32241]

Hi,

May I say that suffering is a choice of perception. Hardship is not. Life can be hard on us to deal with. It can shape us or greak us. That is our choice.

Job's wife was not being very helpful. That outlook "curse God and die" was not very encouraging. Job knew that and decided to confront God in a good way to learn more about what was going on.

The divine aspects of self never want any one to have pain or choose to suffer. The goal is to find divine love in life and accept it. What often happens is that challanges are seen as a punishment. Humans make laws with punishments. God does not. When you stop thinking like a human, and consider the mind of God, then love is the motivation for everything.

It is true that we can never be our old self. For once we have learned some thing it can not be ignored. It is not the place you find yourself in that needs to change, it is your outlook on life that requires elevation, as I see your circumstances. Have you considered plan C.

John