Why is it hard to feel spiritual when you're mentally ill?

[BJAsapace]

I'm manic a lot of the time, feel like people can hear me think, schizoazffective, "delusional." I thought religion or spirituality would help but it really doesn't, it makes me feel a whole lot worse about myself and condition I'm in. I regret ever knowing about religion and spirituality, I want to feel mundane again. But at the same time it has made the unconscious conscious which makes me feel even worse because my mental health and mania really f*ck me up. 7 years of being mentally ill has really taken its' toll on my life, although I do like some of the concepts, it hasn't helped my state of mind, if anything it made it worse. I've had a messed up life, but it also makes me wanna be a better person yet i feel so self-contradicting inside, it f*cking hurts a lot of the time. The fact I feel people hear me think is what really messed me and my world up, it's one of the main causes of my depression, anxiety and voices aside from feeling guilty bout my past. In a way I'm venting, yet I'm curious as to why spirituality doesn't really help.

[JosephineB]

Sorry you're going through this. Have you tried accepting your negative side as well as your positive? Also trying not to care what others think of us helps. You can love me or leave me type attitude. I know easier said than done.

[BJAsapace]

Originally Posted by JosephineBloggs

Sorry you're going through this. Have you tried accepting your negative side as well as your positive? Also trying not to care what others think of us helps. You can love me or leave me type attitude. I know easier said than done.

Hard to not care what people think when you feel their emotion and know what they think of you. I've always been empathetic and able to know what people think, I thought everyone is like this. Guess they're more numb to it than me. I used to be apathetic towards how people thought of me or felt, but ever since 2012 I just became so intune with it, it doesn't feel fair. But I guess that's what I get for living without any regards to the consequences of my actions.

[JosephineB]

Originally Posted by BJAsapace

Hard to not care what people think when you feel their emotion and know what they think of you. I've always been empathetic and able to know what people think, I thought everyone is like this. Guess they're more numb to it than me. I used to be apathetic towards how people thought of me or felt, but ever since 2012 I just became so intune with it, it doesn't feel fair. But I guess that's what I get for living without any regards to the consequences of my actions.

Why do you care what other people think about you?

Do you think your actions are true to yourself? Are they causing harm to others?

[BJAsapace]

Originally Posted by JosephineBloggs

Why do you care what other people think about you?

Do you think your actions are true to yourself? Are they causing harm to others?

No. But my thoughts don't align with who I want to be, they just bring me down, soooooo low to the point where I'd rather be dead than feel this way. I literally do nothing. I don't bother anyone.

[Dargor]

Many of those so-called 'spiritual' people will probably just say that you chose to have a mental illness and planned everything before you were born, just as they have done with me here countless times regarding my issues. But think about it from the bright side... If having such a toxic mindset is required to be spiritual, perhaps you're better off being unspiritual.

[BJAsapace]

Originally Posted by SlayerOfLight

Many of those so-called 'spiritual' people will probably just say that you chose to have a mental illness and planned everything before you were born, just as they have done with me here countless times regarding my issues. But think about it from the bright side... If having such a toxic mindset is required to be spiritual, perhaps you're better off being unspiritual.

If I planned this then I f*cked myself big time. If I planned this, what the f*ck was I thinking? Some divine plan.

How does one go back to the "unspiritual" state of mind? The spiritual side of things makes sense, it just makes it so much worse than it has to be in my opinion. I don't want to be conscious anymore. I'm like that guy in the matrix that wants to be plugged back in.

[Dargor]

Originally Posted by BJAsapace

How does one go back to the "unspiritual" state of mind?

Become an atheist and stop giving a sh#t about anything spiritual. Well, that's what I did. As a former religious nutjob, sometimes I'm still struggling with trying to convince myself that god is a man-made object. However, give it a few more years and I will definitely be a hunded percent convinced that there's nothing out there.

[M.Tesla]

Originally Posted by BJAsapace

If I planned this then I f*cked myself big time. If I planned this, what the f*ck was I thinking? Some divine plan.

How does one go back to the "unspiritual" state of mind? The spiritual side of things makes sense, it just makes it so much worse than it has to be in my opinion. I don't want to be conscious anymore. I'm like that guy in the matrix that wants to be plugged back in.

Spiritality is a broad topic. What are your spiritual interests, the ones that are preventing you from feeling normal?

I've been thru this. I had ( possibly still have) schizoaffective. When I was unmedicated, I saw some really crazy things, and heard things that were not really being said, and had delusional beliefs.

Anyway what I found that helped is energy work, and the right medication. Plus, it took about ten years after my disagnosis to find a sense of normalcy in my self and life. I am now symptom free, even from depression. I suggest for you to try learning healing techniques for the emotional, spiritual, mental, and body. Because some of it probably is a spiritual issue as well, not just a mental illness at least that's how it was for me.

You could learn reiki and do self healing sessions and see if it improves anything. You could learn quantum healing techniques. I find both of those to be effective, as well as EFT tapping sessions.

Dontbe too attached to the mental illness label , you're better off just being the best you possible.

For the voices, try to tell them to get out or if they're saying negative things about you that make feel bad, just be like "who cares?"

I hope some of this will help. :) As a side topic, last time I heard a clear voice, was about three years ago, I remember that day so we'll because I was going through some emotional purging, and while letting myself cry, I seemed to be attacked by a voice. It was a extremely loud demons voice screaming. So loud I got dizzy. But that was the end of it. I wanted to tell you this, because there is hope and a light at the end of suffering.. take care :)

[FallingLeaves]

I think there is this thought that 'being spiritual' means having certain desirable feelings, along with 'right' relationships with others.

These kinds of things are usually denied to those who are mentally ill... but at the same time it seems that what IS accessible to such people is a vast improvement over what the more 'normal' people are stuck with. In terms of true spirituality... because almost by definition you are going to be called mentally ill if you have certain shall we say experiences that others don't have and then try to share them... so the mentally lot is full of people who sense more...

That said, it still sucks that one doesn't get the 'right' feelings and it sucks even more that ones relationships with others are all screwed up. If I had a choice in the matter I suppose I would choose 'normalcy' as well and just ignore this lot... but I don't get that choice so I'm stuck exploring the unexplorable... I do find it somewhat compelling when I'm not ruminating over what I lost to get here...