Letting go ,,

[nifreit]

~~~

How do you let go of someone you love?

[FairyCrystal]

You don't have a choice when that happens which can make you feel powerless and desperate.
In essence you have to go through the 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.
Usually you go from one to the other, and oftentimes back to a first one as well. In the end it begins to get softer and then you know you're close to healing.
These stages you go through to process the change, try to have some sense of control, and get used to the new reality.

Time...
And depending on the how, why, what it can take more or less time. But it gets easier with each passing few days and weeks. Until at some point you find yourself smiling and laughing again. Then you've overcome the worst.
There's no escaping it, if you avoid the process of 5 stages it'll bite you in the rear end and you won't get to healing.
The only way is through, however much it s*x.

[Starman]

If you truly love them then you will be happy for them even though they are no longer with you.
You let go gradually, and know that “it is better to have loved and lost then not to have loved at all.“
The important thing is to not carry the sting of past relationships into future relationships. We grieve
in our own way and eventually we come to understand that love is not possessive. When the time
comes you have to let go to preserve your own sanity; to maintain your own mental health. It hurts,
but as the late Queen Elisabeth II said, “grief is the price we pay for love.”

[Native spirit]

I Would have to agree with that but the way I have always looked at it is to tell yourself, he or she wasn't right for you your true partner will come into your life at the right time,
when that happens and you look back you can see it for yourself.


Namaste

[A human Being]

Originally Posted by Starman

It hurts, but as the late Queen Elisabeth II said, “grief is the price we pay for love.”

Very reminiscent of something Adyashanti said, funnily enough, which always stuck with me: 'We wouldn't grieve if we didn't love'. It's one of those nuggets of wisdom that's both very obvious when you think about it, and yet also very profound.

[A human Being]

Originally Posted by Native spirit

I Would have to agree with that but the way I have always looked at it is to tell yourself, he or she wasn't right for you your true partner will come into your life at the right time,
when that happens and you look back you can see it for yourself.

That could be a useful way of looking at it, just so long as it's not a way of trying to rationalise away the pain you're feeling (because, as Fairy said, the only way out is through).

[Starman]

I believe every person that I have had a close relationship with contributed to my growth. I don’t say that the person was not right for me just because we did not stay together. The question I try to answer after a breakup is why was I attracted to this person in the first place? This way I can learn something about myself. The most important thing is to part as friends.

Friends often turn into lovers but lovers do not often go back to being friends. As far as letting go is concerned, we hold on with our heart in a love relationship, and it is at the heart level, deep within our ability to feel, that we have to gradually let go. It is a lesson in learning how to work with our own energy, our own essence, which is love. The love connection continues, on some level, long after the person you love has departed.

Again, in my opinion, it is important to not be bitter about it, and don‘t get lost in blaming yourself or the other person. No regrets, cry, grieve, which includes some anger, but then move on. Today, in many parts of the world, we live in a serial monogamy. Human beings generally go from one love relationship to another; it seems all of the people a person may date are like stepping stones giving experience to us for the one we may stay with for life.

If you love someone, let them go….if they love you they will come back…..
In other words, does your concept of freedom have allowance for the freedom of others ?

[Starman]

Originally Posted by A human Being

Adyashanti said, 'We wouldn't grieve if we didn't love'.

That is a very true statement but we can not learn how to have healthy fulfilling love relationships by avoiding love relationships. There are too many people in this world who have put a wall around their heart because of grief and pain suffered from a past relationship. It is a knee jerk reaction that a lot of people do to protect themselves from future grief and pain. Lots of people get pets, dogs and cats, because they give unconditional love. But putting a wall around our heart to avoid love relationships with other people, in my opinion, is not healthy.

[lostsoul13]

Turn the focus on the self- all those times you had your back’ the pain and torture of reincarnation… turmoil turning into your own best friend… until you realise there’s only the safest place for you to be your self hence after the delusions, psychosis and trippy affects of spending to much time as the self, your mind begins to wonder- seeing things that arnt there- letting go is the same as letting go of the trip- hold no beliefs that everything is true- just why is it happening to you… life’s the same and love… in essence we have to reincarnate over and over and deal with separation… one we understood we sent separate from the psychosis or love we will begin to fear union - being in the moment In hindsight love including- to learn from what’s illusions and what’s facts - here we will find it’s all REAL. Reality never stops.. we can implement this with letting go when we grasp we have already achieved our dreams via alternative reality’s and as such.. it’s all just a trip