Soul's rejection of an incarnation

[Lughente]

Hey people, I have a question about a serious matter which has haunted me for a long time. This has led me to make an account on this forum.

Is it possible for an individual soul to be aloof and disconnected due to an emotional rejection to its present incarnation?

I perceive that my own soul suffers from such a condition.

A little bit about myself. Since a young age I have been inclined towards spiritual topics, deeper philosophical questions, esotericism and paranormal phenomena. I have also displayed certain artistic and intellectual talents. I am an "old soul". However, not only have I suffered from an autistic spectrum disorder and much social maladjustment but have also had a hard time translating my talents into tangible projects. To tell you the truth, I have always hated this present incarnation. I find myself excessively impaired by my autistic condition which has often pushed me into dispair and depression. On top of that, I have always despised the culture into which I was born perceiving it as totally opposed to the nature of my soul. This aversion (in reality oikophobia) reaches an extreme pathological level. I have always perceived this present incarnation as torture despite being a positive person who values self-improvement and creativity.

Last year I had an encounter with two shamans at a spiritual retreat. One in particular told me that he perceived that my true being or essence wasn't correctly connected to my material body and that my spoken words didn't convey much meaning on a deeper level despite the fact that I speak with good pronunciation and grammar. This is how he explained it to me. Of course, many people would be annoyed by such a statement and, in all sincerity, I began to feel frustrated with this guy, but I knew deep down that what he was saying was true. I have always found myself isolated and disconnected from others, often almost invisible, as though I don't have much of a presence. Previously I had generally attributed this to my autistic condition, but since that encounter I began to ask myself whether there is a deeper abnormality at the level of the soul that may contribute to these problems.

I have come to theorize that my soul behaves in a way that is distant and disconnected because it feels a sense of rejection towards this present incarnation. If I am honest, I don't really want to be here and I don't think that I ever did. I suspect that I reluctantly accepted an incarnation that I didn't really want to accept for whatever reason. And for this reason my soul is traumatized and unable to connect fully to this reality!

[inavalan]

Sorry for your state of mind, and your condition.

You need to take a few steps back, relax, work on changing your limiting beliefs. I know that's hard, but it is doable.

We incarnate here to learn and grow. It isn't by choice, but by need, as we can't yet stay long on a higher plane, where thoughts instantaneously create reality.

Don't believe others (my opinion including), but learn to tap into your inner source of knowledge for all guidance and answers. Leave shamans alone ...

Good luck!

[Melahin]

From my perspective we do not really choose incarnations but are drawn into them. I once knew your feeling very well; I felt broken and out of place, like I had been forced into this. But all in all, my inner being is always there with me, loving me no matter what. It is always there for me to connect with. Maybe a soul retrieval is a good way for you to reconnect. Just a thought

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by Lughente

I have come to theorize that my soul behaves in a way that is distant and disconnected because it feels a sense of rejection towards this present incarnation. If I am honest, I don't really want to be here and I don't think that I ever did. I suspect that I reluctantly accepted an incarnation that I didn't really want to accept for whatever reason. And for this reason my soul is traumatized and unable to connect fully to this reality!

It sounds like you are projecting your own ideas and feelings about your incarnation onto your concept of your soul. How can the Soul be traumatised? This is a very strange idea.

I prefer to consider the Soul as consciousness, the detached witness observing the actions of the personality. If the Soul is unable to connect fully to this reality it is because the limitations of personality get in the way. Let go of personality identification and then the Soul can shine forth on this level in full Self-expression.

Peace

[Lughente]

Well, to tell you the truth, the shaman simply highlighted something that I already knew for myself through my own experience. After all, I live this reality every day and therefore understand it through my own knowledge.

What I perceive through my own being is that my soul is somewhat disconnected from this present material reality most likely due to some deeper spiritual trauma or its own emotional rejection of the life into which it has incarnated and that this same disconnection causes me various practical difficulties. I often feel great anxiety just by existing on this physical plane. I have a great deal of difficulty connecting with other people. I find it hard to complete creative projects. I find myself somewhat dysfunctional in many aspects of everyday life. I don't believe that all of this is simply due to a negative way of thinking or limiting beliefs (I have already stated that I always made an effort to cultivate positivity despite my problems). Rather I believe that it is much more to do with some kind of energetic abnormality at the level of the incarnated soul which I suspect was reluctant to come here. This was the whole point of my original post.

With all due respect, inavalan, I think that the influence of thoughts is vastly overestimated. The average person cannot even move a speck of dust with his own thoughts! This popular idea that mindset alone determines one's reality has been inflated into a cult of sorts. In reality many people are limited by real conditions that go beyond their own agency.

With regard to reincarnation, Melahin, I don't suppose that most of us have much choice in the matter despite the prevalent opinion to the contrary. I don't even believe that the situation is in any way benevolent either. I know that many people prefer to believe that this place is a "school" for lessons and spiritual evolution and whatnot and I understand why they would prefer to believe that, but the more I advance in this field the more I come to perceive this whole scenario as vicious and absurd. This place is more like a prison. I know that some people will say that this point of view is based on negativity and born out of immaturity and that we who see this place as a prison rather than a school are less spiritually enlightened or whatever, but I have come to consider the opposite, that those who perceive this planet as normal or educational are able to do so because they are closer in frequency to its dystopian collective consciousness whereas those of us who cannot stand this place and find it absurd are operating more often than not at a much higher frequency of consciousness, hence our aversion to this system whether it be conscious or subconscious. It is supposed that there is a multitude of other planets and life systems. I personally wish to leave or even escape this one when my present incarnation is over and go to another one. But I suspect that there are dark forces which seek to keep us here.

But the practical matter still remains with regard to the disconected state of my soul due to its possible rejection of this present incarnation. I have never been able to find much information about such a condition or any possible solution. I don't like this incarnation but I don't want to kill myself either because I have family members who would suffer too greatly in the event of my own self-disincarnation.

[Lughente]

Originally Posted by iamthat

It sounds like you are projecting your own ideas and feelings about your incarnation onto your concept of your soul. How can the Soul be traumatised? This is a very strange idea.

I prefer to consider the Soul as consciousness, the detached witness observing the actions of the personality. If the Soul is unable to connect fully to this reality it is because the limitations of personality get in the way. Let go of personality identification and then the Soul can shine forth on this level in full Self-expression.

Peace

I don't think that the idea of a traumatized soul or consciousness unit is strange at all. We know that psychological traumas exist. In fact, reincarnation research from scholars such as Ian Stevenson and those who have continued his line of research suggests that traumas can continue from one life to another.

In fact, autism itself which is a very real condition and not simply a projection of ideas and feelings might even be an outward expression of a particular soul's trauma or reluctance to incarnate if you really think about it. It is conceivable that autistic individuals retract into their own inner world due to a strong aversion towards the world or the life into which they have incarnated.

[FallingLeaves]

yeah i think I figured out they know exactly how badly they will be treated and move away from it as best they can...

prison lives are no fun... the only thing that makes it more palatable is when you get honest enough to face up to what you did to land yourself there... knowing things can be a wonderful balm but even that is denied to you if you insist on being vain and painting only beautiful pictures of yourself to represent yourself well to others.

But at the risk of exhibiting still more wishful thinking change can come from being unsatisfied in a way that won't happen if you are sitting around satisfied all the time...

[Lughente]

When I alluded to this particular reincarnation system as a possible prison (a line of thought well-known in Gnostic circles) I didn't mean a correctional facility based on justice and aimed at the rehabilitation of its inmates but rather a perverse and unjust exploitation system put in place by malevolent parasitic entities (so-called "archons") who wish to imprison us for their own selfish ends. This is an alternative theory of reincarnation which has seen a resurgence in recent years. I feel that it is worthy of serious consideration given the undeniably abject state of this planet.

You can talk about vanity and alleged sins and karmic debts all you want but I know who I really am and I won't let any self-appointed "guru" or "master" paint a distorted image of me or persuade me to believe that I somehow deserve this kind of incarnation. It is not about vanity or conceit. It is simply about knowing ourselves and not letting anybody else rob us of our power through unfounded perceptions. I don't care about ideas of karma for supposed past-life transgressions because I know my own nobility. These doctrines seem more like a disingenuous pretext to me. Well, you can keep coming back believing that you have to pay some supposed debts to graduate from school or finish a prison term if that's what you want to do, but I certainly intend to make a run for it when this present incarnation is over. I don't want to live in a world run by psychopaths, based on slavery and greed and steeped in all kinds of inhuman perversions and atrocities. Maybe some people are able to see that as a school but I can only perceive it as the height of insanity.

We could discuss these things all day and it might even be interesting but they are simply peripheral points. The original point is about the possibility that some souls may become aloof or disconnected or display some other maladaptive behavior as a result of an emotional rejection of a traumatic or otherwise unwanted incarnation. It doesn't matter whether one considers this world a school or a prison matrix for this question to be valid. I brought it up because this matter is something which affects me personally.

[inavalan]

Originally Posted by Lughente

... With all due respect, inavalan, I think that the influence of thoughts is vastly overestimated. The average person cannot even move a speck of dust with his own thoughts! This popular idea that mindset alone determines one's reality has been inflated into a cult of sorts. In reality many people are limited by real conditions that go beyond their own agency. ...

I understand, and you might be right.

Have you ever had a lucid dream? You have a regular dream, that seems like reality to you, with all the physical reality's limitations, when something out of order draws your attention, and you realize you're dreaming. Then, while in that same dream, but now lucid, you can do all kind of things you can't do while in the physical reality: flying, going through walls, making things appear or disappear, .... With no interruption, without waking up, you can now do things you couldn't do before, because you knew you couldn't.

Why wouldn't be the case with this reality too?

Have you ever had a false awakening from a dream, lucid or non-lucid? You're sure you aren't dreaming, although you still do.

[Phaelyn]

Originally Posted by Lughente

Is it possible for an individual soul to be aloof and disconnected due to an emotional rejection to its present incarnation?

Last year I had an encounter with two shamans at a spiritual retreat. One in particular told me that he perceived that my true being or essence wasn't correctly connected to my material body

Yes some souls don't merge well with the human body and brain
they have been given. But this was chosen before birth for a purpose.