Quote:
Originally Posted by green1
Hi Orion_Lion, it took me 5 years to feel in awe of the universe the way I do now. Hope this helps.
You may want to pay attention to this part:
|
Thanks, I appreciate you responding. What is the practice you're speaking of? I keep a few close friends, a few from my teenage years to some I've only met recently, or along the way.
I honestly believe that I am very alone/by myself in life. I don't have a partner, I don't have kids, my parents are kept at arm's length due to past trauma, and I've moved away from most friends, keep in contact every once here and there, online.
When I focus on other relationships besides the one with myself, I tend to get hurt, especially if it's a romantic one. Too many stressors come up, not many at all ever break through my walls. The rare few that do, they leave too, for some reason. I think I'm not meant to be with anyone. It sucks. I can find great joy in a romantic partner, but also when they leave, a great hurt. Such as what I'm facing now.
I don't really know how to escape humans , after all, I am one. I just wish this life was easier, I'd love to spend my time with someone that brings out the good in me. Just not a short time- really want long-term.
Seems all a dream now- to wake up from.
I know this isn't about an awe of the universe, it's more like, what I just said are the things that are holding me back from having that same awe.
I'm kinda lost now, lol. Take care.