Healing my home

[learning to heal]

Hi... I know I'm not very regular on these forums nowadays.. I wasn't sure where exactly to post this aswell...

My home is broken.
Has been for at least 12 years. We keep hoping it will get better. It is abusive psychologically, emotionally and has been physically before too.

I had the courage to leave in 2010, but I came back. All of 2011 I have been travelling and coming back home in between many times for 2-3 months.
I am back at home at the moment.
There is so much shouting, arguments, fights. My dad blackmails everyone. We are all hurting so much.
Everyone feels so helpless.

The situation is very serious and yet we seem to take it lightly because we are so used to it. But I know more then ever that it can't go on. It is killing all of us.
And I can't keep running away.
I am always so happy, healthy both in mind and body when I am away from this environment... But they are stuck, always in the same routine, same problems... I can't handle it. I can't watch it or bear it anymore. My little brother is what keeps me here. And watching him crumble has taken the beat from my heart. I'm 24 but I've been like a mother to him for more then half his life. He is 12 years old.

Well... I was hoping if anyone had suggestions about healing my home.
I'm not sure entirely what I am asking for. Just want some peace. This house is full of hectic or negative energy. It's not BAD/scary energy I think. There's not weird stuff happening etc. It's just always so heavy. No one is ever happy.. I'm exhausted. My dad's energy is the heaviest. It's everywhere I think.

Thank you so much for your help...

LTH

hi learning to heal,
I understand your situation, i have experienced similar tension in my household, mostly down to my step dad's aggression. He has thankfully left my mother now and we are healing the damage left behind. It is a difficult and challenging thing to go through but it sounds as though you are trying hard to make things better for yourself and your younger brother. I'm not sure what would be best to suggest but as i am training to be a crystal therapist and have found them to be of help in creating a peaceful atmosphere at home i will suggest perhaps placing lots of rose quartz around the house. This is easily obtainable and cheap to buy, providing your family have no objections to it being in their living space. You could always hide it under sofas and behind things! I hope things improve for you, have you tried talking to your parents about how it makes you feel to be at home and why you leave so frequently? I know that sounds like quite an obvious thing to point out but it really does help as i have found that we can often second guess that others will see how we suffer when in fact after talking to them about it they hadn't a clue.

Learning To Heal...I cast what is called a Horary Astrology chart in an effort to assist you. These are my findings:

Learning To Heal is represented by the 1st house with Aquarius Rising...there are three planetary rulers that describe you, with the aspects describing your circumstances:

Neptune retrograde in Aquarius...Saturn in Libra, 8th house...and Uranus retrograde in Aries, 2nd house.

Neptune is opposed by the Sun, an indication of challenges that you find difficult to understand involving your father, the aspect describing him as unfortunate, irresponsible, and domineering. Astrologer Lynn Koiner has this to say about retrograde Neptune (I have deleted material that wasn't relevant):
"Neptune rules denial! When Neptune turns retrograde, our feelings are more astute at picking up and perceiving the illusive...As one’s perceptions become more acute, it is important to listen more, listen to the “inner voice,” so that you can see more of what is going on around you. It is essential that you talk about what you are feeling, sensing or absorbing because Neptune retrograde can produce a type of psychic overload for very sensitive people. Heightened sensitivity can be both an asset and a liability. It is important that you avoid drugs, chemicals and stimulants. Protect yourself by refraining from associating with addictive personalities, psychic attractions, and overwhelming people who drain your energies. Wearing black tourmaline can funnel off negative energy and psychic attack. If you feel a little paranoid during the retrograde period, it may be that you are picking up too much from your external environment."

The second planet that describes you is Saturn, in square to Mars in Cancer, an indication of frustration and having to deal with tempers of other people that could undermine your health unless corrective steps are taken, especially as Mars occupies the 6th house of health. Look to 9th house Moon in Scorpio that trines Mars for a way out...the 9th rules your personal beliefs, superconscious forces, religion and religious organizations...the Moon rules women...perhaps a prayer group would be of benefit.

The third planet that describes you is Uranus in the 2nd house, in square to Pluto in Capricorn, energy that functions on a deep psychological level to keep you moving and growing by revamping your sense of values. As Uranus is retrograde, you are delving within your psyche in an effort to clear away the detritus that prevents forward movement...you will come away from this situation with a new value system.

cool i am a healer

[Sapphirez]

sorry your home and family is so disharmonious.. there are things I would recommend like eft, but well there is only so much work you can do on yourself when the other person isn't doing a thing to help themselves or you.. He has to recognize his wronging and decide to help himself.. eft would be great, I think for all the ill psychic build-up type stuff.. it would help you too for sure, I just mean it'll be harder to get him to make any kind of effort.
maybe you can try communicating with him in different ways so you can find one where he is most amiable and open.. it's such a shame when people are blinded by themselves.

that's a really cool interpretation Moggy!

[Xan]

learning to heal... Sometimes in order to really heal we have to leave the situation that is hurting us... and stay away.

You could still have contact with your little brother and give him your support... let him know it's not his fault, for one thing, and that you always love and appreciate him.

You know what they say, if someone is drowning it doesn't help them to drown along with them. As you become free from your broken family you can help him more.


blessings
Xan