Enlightenment, attachment and entanglement

[RedEmbers]

Absolutely every relationship in my life either improves or fades away when I am improving the relationship that I have with my inner most self.
So, every love relationship I have ever had has improved my inner relationship with myself by offering me feedback on where I am resonating in self love from within.

When I improve my relationship with myself... every relationship be it with other people or the relationship with my world in general, all improve.

I have experienced many miracles by confronting, accepting and loving all aspects of myself, shadow and light as reflected within my relationships with others.

Non attachment in this sense, for me, only means non attachment to outcomes as each relationship has a journey of its own, each relationship a unique one.

[In Flux]

>> Absolutely every relationship in my life either improves or fades away when I am improving the relationship that I have with my inner most self.

Yes, that's really important. The mistake I made for a long time was that I had a particular understanding of "loving yourself" that made no sense to me. I understood it as stepping outside of myself, seeing myself from the outside, and feeling love towards that. This way of splitting yourself into two people seemed weird to me (though I know it might work and make sense for other people). However, I then learned how to create a sphere of wellbeing around me (a loving sphere you could say), and this worked for me. I could say I improved my relationship with myself in this way, by creating a sphere in which I enjoy my own company.

[Altair]

Obviously, being alone is not desirable. I mean, no meaningful social support, health support and sexual satisfaction. Friends, pets, and random sexual escapades are not substitutes. Hiding behind ''detachment and free of desire'' goal seems more of a tough boy / tough girl act.

[Redchic12]

Altair you state……”Obviously, being alone is not desirable”

Actually I find it very desirable! Maybe it’s a male perspective and I mine is from the female perspective. I have plenty of social support and don’t have any health problems but the support is there if I need it and there is absolutely no need for any kind of substitutes

You mention hiding behind “free of detachment and free of desires” goal is a tough persons act.

Perhaps for some but not all. I have absolutely no desires whatsoever in this material world and it’s certainly not an act. It’s just something that happened naturally. Maybe cos I can look back on my life and say, I have done everything that I wanted to do, been everywhere I wanted to go and achieved everything I wanted to achieve.

Please don’t think I am doing a bragging number cos I’m not. I’ve just always been one of those “go get” persons and never really thought about it, I just did it.

Here is an interesting statistic from the latest research on relationships.

The happiest males in the world are those that are married.
The happiest women in the world are those that are single.

So it looks like we are both kinda right ha

[hazada guess]

Some people are meant to have relationships, others just aren't.

When I was younger, all I craved was a partner, but it always went wrong. It wasn't just me, I put on my best behavior doing everything to please, but it never worked out .Now I'm old the last thing I want is a partner, preferring my own company.
Looking back on my life, I now realize that a partner would have held me back and it was for the best in the end. I have many friends now for companionship in times of need, that is the main thing.
Everyone is different and if you were meant to have a relationship, it will happen.

[Altair]

Originally Posted by hazada guess

Some people are meant to have relationships, others just aren't.

Nothing is meant to be.. it's just circumstances, actions and consequences. The ''it's meant to be'' is an afterthought, a rationalization of the mind.

[hazada guess]

Originally Posted by Altair

Nothing is meant to be.. it's just circumstances, actions and consequences. The ''it's meant to be'' is an afterthought, a rationalization of the mind.

I don't believe in circumstances. Actions and Consequences are all pre-determined .(IMO).

[In Flux]

@RedChic12 I think desire for intimacy plays a big role. The desire for intimate relations often translates to the wish for a romantic partner. How do you see this? Can you describe what role the desire for intimacy has in your life, and how intimacy is different between friends and between lovers for you?

[Redchic12]

HAZADA you state: Looking back on my life, I now realize that a partner would have held me back.

Yes I have found the exact same thing.

I have done so much more with my life that has helped me grow and evolve especially spiritually, being single.

[Redchic12]

Just thought of something a lovely Buddhist monk once said:

There is married suffering and there is single suffering. You don’t get out of suffering.

I feel single suffering is much better for me cos there is a lot less of it and easier to deal with.

Obviously there are happy times as well.