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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #1  
Old 15-12-2022, 05:03 AM
energy4ever energy4ever is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2022
Posts: 54
 
his family meant to break us apart?

Please, I am looking for your help, guidance. I'm with someone and he has a crazy family. Not everyone, thank the lord, but the crazy ones in his family takes so much energy from everyone else. When one thing is done with, another shows up. I've asked around if this is normal. With my ex it was never like this. It was not that the women in his family did everything, planned everything. If I am to tell him that I think he will likely misunderstand and think I still want my ex back and I don't. It isn't like that. When I have told others about his family's drama they say it too, that it is not normal, and feel sorry for me. They don't want me mixed up in it and get frustrated with him. Is this a sign we should not continue our relationship? Or time to grow? I think he has to do the growing then and I am so frustrated at this point because it points to him instead ruining this relationship, only he does not see it that way. He says he won't turn his back on them and I can't live with them. He suggests we rarely see them then as a couple, family, but that we have to on big occasions and that I have to put on a fake smile. The crazy ones say bad things of kids (mine included!) that are not true. I am not saying kids are perfect. This is a big red flag to me. I've told him how serious I think this is and unacceptable when now children are being talked about that way, my ex would go crazy if hearing about it, but he only says everyone knows it isn't true, that the children are well behaved and charming, he loves them, he's always good to them, his own, not his own, doesn't matter. The women handle everything in the family, but I am not that kind of a woman, and I don't want to become one, and they all act as if that is peculiar. I wonder if they all come straight from the medieavel times. They are even around my age and act like that. I don't know where they came from. I have been dragged into it before without a clue as to why and did so at first to be polite. When I understood what it was all about I did so too late. I have expressed that I don't want to anymore. That they should go to him instead as this is his family stuff. I have been told that we have to work it out, that we have that kind of relationship but I don't agree. Is it not two people that get to decide what kind of relationship they have? Only one? One making the rules? It is a crazy woman thinking she has a kind of relationship with me she don't have. This is imposed on me. I only have this crazy stuff in my life because of the man I have fallen in love with and he don't take care of it. I chose my (women) friends. I have not chosen this crazy woman in my life. I never would have. The men try to say it is women stuff and have it comfortable outside this war zone. I want out of it. I am fairly young and am not used to men being this passive where I come from, my ex wasn't, or the women being that crazy. I never had a problem with my ex's family, the women in it. I have told him before and the other men that I am fed up by it and they say they understand but still allow it to happen and say it ain't their fault. He says he is fed up for me blaming him for it. I have my own family to care for and am very busy with my own life, my own friends, me parenting, most important, and my other obligations, the ex is no problem. He does not think what was said about the children are serious enough to terminate the relationships in his family but I do not want some sick crazy woman around the kids. He says I overreact. He says I have been very clear on what I think and should leave it at that. Do I have to leave him or threaten to? We barely talk now because of it. If he leaves me over this he can keep on walking. It is not only him that I see as too passive of a man but other men in the family too. In my ex's family it was not like that. I am so close to bringing up the ex card with him but as he has been jealous in the past I haven't as I think it might make things worse. That it will make my ex look better than he. I think had they been normal men about this this crazy women stuff would not have happened, I would have been left alone. I can't function like this. Please, it's the year 2022, soon into 2023. They treat the men like babies. What's wrong with his family?

Last edited by energy4ever : 15-12-2022 at 06:47 AM.
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  #2  
Old 15-12-2022, 07:42 AM
astralsuzy astralsuzy is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 4,230
 
It sounds too hard to try and make the relationship work. If he does not support you then it might be better to find someone else. A lot of relationships fail because of family problems.
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  #3  
Old 15-12-2022, 11:58 AM
Redchic12 Redchic12 is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2022
Posts: 2,692
 
Re Energyforever

Yep ya deserve more than that gal.

When I went thru something similar in my younger years and discussed it with a very wise woman, she said to me

Why is he doing it to you?
COS YOUR LETTING HIM!

So I had a deep down look at myself and when I figured out WHY, and took the relevant steps. Bingo!!! My life changed.
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  #4  
Old 15-12-2022, 05:42 PM
energy4ever energy4ever is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2022
Posts: 54
 
Thanks you guys! If we're no more because of this and if the day comes he will find someone new he will face the same problem. He could meet an angel and the angel will be fed up with it. I only hope he gets that. I'm going to make clear once and for all and block the crazy ones so they got no choice but go through him and then he will see how crazy they are. Maybe that will teach them all.
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  #5  
Old 16-12-2022, 05:16 AM
Redchic12 Redchic12 is offline
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Good idea!!!
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  #6  
Old 16-12-2022, 03:38 PM
energy4ever energy4ever is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2022
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I feel better already! Thanks!
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  #7  
Old 24-12-2022, 09:55 PM
energy4ever energy4ever is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2022
Posts: 54
 
The crazy woman is behaving now. Insecure when it came to the men? They were ready for it. She was used to dominating in secluded women-groups. Manipulator. My door will continue to be closed. Freedom.
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