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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #71  
Old 30-12-2022, 09:09 AM
Redchic12 Redchic12 is offline
Master
Join Date: Oct 2022
Posts: 2,692
 
Re friendship

Another valuable thing I learnt about making friends (after years of anguish) is that the people you meet who are wanting a friendship with you QUICKLY ie wanting to do things with you and calling you regularly and saying things like oh I am so glad I met you etc. I have learnt that these are the ones that turn out badly eventually.

The people who take their time to get to you know you ie NOT calling or texting you all the time and NOT popping around in to see you are the people who turn out the best friends.

Also, anyone who tells you their problems and personal stuff on the first day they meet you RUN LIKE HECK!!!!! Because they are generally the ones that will give you the most grief.

The secret is to yes, definitely give people a chance but you MUST let them in to your life VERY VERY SLOWLY and at your pace not theirs and don’t trust people until they have earned that trust. That may take years and if so, so be it.

The two wonderful friends I’ve had for 20 years, they came into my life a couple of years after the nightmare with that vicious woman who nearly destroyed my life and career. So imagine if I had decided to never trust again, I would have cut myself off from enjoying a friendship with two beautiful souls.

SLOWLY SLOWLY SLOWLY is the answer to finding out the true character of a person and NEVER talking about your personal/family secrets for quite sometime. That way you will prevent a lot of heartache and in the process, hopefully find a precious little gem as I did.

All of the above I learnt from my own experiences. I hope it’s helpful.
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  #72  
Old 30-12-2022, 09:32 AM
AngelBlue AngelBlue is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2022
Posts: 5,066
 
Hi RED ... And that is SO true...
A case in point that I learnt ...

Where I used to live the old lady next door ( joined on semi ) died.
A couple moved in and I barely saw them . Over a period of a few months myself and the lady of the house got to know each other very slowly , "over the hedge" in our back gardens if we happened to be out hanging washing at same time .
We became very good friends and her family could not have been lovelier.
Eventually they moved away . Both families were gutted and our joint kids were distraught .
So in moved new neighbours. A couple with no kids .
Within HOURS of them moving in the woman was knocking on my door to "introduce " herself clutching a "gift " of cans of beers which she expected us to open and drink together .
Initially I thought this was nice as she was making an "effort" to be friendly .
But it soon became a habit that she kept turning up after she had finished work , knocking on my door with 8 cans of beer expecting we could party . This was around about 5pm tea time. Bearing in mind I had several children all in primary school and from them being home from school until bedtime was my busiest time of day.
So I would politely take a can, have one sip , then let her sit there drinking the lot while I made my children's tea and got on with it.
Apart from that I had no issues with her , she had a responsible job , and was always friendly .
But things got worse , and one day she told me what she wanted to do with one of my son's. He was 12 .
Can you even imagine !!
Talk about feeling physically sick.

I don't have proper friends where I live now. I am an introvert, an Empath, and because I had my shop I never had time anyway...
The couple that I am friends with in my street are really nice people and I talk to them still on WhatsApp or text but I don't have anyone to my house .
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  #73  
Old 31-12-2022, 12:51 AM
Cattems Cattems is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2022
Posts: 213
 
Good advice Redchic. You had to learn the hard way, but learn you did!
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