Hi Sweetie!

[loopylucid]

Even if this didnt work out, the way it ended was a poetical gem, words seem to last a lifetime!

[FallingLeaves]

thank you all for your nice words...
---------------------------------------
he only wishes it was over
that he could get over her
sigh
---------------------------------------
it doesn't matter anyway
there is nothing much left of his life
he works
he eats
he sleeps ( a lot)
he's not really interested
that much
even in meditating
any more.
---------------------------------------
even if this had worked out
it would be meaningless
given where he is at
with his own life
---------------------------------------
wishes things could be better
sometimes
but they never do get better
one hardship after another
and no rest for the weary...

[FallingLeaves]

its not just her
its the whole world really

he looks at all the things he was made to do
and all the things that were done to him

it has been very hard on him
with very little respite

He has just reached a point
where he no longer feels like
pretending
he is happy about any of this
just to keep others from judging him badly
and punishing him harshly
yet again

because he won't toe the line
and pretend to be 'happy'.
-----------------------------------------------
not that anything can be done
now
about any of it

neither she
nor any of the others
can change a jit
of what they do

he just doesn't feel like juggling
stupid balls
high in the air
any more

and instead feels like calling it what it is

[FallingLeaves]

well
he got tired
of feeling
sorry
for himself

even though
it was such fun!

He can't eat cookies all day long I guess.

so when he picked the meditation
up
off the floor
where he had dropped it

he immediately found something new.

Guess he should know by now
best way to progress
is just to quit!

never ceases to amaze him though.
----------------------------------------
as far as her
he's just trying to not listen
to her speak
for the moment

the realization
that led to his latest 'breakdown'
being just so awful

he can't even find words
to describe it.

[FallingLeaves]

hi sweetie

pizza night, yay!

waves!

[FallingLeaves]

hi sweetie

having fun praying

it is getting to be quite a riot

but I still have to do it very slowly

lol

[FallingLeaves]

woke up on the wrong side of the bed
feeling awful
yelling at people

doesn't know why he should go on
with this prayer stuff
feels almost
as if it is somehow wrong

knows
he is being punished
anywho

and doesn't really have a prayer
of getting anywhere
anyway

it was all just
another elaborate scam
and its never getting better
not ever

would cry
but what is the point?

[Nowayout]

Who is he who is being punished, anyhow?
( so depressing)

Pray if it helps.

If not, meditiate.

Do both, Ohmmm.

Find sweet bilss...


Lord have mercy, Lord have mercy, Lord have mercy!

[FallingLeaves]

some of us
get very little sweets....

life being one
nearly impossible moment
after another
---------------------------------------
he used to wonder
how she was so dead on accurate
in her observations

then it occurred to him
he's got quite enough
to deal with
in his own life

without trying to figure out
what is going on with her
still more

but he likes it
it is kinda homey...

[Nowayout]

And here we have it from her mouth???

She likes it kinda horney?

Home is where the heart is sweety.

Do you not understand her?

Open wide, let her in.