Introverted Boyfriend

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a little over a year now, but there is still one thing that concerns me and that is the fact that he is very introverted. It's just as a teenager I use to be very introverted myself and wanted nothing to do with anyone to the point that it worried my parents and the teachers at my school to the point that they forced me to socialize. I can clearly remember in high school one day sitting alone in the cafeteria during lunch as I usually did and having no problem with it until a teacher in the cafeteria forced me to sit with some other students which I didn't want to do. Because of this now as an adult I am more outgoing and see those who are introverted as kind of stupid despite at a time being introverted myself. Sometimes I worry since my boyfriend is an introvert that he must be stupid. However, when he does open up it turns out he is really creative and seems to just have a lot on his mind and also he has a sense of humor, which I wish I kind of had because I can be too serious at times. I've been looking up information on introverts and it says their brain is wired differently from extroverts where they feel overwhelmed by social interaction and need time to themselves to recharge. I'm not entirely sure this a good thing though. Are introverts actually stupid or is it actually okay to be an introvert?

[LindzeeTheLost]

[quote=BunnyJen90]I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a little over a year now, but there is still one thing that concerns me and that is the fact that he is very introverted. It's just as a teenager I use to be very introverted myself a


Hi,

I'm a "seasonal introvert". Basically I go through seasons where I wanna be alone, and kept to myself, and there are seasons where I wanna go talk to random strangers.

Being an introvert is just simply getting your social "recharge" by being alone. It has nothing to do with being stupid. Einstein, Bill Gates, Elon Musk, some of the smartest people to live, and they are all introverted.

Some people grow out of it, as you and I have. Some, may never grow out of it. But that's okay. Humans are wired to have other human contact on some level, just some need more than others. At some point, we all want to spend some quiet time to gather our thoughts, process things, or just enjoy life in general without chaotic distractions.

Cheers,
Lindzee

Who on earth told you that an introvert is stupid?

Don't believe everything you're told!

I'd say of the few I've had dealings with it isn't that they're overwhelmed by social interaction. It's that they don't need it so, forced to engage, it's more of a nuisance to which they're unaccustomed so they don't respond well. Many artistic people are introvert.
.

[Native spirit]

please keep Quotes no longer than two or three lines



Namaste

[Mused]

Stupid?...
Based on what you said i find it hard to believe youre an actual adult

[NoOne]

Run!

Not you, him...

[Pinkish]

I find it incredibly insulting and sad that you call someone you are in a relationship with stupid. To talk about him like this is very disrespectful. You don't like that he is an introvert? Tough, deal with it or end the relationship. The way I see it is he better of. Shame on you woman.

[Gem]

During my studies it was always put forward that children should be 'stimulated', but I always wondered if that was necessarily right. Now days I walk in the world and notice stimulation everywhere, I don't want or need it, and it just seems like unnecessary noise to me. I just wonder if all that forced stimulation early on results in people producing a ton of stimulus later themselves. I become introverted because there is so much noise 'out there'. I'm big brain, but admittedly, people wear me out, so I feel much better with limited socialising.

[WeiYing]

How do you define "stupid"? Surely, introvert =/= stupid. Most people would say that a person is stupid if they don't know that, for instance, 2+2=4.

I'm the opposite of you: I used to be more outgoing, but now i identify as an introvert. i basically have no time/energy for small talk or stuff, and i see the majority of people as sheeple - the majority dresses the same, does the same things, or goes to the same places. I find all this boring. However, even if I see the majority as being a copy of someone else, I don't think they're stupid, just that they probably lack imagination or maybe they're engulfed in everyday worries to think of other ways of doing things.

I wonder why are you still with your BF if you think he's stupid? Personally, I couldn't be with someone whose IQ I consider to be lower than mine. One of my bad traits is that at times I see myself as "better than thou" and this makes me want even less human interaction. Not to mention that I think animals are better company than the majority of humans.

In any case, yes. As an introvert, I get TIRED after a few hours of speaking to/spending time with random people, including family members -my fiance is not included because we live together for 20 years now.

Perhaps you should talk to him about this. It sounds like you haven't spoken to him about it, even though you try to understand him/introverts. Maybe breaking up with him would be better for you, if you really can't accept an introvert in your life, or if you don't feel stimulated enough. This is fine to accept or even say.

He could be depressed and not even know it. i suffer from depression too, and i recently started some medication that improved my mental state. I also feel more willing to meet people.

In any case, please don't say anymore that your BF is stupid because he's an introvert. This makes you look like a bad person. And from the replies you got so far, everyone seems to believe you're a bad person, and nobody likes a bad person.

One more thing, as an introvert, I'd prefer being told "look, I'm not really happy with our relationship because you don't like going out/being with others, we should break up," than being thought of as "stupid". It's honesty>insults in a way.

Good luck to you.

Maybe everyone is right and I should break up with him since I question his intelligence since he's introverted. But still it would be very hard for me especially since I doubt I could find another guy. It isn't that there aren't other guys it's just I know it would take time to find another guy and build a relationship with him and honestly I feel I don't have much time especially if I want to eventually have a kid. I already have it planned I'm definitely not having a kid after 40 and I'm already 30 and will be 31 next month. For one I don't want to be mistaken for my kids grandmother second I really want a happy healthy child and I have read that as you get older your chance of having a kid with a disability increases and I definitely don't want a kid with a disability. Anyway maybe I'm better off single and with no kids though. Besides being in a relationship and having a kid on top of that is a ton of responsibility and I feel now that I have moved out I am just learning to be responsible. Also I feel now is the time to really focus on getting some sort of career in graphic design like I studied in college and being in a relationship and eventually having a kid would distract me from that. Still I kind of worry what people will think about me if I never marry and have a kid. In my country there is so much pressure for people my age to marry and have kids. I'm worried people will look at me as stupid if I don't marry and have no kids. But at the same time some of the most successful people in my family had no kids. I have an older sister who has no kids and she is now working in the medical field. I really think part of the reason she is so successful is that she has no kids. Besides she apparently doesn't have the patience for kids anyway since she can lose her patience with our nieces and nephews. I think before I do decide rather or not to break up with my boyfriend I will talk to my neighbor who has never married or had any kids though she has had a couple of boyfriends. Maybe she can give me some advice.