Married but no love left

Hello Rue11.

Been there, after nine years. Not married, no kids, but still. I've been the kid of people who didn't love each other anymore (Well, hated each other).

You think divorce is something your children will have to bear, to endure. I'm telling you, you'll free them. Show them there's no reason to stay with someone you don't love anymore. Show them nothing forces you to do anything you do not want to in life. Show them you're not playing mommy and daddy !

Trust me when I tell you, divorce. You don't know how far it can go otherwise.

You think you're not capable of living by yourself. You don't look down on some of those women you know, some of 'em you may call your friends, but you couldn't do that. Allow yourself to be capable of it. You have it in you.

Also, I'm no psychic or whatever, but the simple fact that the feeling is mutual is a good omen for a separation in good terms. Talking it through, like real adults. Really good and a lot less hard on children that you'd imagine. It can actually be a relief on them, they're a ton more perceptive than we imagine as adults.

Anyway, be well

[Altair]

Sounds like someone I know. She's in the process of divorce, because ''no more love, but just a feeling of friendship..'' The interesting bit is he became happier during their separation, then they saw each other again and his newfound happiness made her got attracted to him again.. LOL. Except he said it was over now. Good call IMO. People so easily get lured into these temptations.

I do pity people that get stuck with someone else. It's called being imprisoned..

@Rue11,

Your children can feel how you and your husband feel for each other, and will start to believe it's the natural way to be between beings and reproduce what your couple is going through in their other relationships.

It is something to consider in the next decision your couple will take for the good of your children.

Regards

I did not think of the perspective that children see and learn from the parents how to have a marriage/relationship, how to fight,good of you who saw that, it made me realize some stuff myself. If nothing will be done about it the kids will bring that unhealthy ways into their own relationships and if allowed to exist there their children in return will see this and think o this is the way to communicate! and on and on it goes...a way for it to thrive is that one feels loyalty and wish to protect the family unit and can be afraid to tell someone "on the outside" what is going on, that it is only the two in the marriage to sort this out themselves.

Originally Posted by Native spirit

I would agree with a searcher its not a healthy enviroment for yourself or your kids.
you need to sit down with your partner and talk,
when you have kids your Focus changes to them rather than to you and your partner,


Namaste

Kids can give parents a purpose if they take their nurturing responsibility seriously. It's a joint effort.

[GlitterRose]

I have to agree with inavalan on this.

Far better for children to grow up in a loving home, where the adults care for each other.

If you think they won't pick up on the truth of the situation because you pretend in front of them, children are way more perceptive than you realize.