How to win over an female Aries

[Silver]

I don't know her, but I did date an aries fellow and it was serious for a while, but if you really want to date around, don't hide that from her. Tell her straight. Make sure she hears you. My aries fellow didn't take long to 'heal' from the break up and wanted to have his cake and eat it too, so don't worry about hurting feelings as much as making sure you get the message you feel you want and need to and make it register. I think that applies to everybody not just aries. They need to know the truth of what's in your heart and mind about being exclusive or not.

shes an aries, she just thinks too much. just lighten the moods with jokes and tell her to lighten up, this is coming from an aries female

thanks guys.

Mahakali, i do do this but she takes some of the jokes serious. She is an aspiring model and she knows she is hot stuff but when i get through that wall she is a total sweet heart and thats why i liked her alot. I always told her to lighten up or show me her real side and she gets defensive. Anyway i really dont think Gemini's and Aries are compatible. Were too much a free spirit and it seemed like she wanted to control me too much. Not cool!

After taking my sis to her work last Friday for food she was distant and shady and didnt even hug me good bye. she just waved like i was a normal guest when she spent the night at my house 2 days before.....!!! So i felt that was disrespectful and told her later that night that i didnt feel we were on the same page but i wish her the best for she is a great person. she replied back really short "wish you the best". havent heard from her since not that im waiting for it but i have a feeling she may want answeres. she just being too proud or... you tell me Mahakali? think she just saying oh well, on to the next... ive read thats how many aries women are.

I can't say much about an Aries female, since I'm a Sagittarius but, as a female in general, I will say that both of you need to remember that, for a relationship to work, there has to be compromise on both sides. It's not about one person trying to control or manipulate the other, or neither wanting to change. If you aren't willing to meet in the middle then it probably won't get far....
Instead of the constant back and forth, maybe the two of you need to just sit down and have an honest conversation about what each of you wants, and where you see the relationship going, even though it is still in its very early stages!
I am currently in a relationship with the love of my life, and we have been dating for almost 6 months now. In that time, he has shown me the true meaning of love, and compromise. As a Sagittarius, trust me, I am a very impatient, full-speed-ahead, kind of gal! He, on the other hand, is a very patient, calm, level-headed Virgo....But we are both slowly adjusting to each other, and I am learning that it's not always about what I want...it's about him being happy, too. Because when he's happy, I'm happy....when he's miserable, I'm miserable, too....LOL - one of the phrases he's fond of telling me is: "We don't have to cram a lifetime into one day!" His next fave is "Relax and breathe."
Hope that gives some insight...don't give up hope!

Thanks Sesheta,

I have tried being patient and we did talk a bit about where its going and just said that we like each other and just want to take it slow and see but at the same time she has days where she is amazing, sweet, affectionate and then other days where i will barely get a hug hello and she is real short tempered and controlling. i dont tolerate control so i put my foot down which agrivates her more. i truly feel she is puting up a front and guarding herself. why after a month of dating she still doing this? i dont know. Ive told her this and try to communicate with her but when we arent together she is HORRIBLE at communication. She doesnt like to talk on the phone so thats rare and barely texts and when she does its like 2 words.

I just decided that if this is how she is i dont want it and obviously when i told her Friday that i didnt feel we were on the same page all i get is a short response of "wish you the best". She obviously doesnt really care or is being proud and stubborn. i have a feeling in my gut that ill hear from her very soon but for now yes i have given up hope. If we are to date again she has to get it together and let her guard down. Its a bit of a bummer cause i really did like her but i care more about my wellbeing more! oh and one more thing, i sorta feel like she was using me. sure she is only a waitress but in the month we were seeing each other she was able to afford a quick getaway to Arizona and this past weekend to LA? She makes it seem like she hardly has money so i have paid for everything and buy here little gifts here and there. She has not once made any attempt or effort to pay. I dont mind paying at first but atleast make the effort.... I kinda think she is a gold digging playa but when she opens up and i see the real her where perfect.

Drew, you are coming to this relationship with just a little more awareness than she is. It is clear from your descriptions that she is still struggling with the image of herself not just in her mind but in the minds of everyone else as well. It is plain as day that being affectionate towards you while at work, she feels, would tarnish the professional image she is trying to maintain. And to be honest, you are being just a little unfair towards her for not being understanding and sensitive to her different contexts and how she tries to be different in different contexts. The issue isn't that she is an Aries. The issue is that she has so many different self images, one for each context. It doesn't sound like she really knows who she is or wants to be independent of contexts. So when you come into her life as a thread that spans between multiple contexts, not only are you forcing her to confront her compartmentalisation, your are also literally threatening the self-identity she has so carefully set up for herself, likely to manage past trauma.

It's not you, drew, any serious relationship will threaten her in this way. And it's not her being an Aries, she is compensating for low self esteem and likely some past trauma. She doesn't want you to be her healer, she doesn't trust you yet. She has to know it's safe to open up, and she has to feel like your existence in her life isn't going to destroy her. If you want to be a healing force in her life then you have to become sensitive to when she shuts down and becomes distant and see what boundary of hers was crossed THAT SHE IS NOT EVEN AWARE OF HAVING. She doesn't know this is going on, she is just unconsciously reacting to a threat she barely understands. You gotta decide if you can be in a relationship with her and be able to cater to her needs. You have to be aware FOR HER. And through you becoming more aware and sensitive she will slowly become more aware as well. But first you have to learn her boundaries when she doesn't even know what they are.

She is hurt deep down, not intentionally being this way, she doesn't know how to handle her pain, so she pushes the trigger (you) away. Have compassion for her, not judgment. She is just hurting inside and doesn't understand how to begin understanding her own condition. You can't blame her for this, but you can decide you don't want to live with it.

WOW TOPOLOGY! That totally hit it perfectly! i mean PERFECTLY! ive known all of this but its soo hard to explain especially coming from me but you understand it. I have thought of this and tried to be patient but ive been through a similar situation with my ex and it was a battle for 3 years and messed me up as a whole. I would love to be there for the new girl but she is only 22 also and im 30. although she isnt a party animal just like you say she is on the search for her and this image and ive heard her say things like this.

Bout a week ago she told me she distanced from everyone cause she feels lost but didnt want us to stop. As for her image at work i guess i understand that too but thing that got me was all the other times i was there she was close to me and affectionate. not that i expect that at work but a little something since we been seeing each other over a month. guess you had to be there. it was very ackward and i had spoken so highly of her to my sister and when my sister finally meets her it was like "ugh you sure you guys are dating cause she dont act that way?"

it was hit or miss. one day she was perfect and opened up to me but then she would shut down. When first dating someone its supposed to be sparks and the newness but with this changes she portrayed it made things start to feel old and stale. i was patient when she would not contact or shut down but i aint getting any younger. i know what i want and i know what i dont. If she was to call me sometime soon and explain all of this and ask to start over i may but im not going to try to make amends when she is the one that has to figure things out. And perhaps this was just bad timing for us to meet. Perhaps she needs to be alone at this point.

I know she liked me and especially the fact i may have gotten her brother thats been out of work for a year a job, she cried to me thanking me and oh man she is not a crier. I dunno, i still feel a bit used though cause she never offered or made attempts to do anything for me. i dont give and expect back but a little something ya know? i dunno, i guess i do still like this girl but ive already called it off and havent heard from her anyway.

[Miss Hepburn]

I came into this too late I see - I could have told you TONS about Aries women!!!!

Ah, the babies of the Zodiac - simple yet complicated.
Curious and nosy, yet secretive.
They have the gift of making you feel special - the most special - like babies tho they can be takers - sponges for affection and oyvay do they love compliments.

They can twinkle at you from across a room as sweet as a baby's smile.
They are (can be) very sexual - again the receivers -but in the receptvity are truly the givers.

That's the short version - all are different bec of different apects, of course.

(Typical Aries female behavior: to pull the groom aside and make him tell you you were the one that got away and he can never forget how specal you were to him -as she tries to have a quicky in a room before his wedding to another.)


But, what do I know?

Drew, if you can separate out your personal feelings and look at it impersonally, the good you did in her life, helping her brother, etc. Those were gifts, not from you, but from the universe. You were simply the vehicle. If you can view it as performing a service, not just for one person, but a system of interconnected people, there is healing in that perspective and your personal feelings of being used will subside. Your feelings of being used are coming from your own expectations. You're on a spirituality board, looking for greater understanding of your own experience. Someday you will come to understand that each and every expectation you have and place on the world and other people limits your own happiness.

Chalk it up to a learning experience. We're all learning how to exist in this crazy place.

[Silver]

Good job top.

...seriously doubt aries is the only um uh (fill in blank) in the zodiac~*