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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #11  
Old 05-09-2021, 11:30 PM
iamthat iamthat is offline
Master
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Golden Bay, New Zealand
Posts: 3,580
 
Thank you for your kind comments. Whatever wisdom I might have gained has been through years of dealing with my own stuff. And I have also learned from studying the writings of those far more wise than I am. Eventually we reach a point where we don't take ourselves too seriously.

Your first boyfriend sounds like a troubled soul, yet he obviously also had many fine qualities. Maybe when you think of him, think of his warmth, his patience and his love, and the fact that he took care of you so well. It is good to recognise the best in people rather than focusing on the worst.

Not all relationships are destined to be for a lifetime, but they can all teach us something. I hope that you have now found a good place within yourself.

Peace
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  #12  
Old 07-09-2021, 07:38 PM
asearcher
Posts: n/a
 
Thank you, iamthat. Yes, I want the good to count and be remembered.
I can see first within this year of my life when looking back that I had limited view, understanding for what he was going through.
For one thing I thought his struggle with alcohol was over with upon the time of our break up. As he had kept it so well all that time before. I was young and naive.
I would tell him to check in the kitchen cabinet where i had placed the Rehab papers (if he had not thrown them away), so he always knew my attitude about it, long after the break up.
I lost him, us, our home - all so sudden - and then him going stalker- crazy on me for a while there - before becoming a friend. What a journey.
Perhaps it was just that - the long journey we made in each other's lives that made us close in different ways, not in a romantic way, but still an important way that I did not see as important til now.

Yes, I will remember him with fondness.
Thank you so much =)

Last edited by asearcher : 08-09-2021 at 12:19 PM.
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  #13  
Old 08-09-2021, 12:15 AM
PureEvil760
Posts: n/a
 
You cannot love an individual as that can only be considered attachment. Real love is felt for everyone, if you do not feel it than you do not love. This isn't a bad thing, it's just something you've been unaware of. You've probably never experienced real love. Which should be good news to you as it can blow what you thought was love out of the water. The one thing to remember is, it doesn't 'belong' to you, it belongs to everyone, something you cannot create yourself as it already exists.

If you want to join the ranks of being truly good you simply have to want it more than what you already have or can have. It doesn't mean you have to act good, I myself am a pretty big a-hole but see it doesn't matter because you must give offense in order to take it. Therefore I can only offend bad people, truly good people are impossible to offend.
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