He felt the connection too

[Angel27]

I was in a temp job for 3 months. There was a guy there. We got on ok but at times he could be defensive - I realised this was due to his stressful job. In the last few weeks of the job he dropped his guard and we started to chat a lot in general, lots of personal talk as we trusted each other and we made each other laugh.

I got a job a lot closer to home as the temp manager was not willing to allow home working. I was in floods of tears as I had grown close to my colleagues especially this man. He saw me crying and took me into an office for privacy. He was kind and reassured me and said to take the job.

We went back to our desks and he got out his job application and said he had an interview for elsewhere. He had said over recent weeks that the job was too stressful and the place was not the same since the restructure last year. He said too much work gets passed from the top down.

He went for the interview and got the job. He was so pleased and thanked me for my help as I helped him prepare for the interview.

The day before I finished he said lets swap numbers and kept saying he will contact me. He hugged me goodbye and said it was lovely to work with me and wished me all the best. He rushed out of the door, he never does that. I burst into tears after he went. The next day was my last day and he had to cover at another office. He responded to my emails to say I have been a great asset etc. He rang me to say goodbye and he said he will contact me and keep me updated on him leaving but he kept saying he will contact me and he sounded down and frustrated as though he doesn’t want to let go. I cried when I put the phone down.

He is one of the most kindest nurturing men I have ever met. The big problem is he is married. I dont think he is happy in his marriage as he had not mentioned his wife in a long time. I asked what he wife said about him getting the new job and he said she was pleased in a monotone voice and quickly changed the subject. I had heard him speak to his wife on the phone and he was a bit snappy as though she had wound him up. I asked if he would move house on his new wage increase and he sounded very serious saying his wife wants to move to another town 30 minutes away closer to her work and he said they need a conversation as he will not move.

He also has ill health where has said he has had MRI scans and blood tests about his weight gain something to do with his thyroid. He has also been experiencing headaches and sore eyes at work lately. I had a genuine concern for his health as he is a good person.

What is the best way forward? I would not engage in a relationship with him as he is married. People on another forum had a go at me for developing feelings for a married man but I know in my heart he felt the same.

Looking back he would mirror my body language and took me into another room to talk about the history of the organisation as I think he just wanted to look at me out of sight from other colleagues.

Do you think he will contact me? I feel so sad as we had a strong emotional connection.

Hi, way I see it we have many soulmates in this world, and each time we make an important decision in life (on a counscious or subcounscious level) there will be a alternative, a parallel reality created (or so I have read). We have free will. I think it is as complex that we do not just have one destiny.

In a long term relationship, marriage, things do get up and down (speaking of own experience/s) and sooner or later you are going to feel disconnected to that someone but you still have that need to feel a mental connection, and that is when we could be attracted, moving towards someone else that would be right for us. I do feel there could be more than one person on this planet that could be right for us, filling different areas in our own personality, chemistry.

You could also even if you think you are happy and connected meet someone in your every day life, such at a working place, and find a spark but it don't then go near the way it would have done if you are feeling alone in your relationship. Like someone said I am married, I am not dead. It is important to talk about where does the boundaries go. One has it's own moral code too and that might not be what the partner has. One never usually talk about these things, I feel - until it is too late. The hurt one can feel is unbearable.

Those who are close or who will embark on an affair with or without the current intention to leave their marriage or serious relationship, they can also be at the moment in reaction to start to feel again what they have before felt for their wife/husband/partner, and could then end the affair, as they realize and they - again - connect with their wife/husband/partner, so one never knows.

If let's say he and his wife had decided to split then he would have been a free man when you two built your strong tie, but he has not done that so far. I guess I got no other advice for the moment as you have to just wait and see.

I know you did not chose this, and one can't help how one feels. I feel for you. Sometimes the heart says one thing and the mind another.

[lostsoul13]

Developing feelings for a married man—- might be out of your jurisdiction…although you’ve probably heard it all before… at times we can’t help our feelings and who we are attracted too…he may or may not contact you… destiny has a way of getting in the way of relationships…it’s great you won’t take the relationship further…considering he’s married—-that might be a big clue…the grass is greener on the other side… but if your meant to be …you will find a way… if that’s any consolation… twin flame relationships take lots of road blocks—-