The fine line of working with clients

[Jyotir]

Originally Posted by Sungirl

This is aimed mostly at those that have a practice and work with clients.

I have a client that continually messes me around. She asks to change dates and times. Last time when she booked a session she told me when she wanted to come and at what time.

Now, because I work full time in the mundane world I only have 2 regular healing clients. One has a set date and time she comes. For other people I have specific days I can offer and only 2 times slots. So, it's fair to say she will know roughly when I am able to fit her in, but she doesn't know I only have one other client.

This time she had booked the 8pm slot and then 2 days before asked if she could change it to the 6pm slot. I said I would see if I could juggle things around for her and she was apologetic. In reality it worked better for me to change the session, but that is not the point. If I was a hairdresser or dentist she wouldn't do this because she would assume that I would have other clients.

I try to be fairly laid back and work with my clients, but I am aware that she doesn't necessarily see me as a profesional if she feels she can do this to me.

I know some people take the hard line with cancelation fees and the like, but I was wondering where i should put the line between the hard line and being so soft I have to constantly rearrange for people.

What do other people do? I really don't want to loose her because she is great experience for me as I set up my practice.....

Hi Sungirl,

My advice would be to assess realistically whether the impact is really that insurmountable or damaging to your practice.
If you have 2 clients, better to be grateful you have any than risk a 50% decline.
Other than that you always have the option of refusing service if you feel the client is causing so much disharmony in your life - or you cannot rise to the demand of it. "I'm sorry I am booked and can't take you on this week". A few of those and she will get the message, but is that the message you want to market in a service oriented endeavor?

SG: In reality it worked better for me to change the session, but that is not the point

Or it could be entirely the point.

What good is healing, how can it be effected if one can't be patient, flexible and adaptable? What happens when a client presents with resistance, avoidance, substitution regarding their own intention to heal, to participate in the process of which you are a facilitator? In the general sense, if you are working consciously with energy you might as well be more inclusive to those energies beyond and encompassing the conventional social-professional provider/client relationship. How can a healer operate without acknowledging and utilizing that third (really the First, Primary) energy within which we all live and become?

SG: she doesn't necessarily see me as a professional if she feels she can do this to me.

Specifically related to the client - what she is doing is not "to you" but coming to work with you for healing. iow's She does recognize your service on some level, but some people have overextended, unprioritized and confused lives. Not everyone presents with the same set of conditions - and I will posit that the client's attitude regarding appointments may also be how they regard themselves, value and use their own energy and probably that has an import in terms of any condition they are seeking your mediation for. Work with it, not against it. Accept it, understand it - it may be a window into their condition.

Also it might be a good opportunity to assess and examine your own values, needs motives and intentions regarding your practice and how you relate to clients attitudinally and energetically. Are there possible insecurities about confidence, humility and status issues? The other side of 'how she is treating you' is that you may have unconscious issues internally that have effects on your practice, how you view and relate to clients.

Yes, she is a great experience, including a learning experience on how to expand patience, flexibility, insight. Success in handling this aspect of a service business is every bit as important as what the ostensible 'service' is - and with healing arts more so.

Also, 2 days notice is imo extremely deferential by today's rude standards, and, "she was apologetic". You are lucky to have someone who bothered to request the change and apologize vs. just not showing up with no communication at all, or after the fact. Not to mention the instance where client receives the service and, "Oops! - forgot my check book - can I pay you next time?" There are all kinds of energy games, manipulations, foibles, circumstances - and in the holistic sense they are all part of the healing process, at least to acknowledge and consider.

If she calls to change and you cannot accommodate just say so, make a new plan, and move ahead with good faith in the entire process.

Jmho, fwiw

~ J

Originally Posted by Jyotyr

What good is healing, how can it be effected if one can't be patient, flexible and adaptable? What happens when a client presents with resistance, avoidance, substitution regarding their own intention to heal, to participate in the process of which you are a facilitator? In the general sense, if you are working consciously with energy you might as well be more inclusive to those energies beyond and encompassing the conventional social-professional provider/client relationship. How can a healer operate without acknowledging and utilizing that third (really the First, Primary) energy within which we all live and become?

Wonderful.

First, I am a professional Massage Therapist and Energy Healer. I've been working in the field for ~8 years as a Healer and ~5 years as a massage therapist.

Something very important to consider is that Healing isn't something that just happens on the table. What you say before and after the treatment as well as any followups or phone conversations are just as important to the healing process. Ideally you shouldn't be only caring for your client for that 1 hour session, but creating an open atmosphere where you are able to help them deal with everything in their lives, be it physical exercises to help their bodies or emotional exercises to help their hearts.

From what you said I can see two things. (1) you have not built a good raport and (2) you are not providing your client with what she needs.

I don't know if it's because she has control issues or organization issues or what, but her behaviour in unhealthy. Your job as a healer is to make her healthy. Solving this problem of making/keeping appointments is thus also part of the therapy. Talk to her about this and try, delicately, to make her aware of the problem if she isn't already. Ask her about it and try to give her advice on how to fix it. Let her know that, for her own sake, you are going to start putting your foot down regarding appointments.

It may be frightening at first but I guarantee that openning this line of dialogue will make her respect you more as a therapist, will improve your connection with your client and will make you a better healer.

[MysticalWings]

I'm the first point of contact either by phone or face to face from clients to external and internal staff. I know that I have full spiritual sense of energy to make sure that regardless of this person's background/situation, specially when people dealing with very difficult issues. I know how to balance their negativity from experiencing a bad day as soon as they come into the office.

That's why I enjoyed so much coming to work. Where I'm currently working, I know how to gather good energy and bad energy by just the way they talk. When I hear their voice either by phone or face to face.... I know exactly how I level myself with/to them.

Personally, based on my current experience; by the end of the day...it's how you make them feel better that makes it worth while (✿◠‿◠)