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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Death & The Afterlife

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  #11  
Old 02-02-2023, 11:17 PM
Starman Starman is offline
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Iamthat, a very intriguing post, especially the last paragraph. I do like how you built on what I shared, and you also pointed out pros and cons of the funeral concept, which covers a wider spectrum. Psychologically it might be said that a funeral is like a catharsis, after all that is what grieving is all about.

But a funeral is a concentrated burst of grieving, and it is interesting that you bought up how such a concentrated burst of grieving may effect the journey of the deceased. I imagine positive vibes from Earthbound well wishers might also impede that journey of the deceased.

Spiritually we talk about surrender and letting go. It may be calloused to talk about letting go of a loved one. People need time and some never let go. Funerals are about remembrance and they may help some to let go.

I know of military families who have had funerals without the deceased present because the body was never found. But they wanted to have the funeral anyway. They have the funeral to help them with closure, although closure is a misnomer for most who have lost a loved one.

Peace
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Old 03-02-2023, 06:01 PM
iamthat iamthat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Starman
Spiritually we talk about surrender and letting go. It may be calloused to talk about letting go of a loved one. People need time and some never let go. Funerals are about remembrance and they may help some to let go.
Maybe an alternative to the term letting go is accepting.

So people suffer at the death of a loved one because they resist the fact that the loved one has died. They wish that the loved one was still present. They wish that events had worked out other than they did. How can they find peace if they cannot accept the reality of whatever has happened?

And I agree that closure is important for those left behind. So having a funeral or a memorial service (even without a body) marks the end of a chapter. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for such families who have no body to bury or cremate to live with the uncertainty of their situation.

Peace

Last edited by Miss Hepburn : 03-02-2023 at 10:30 PM. Reason: Shortened quote as Admin has asked to 2-3 sentences
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Old 03-02-2023, 08:06 PM
Starman Starman is offline
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Iamthat, Acceptance is an interesting concept but it means difference things to different people. Acceptance can mean embracing, but what does that look like and if we are playing to words then what is the construct behind the thought of “acceptance.”

It seems to me to be more of a process which might involve a group of inter-related constructs, surrender, letting go, embracing, acceptance, etc. The late Doctor Elizabeth Kluber-Ross developed a generalized grieving process based on her observations of people who were dying. The final stage of that process is acceptance.

Would a celebration of the deceased life and how they lived be more accepting? The closer you are to people the more impact they will have on you and the more likely the dynamics of grieving will be when they are physically gone. I guess in the process of acceptance occasional reminiscence is not non-acceptance.

Memories can stay with us, and the term “memorial” is about memories, regardless whether we are talking about a memorial event, place, memorializing a person, or a memorial statute. We memorialize to remember. But, on a different note, it is also the dying person whose time has come to let go, or accept their transition. Maybe not wanting a funeral is a part of that person’s letting go, or acceptance of something greater.

Peace
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