New Kitten!!

[AngelBlue]

Oh gosh Fairy , Don't do that !!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's like when a child gets a baby brother or sister and they are jealous , we don't give the baby away LOLOLOL...
My son and wife went through same with their 2 cats. The first one was in a huff all the time and the new one was so timid, and for a few weeks they had to try to keep them apart but it's all good now ! The first one still thinks he's a diva ( and he is) and the new one ( that is a lot older and was adopted) is "in-different " now and just basically ignores him . I can tell she's thinking "yeah whatever kid, just get on with it yawn yawn "....
LOL ...

[FairyCrystal]

Thanks for the feedback and advise AngelBlue!
I happened to be at the vet's yesterday for Roosje's 2nd vaccination and I asked her advise.
She said it's best to try and keep them apart as much as possible (which is exactly what I had already decided to do) and thus to make sure they both have their own space.
The kitten isn't doing anything wrong, she's just a kitten and on top of that... a calico so not one to easily give up or give in.

I asked her if Feliway could be of help. She said, 5%. Not so much for the kitten as she simply is a young, fiery, playful kitten. But might help the other cat to stay calmer and a bit more at ease.

I felt encouraged by her advise
I am continuing to keep them separate. Thankfully it's summer and Nila, the oldest, is outdoors often (weather allowing) and then Roosje can play in the living room. In the evenings I put Roosje in the hallway when Nila is indoors. She can then also go upstairs to the front room with toys, drink, litter, etc.

At some point I get her and keep her in my lap. Mandatory cuddling time, haha. She resists at first but then gives up, enjoys it, and happily falls asleep.
All the while Nila is also in her basket, snoozing. At least this way no more stress and being in each other's hair, literally.

The most important thing according to the vet is to make sure that the kitten does NOT sleep/play/invade Nila's sleeping space. I had indeed noticed that Nila didn't want to sleep in her own cat tree anymore.
Now I make sure the li'l one can't get on/in it. I do have to put boxes in all the baskets and cave. But it's paying off as now Nila IS sleeping there again!!

I'm hopeful again!
And maybe the little one will also become a little bit calmer once she's been spayed.

[AngelBlue]

Ah bless you and everything will be fine. My son's first cat should ( literally ) be on the catwalk. He's thinks he's the bees knees and was spoilt rotten but my son did used to tap his nose and say "no" to stop him biting.
But despite all of that you can't help but love him.
When Merlin came along it was a horrible time as an interim period.
Mungo ( the diva) is out a lot and likes to "strut his stuff" ... He never shows himself before 9pm and Merlin is a house cat and never goes out.
They have now reached an easy understanding of each other.

[FairyCrystal]

I've decided to let Roosje go to another home.
She's now 3,5 months so still a kitten which makes it easier to find another good home for her as most prefer a young cat/kitten.

I'm heartbroken, totally upset, as I do love her to bits. She's the best cat you could wish to have. Totally adorable, loves to cuddle, purrs as soon as she sees me, quite obedient even when it comes to the crunch, attached to me, very enthusiastic and happy.
The ideal kitten.
But... it's not working out with my other cat. I've noticed Nila is becoming increasingly reluctant to come indoors, both for food and at night to sleep, and also in between during the day. As soon as she comes in she gets tackled by Roosje who jumps right on top of her and then chases after her.
Nila doesn't even attempt to be the dominant one, she runs away, trying to get away from her.

I've had to let go of one cat years ago because of another younger one. He simply didn't come home at all anymore, not even when it was -12C. It was a very cold winter and he lived outdoors at a then empty campsite on the other side of the village. He caught rabbits to eat.
I feared he'd die, freeze to death, at some point. The campsite owner had helped me bring him back home 2x. I then kept him indoors for a bit but as soon as I let him go out he made a beeline for the campsite.

I don't want it to go that way with my Nila!
I've talked to a number of people about it today and they too had a similar thing with 2 cats. One said, it's okay if it's difficult at first but it should improve at least a bit.
With Nila and Roosje it hasn't improved but gotten worse since Nila seems to be afraid of Roosje and reluctant to come back home. So it's not getting any better, not even staying the same, it's going downhill.

I'd put an ad online for Roosje yesterday and someone reacted to it. I was immediately upset, in tears, not knowing what to do.
But it's the best for the cats. Winter is coming, meaning Nila will (normally) be indoors most of the day. That'd mean I'd have to keep Roosje in a separate room all by herself.
She deserves better. No sweet cute lovable pet should have to live like that, all alone in some room. I want the best for her, she deserves it, even though it's going to break my heart as I'm nuts about her.

I'm nuts about both my cats but they don't work together...
They cannot choose so I have to do what's best for them. Keeping both because I'd like that would be utterly selfish and not in the best interest of my cats.
But it breaks my heart nonetheless.

[AngelBlue]

Ah Fairy , I'm so sorry .
I can understand your sentiments. We've got a dog and we got another puppy of the same breed . But the puppy ended up making our dog so depressed . He wouldn't even let our dog sleep in a bed. Our dog was having to sleep on the cold tiles.
In the end we had to give him back....

She will make a lovely pet for someone as a first time pet ...

[FairyCrystal]

Well, I've found her a new home to go to!
She was scared when they were here, she's so scared of strangers as I hardly get visitors, and goes into hiding.
But they managed to see her regardless even though it took some time. They drank a cup of coffee, so we got time to chat. It feels good and that's what most important.
They will come back to pick Roosje up on either Thursday or Friday evening.
As it is Roosje is still scared. She's ill at ease, went into the extension. Makes me wonder if she knows, if she can sense it...

Thank you for sharing your story, AngelBlue. Basically a similar situation... And when it really doesn't work after you did all you could it just doesn't work...

[AngelBlue]

Fairy you did your best with love in your heart and you could not have done more .
That little kitten will know she is loved.
Our Puppy that we gave back was so sweet but not for us.
It was very sad as I gave the former owner the metal dog tag I had made to put on his collar with his name on.

[FairyCrystal]

Thank you! Roosje would've been perfect for me, but not for my other cat. Really weird when you think about it. Very close with both, mutual attachment, but the two together doesn't gel regardless...

It is what it is, like you said, I've done what I could. I tried, nothing worked. And it felt really good with these new people. He lives alone, doesn't have a car so his sister was there too as she drove him.
She's also familiar with crystals, holistic stuff etc. so that was great!

As it is Roosje is still awkward. It's as if she knows and senses it?

[AngelBlue]

I am sure that all was meant to be.
You were meant to take her home so that you could find her forever home for her.
If you never took her in the first place she may have gone to a home where she was not looked after or even ill treated .
So maybe you were only ever meant to be her foster carer for now.
She might be picking up on your emotion, but she will soon settle in to her new environment with her new owner.

[FairyCrystal]

Funny you should say that as I was thinking a very similar thing!!
Thing is, the man said he wasn't ready for a new cat before as he'd lost the one he had unexpectedly. So if Roosje is meant for him he wasn't ready yet for her when she had to leave the place where she was born. They wanted her gone when she was 9 weeks old (beginning of July).
Fact remains I'd rather it hadn't gone this way, like I'm a half-way house or something and I sure as heck would've preferred to keep her myself as she is truly one of the most amazing cats I've ever had.
And I've wanted a calico my entire life, now I had one, a gorgeous one at that.
So first I lost the other one as she died in that accident at the people's she was born, now this...
And I had repeatedly asked Spirit to guide me to the kitten that was the right one for me AND Nila. Weird or what?
Oh well... It is what it is. Part of me is already at peace with it as I know it's the right thing for her. Which doesn't mean I'm not hurting. It's just a more quiet version now.

And yes, I think she has been picking up on my upset-ness today, my hurt.