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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #11  
Old 16-07-2021, 09:44 PM
Miss Hepburn Miss Hepburn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Honza
...You need a strong 'I' to attract people to you. Hence practicing I AM affirmations will draw people to you.
I forgot!!!
Many years ago when I was 24 ,loooong time ago- I did an exercise I read in a magazine!
I wrote out the first day this group of 3 sentences 10 xs.
The next day as per instructed...I sat in a recliner and breathed very comfortably and simply said them ...3 sentences , 10 xs.
After that I just said them thru out the day.

Omg, guys, married men and one husband told his wife and then
SHE fell in love with me. Be careful.

The more I, Honza, love myself the more others will love me.
The more you, Honza, love yourself the more others with love you.
The more he, Honza, loves himself the more others with love him.

Good luck!
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Prepare yourself for the coming astral journey of death by daily riding in the balloon of God-perception.
Through delusion you are perceiving yourself as a bundle of flesh and bones, which at best is a nest of troubles.
Meditate unceasingly, that you may quickly behold yourself as the Infinite Essence, free from every form of misery. ~Paramahansa's Guru's Guru
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  #12  
Old 23-07-2021, 10:05 AM
Altair Altair is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Honza
Having been on my own for most of my life I have spent a lot of time wondering why. My conclusion is that I am not selfish enough! Selflessness sends energy outwards and sends others away from you, whereas to have a partner you need to draw them in. It is based upon the law of attraction.

Wanting to be with someone else ultimately improves your own chances of survival. You have someone around to tell you that it may be best to visit the doctor, to go on a diet, or to call the alarm when you get a heart attack. Many singles end up dead in their home, all alone. Someone to talk to, to have sex with. All of this improves health. It's why I'll end it before my health starts to go downhill!

Then there is the desire to reproduce, which is selfish in biology. The irony is many people think that 'good character' and selflessness attracts others. It does, in a way, but it's less likely so when it comes to mating. What people say and believe and what they actually do are often two totally different things. There's always a sort of matrix that surrounds people and society that is creating many illusions, also with this topic.

How to attract a partner? Be selfish, and go to as many places as possible to meet as many people as possible, start conversations.
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  #13  
Old 23-07-2021, 06:43 PM
HITESH SHAH HITESH SHAH is offline
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Selfish

Quote:
Originally Posted by Honza
My conclusion is that I am not selfish enough!
Conclusion can be right depending on which selfish / Selfish u are talking about. The reason i am talking about there have been many selfish who having attracted the partner are not able to retain it due to same selfish stuff . The higher Selfish let u take care of your own self and other's self in a considerate way without being harsh to either side and at the same time nourishing long lasting relationship.

Relationships are material as well as spiritual . So the worldly things like looks , education , power , possessions ,prestige , position,self-confidence all counts . Try gaining / mastering even in one of these or more of these in a focused manner . These worldly matters if pursued in right manner with honesty is in no way bad. A legitimate relationship should not be far away.

Your own long practiced selflessness too will be very much helpful in attracting and retaining relationship for longer time . Just dont discard the much rare trait u possess recklessly.

I am no expert in relationships . My just 2 cents .
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  #14  
Old 24-07-2021, 05:22 AM
ocean breeze ocean breeze is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Honza
Having been on my own for most of my life I have spent a lot of time wondering why.

How many women have you asked out on a date in the past few months? If you haven't then there's your reason why.

You can take all the advice but if you're not pro-active then.....
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  #15  
Old 24-07-2021, 05:01 PM
Ziusudra Ziusudra is offline
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This is an interesting subject.
Finding a potential life partner who can be one's equal and who can evoke a desire for intimacy is not an easy task, especially one is content with oneself and very comfortable with exploring life as solo.

Yeah. I am realizing why I am so selective. Unlike when I was dating just about anyone for good time in my younger days, the older me treasures my time and doesn't want to waste any of my time with guys who will never going to become anything in my life.

In my own experience and observations, if one is self assured and happy by oneself, it is far less likely to just attach to anyone without a significant connection.
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Last edited by Ziusudra : 24-07-2021 at 05:52 PM.
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  #16  
Old 24-07-2021, 06:52 PM
Ziusudra Ziusudra is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Honza
Having been on my own for most of my life I have spent a lot of time wondering why. My conclusion is that I am not selfish enough! Selflessness sends energy outwards and sends others away from you, whereas to have a partner you need to draw them in. It is based upon the law of attraction.

People who are selfless forget their own importance - and therefore so do others. They forget your importance. My theory is that most relationships are based upon 'I' to 'I'. Rather than soul to soul. (that comes later). Therefore ones needs that selfishness to tug people towards you.

You need a strong 'I' to attract people to you. Hence practicing I AM affirmations will draw people to you. Whereas loving others will satisfy them but not you.

Hmm..
In reality, altruism is the core of happy and lasting marriages.
Yeah, there have been numerous studies done about long and happy marriages. The repeating theme is the altruism.

Perhaps, your "selfless" needs to be redefined from self sacrificing and low self-esteem.
Receiver and taker are vastly different as well.

It is true. One needs to state that "I" want this or that. But this is not about being selfish. This is an intention. This is about being self-aware and self assured.
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  #17  
Old 25-07-2021, 11:52 PM
7luminaries 7luminaries is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn
The more I, Honza, love myself the more others will love me.
The more you, Honza, love yourself the more others with love you.
The more he, Honza, loves himself the more others with love him.


Miss H hello there! This is a wonderful affirmation, useful for healing just so many things. I remember you posted this years ago...perhaps in a slightly different form, but it did have the 3 x 10 with I/you/he or she.

For me, I feel it's key that you are speaking to different aspects of your spiritual self and saying I...love myself, you...love yourself, and he/she...loves him/herself. Repeatedly hearing that embedded direct affirmation in your heart centre is warm and empowering and can be deeply healing. It seems we all need to treat ourselves with a bit more TLC, don't we?

Thank you so much for sharing.

Peace & blessings,
7L
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Here we must be unafraid of what is difficult.

For all living beings in nature must unfold in their particular way

and become themselves despite all opposition.

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  #18  
Old 26-07-2021, 07:38 PM
Lynn Lynn is offline
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Hello

I so feel it is KEY that you do LOVe yourself first and foremost be comfortable in whom you are in your own skin before you can let someone else in. To do that healing work on yourself and at times to help someone work with you on the process.

Never did I feel that I would have the LOVe I have found in my life, never did I feel I would be free from abuse or have such well adjusted and content adult children. Yet I do.

I had a good self image of me but I did not understand the concepts fully of LOVe.

LOVe whom you are even if your not perfect as perfection is not something we find in the one lifetime I feel.

Lynn
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  #19  
Old 28-07-2021, 10:25 PM
7luminaries 7luminaries is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lynn
Hello

I so feel it is KEY that you do LOVe yourself first and foremost be comfortable in whom you are in your own skin before you can let someone else in. To do that healing work on yourself and at times to help someone work with you on the process.
Lynn, agreed...that is exactly it. You need to take up the quest and also reach out for help where needed. That last is what I had to do, and it has made all the difference. I had to kick-start the process to get over the hump, so to speak. I have relied on reminders and advice here on SF (thank you all) to point me to some self-healing. And I've brought guided meditations & guides into it as well.

You've overcome a lot and it's very moving to be reminded of how far we can come. Agreed, authentically loving (forgiving, accepting) the self is a journey across lifetimes...

Peace & blessings
7L
__________________
Bound by conventions, people tend to reach for what is easy.

Here we must be unafraid of what is difficult.

For all living beings in nature must unfold in their particular way

and become themselves despite all opposition.

-- Rainer Maria Rilke
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  #20  
Old 30-07-2021, 11:41 PM
iamthat iamthat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Honza
I was trying to say one needs to be more selfish to attract a partner....not selfless. Selflessness sends energy outwards which drives people away according to the law of attraction. A strong sense of self attracts others.
This is open to question. What do we mean by a "sense of self"?

If selflessness does send out an energy then it is likely to be an attractive energy rather than a repulsive energy. Selflessness actually creates a space within which allows others to enter.

On the other hand a strong sense of self, if it is that of the lower self, may not allow room for anyone else. We probably all know people who are so full of themselves that they are difficult to be with.

Apparently one of the most attractive features of a human being is confidence. People are drawn to those who are confident. Confidence requires a positive attitude towards ourselves, but this is not necessarily the same as having a strong sense of self.

Peace
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