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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Spiritual Development

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  #1  
Old 30-11-2022, 02:22 PM
MikeS80 MikeS80 is offline
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Tired and worn out from having attachments and conditional love...

I just want to start a thread to share the insights/self-realizations I had, caused by having attachments and taking part in conditional love. Most of the time attachments and conditional love are related to each other.

I got tired and worn out from having attachments and from conditional love, thus I have had enough of attachments and conditional love in my life. I used to push conditional love away in one moment, yet I would fantasize about conditional love in my head in another moment.
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Old 30-11-2022, 03:03 PM
Unseeking Seeker Unseeking Seeker is offline
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The way we look at other forms … is it outer appearance or the spirit indwelling it? Love that seeks an echo, is it love or a trade? Where are its roots? Questions we can ask ourself.
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Old 04-12-2022, 12:19 PM
MikeS80 MikeS80 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unseeking Seeker
The way we look at other forms … is it outer appearance or the spirit indwelling it? Love that seeks an echo, is it love or a trade? Where are its roots? Questions we can ask ourself.
it was all of the above for me, including loving with or through the eyes only, depending on the situation.

I think a better question to ask is does divine or unconditional love seek an echo to be loved or does divine or unconditional love just love because that is what love does?

I am currently working on a post (which I will post in the non-duality section of the forum) about an experience and realizations I had that got me to clearly see appearances, illusions, maya for what they really are. The gist of it though is that anything that is not percieved to be divine or unconditional love is an appearance, illusion, maya, unreal etc that is on top of divine or unconditional love.
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Old 04-12-2022, 04:15 PM
Hemera Hemera is offline
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Realisation is a great thing. It means there's distance between you and the stress and strain of what is causing you pain.

I'm not sure that attachment or conditional love is the problem per sae, it's being lost in it. Once you have space around it, it's 'oh, I'm feeling/thinking/needing this again' and you can centre yourself.

Or maybe that's just my experience.

I was very attached to someone for a long time and it caused me a huge amount of suffering, but once I noticed what I was doing I could centre myself again and feel the wholeness and lightness that comes automatically from living within my being. Now I still spend time with this person but it feels more spacious and from a different place because I don't need this person to make me whole, I already have that. It doesn't mean the love is any less deep, in fact more so.
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Old 04-12-2022, 04:46 PM
iamthat iamthat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeS80
I think a better question to ask is does divine or unconditional love seek an echo to be loved or does divine or unconditional love just love because that is what love does?
I think the latter.

Unconditional love is a quality of the Soul or Consciousness. Such love arises naturally without seeking anything in return. This love shines on all, regardless of what they do or don't do. Just as the Sun radiates light and warmth on everyone without imposing conditions.

Peace
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Old 05-12-2022, 03:32 AM
MikeS80 MikeS80 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hemera
I'm not sure that attachment or conditional love is the problem per sae, it's being lost in it. Once you have space around it, it's 'oh, I'm feeling/thinking/needing this again' and you can centre yourself.
I am aware inside myself that conditional love is the root cause of my fear, pain, suffering etc. I say is because I am still working on it every day and every moment.. All likes and dislikes are created by conditional love. Thinking this and that is good/positive or bad/negative is created by conditional love. This is what creates or forms the personality. Conditional love creates too much thinking, while divine/unconditional love is having thoughts that comes from a still or empty mind.
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Old 05-12-2022, 03:34 AM
MikeS80 MikeS80 is offline
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Originally Posted by iamthat
I think the latter.

Unconditional love is a quality of the Soul or Consciousness. Such love arises naturally without seeking anything in return. This love shines on all, regardless of what they do or don't do. Just as the Sun radiates light and warmth on everyone without imposing conditions.

Peace
Yes, exactly!
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Old 05-12-2022, 11:31 AM
Redchic12 Redchic12 is offline
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Yes I believe that unconditional love is part of the soul/consciousness.

I’m kinda on the fence with this thing called “unconditional love” in the physical tho.

I feel we all want something back if we give our love out. Let’s say we get married and we give unconditional love out to our partner again and again and all we get back is either nothing, very little and sometimes abuse such as gaslighting and betrayal. So do we stay in that marriage and keep giving unconditional love.?

Then there is unconditional love with your kids. Do you want them to behave, do you want them to have good manners, do you want them to respect you, if so, well THAT is WANTING SOMETHING BACK isn’t it.

Ok yes I know there is always exceptions to the rule.

I really don’t think there is any unconditional love in the physical as we all want SOMETHING BACK. I mean it’s just common sense to want/need something back from friends or a partner, even if it’s just respect. That Is still conditional.

Perhaps most of us just want kindness, loyalty and honesty and I can’t see anything wrong with that. But they are STILL conditions!

I think the key to this subject is balance. If you give and receive equally ie your love and your time with partner/friend everything will work out fine. It’s only when the balance is tipped to where one is giving more love/time/energy to other that causes pain.

I disagree with you Mike when you stated “conditional love creates fear pain etc in your life. Maybe you are the one who is always giving more than the other person and that’s why your suffering. It’s peoples behaviour that is causing this pain for you and not conditional love.

That’s just my opinion and I respect others who see it differently.
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Old 05-12-2022, 05:34 PM
MikeS80 MikeS80 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Redchic12
I really don’t think there is any unconditional love in the physical as we all want SOMETHING BACK. I mean it’s just common sense to want/need something back from friends or a partner, even if it’s just respect. That Is still conditional.
Love of a spouse or partner, i.e wife, husband or girlfriend, or boyfriend is based on conditional love, and having kids/offspring with said spouse is an effect of the conditional love you have with and for the spouse. Human attraction and sex are based on conditional love/likes and dislikes etc etc. Conditional love wants or needs to receive conditional love back.

Divine or unconditional love does not need or want anything back in return, certainly not conditional love.

Divine or unconditional love is the physical universe and life itself, so there is divine/unconditional love in the physical. You just perceive the physical as conditional love, and that is the only dream, illusion, and maya that so many spiritual gurus, sages, teachers etc talk about. Most, if not all, people view conditional love as a good thing. I am not saying conditional love is a good or bad thing, I am just expressing what conditional love is. If a duck looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and walks like a duck, then it is a f-ing duck.

Sure, conditional love, which creates personal subjective likes and dislikes gives you warm, fuzzy, good, happy feelings inside for a limited amount of time, but conditional love also makes you sad and depressed when you do not feel warm, fuzzy, good and happy inside. Divine/unconditional love does not have that problem.

I am almost 100% convinced that divine/unconditional love correctly known, understood, and put into (Mental) action, is the path to non-duality, god, bliss, brahman, the tao, and (sic) enlightenment etc etc. No other concepts, ideas, fantasies, and myths are needed.

Another major problem that I am aware of, because I had the same problem, is that many people have a concept, fantasy or idea in their minds of what and how god or the creator of all things is, when it is not a concept, idea, or fantasy, it is the (physical) universe. A person can not observe the universe, and is not conscious, and aware of the universe as it is, while having a still/clear mind, when the person's mind and memory is full of concepts, ideas and fantasies about what the universe, god or the creator of all things is.

Please note to prevent confusion, I do not separate the physical universe from the spiritual, ultimate/absolute reality, nirvana or heaven, as they are not separate from each other. I also know what it is like to be pee'd off at the universe and hate it with a passion. I have been there and done that in my younger years.
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Old 05-12-2022, 08:02 PM
Uma Uma is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iamthat
I think the latter.
Unconditional love is a quality of the Soul or Consciousness. Such love arises naturally without seeking anything in return. This love shines on all, regardless of what they do or don't do. Just as the Sun radiates light and warmth on everyone without imposing conditions.
A quality of the Soul or Consciousness in its pure pristine state yes.

I think we all know what unconditional IS. The tricky part is how to manifest this, and how to keep manifesting it all the time, wisely.

Last edited by Uma : 05-12-2022 at 10:29 PM.
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