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Originally Posted by The Dude
Greetings gang, I hope this is in the right subforum.
I'm a big fan of Eckhart Tolle. I used to read his books but watch his youtube videos nowadays because I feel like you get more out of it hearing the way he talks etc. Sometimes I listen to Alan Watts as well. Anyways, I had what felt like extreme life challenges that helped/forced me to work on being present (some of those challenges we are all facing right now). Before our newborn arrived, I was getting to a place where I had what I can best describe as an exhilarating experience when I was fully present. I worked on paying attention to as many stimuli of the present moment at the same time as possible and experienced a "rush" for a lack of better words. My feet tingled and I felt perfect. At other times when I was going about my day, I was more at peace in my life and dealing well with things considering these strange times. Then the newborn arrived.
She is amazing and I love her so much. I'm a modern dad and very involved. However, my wife and I are both very tired and I'm struggling to stay present. Sometimes I'm rude to my wife (it goes both ways). I know that if I can be present it will help both of us. However, I'm finding it impossible to be present while I am this tired. Do any of you have any tips? There are going to be other times in my life when I'm tired and I want my spiritual muscles to be strong enough to handle it. Thank you
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Nothing you do can overcome physical tiredness other than downtime, sleep and ‘recovery.
It doesn’t matter how spiritual you have been, previously, real life matters are the essence of practice. Practice is honouring your physical needs. We are human form one with spiritual essence, there are times and experiences in life, where we experience both separately.
Tiredness means rest. It’s simple.
Taking turns to support each other with the child, is one way.
Keeping life simple with simple measures that support parents and child together. Walking, nature, baths with the baby and honest communication with regards to each other’s needs. You have to become smarter and resourceful. As an example. Right around babies sleep time, if both are tired all sleep whether it’s morning noon or early to bed.
Parenthood in its early stages is a juggling act. Building a routine for baby and parents is essential to your sanity and recovery times.
Routines for the baby gives you routine and space to build your balance.
Another one I learned is bathing the baby at night so baby is more relaxed and timed with that night settling time.
My son was a difficult sleeper, this worked a treat.
Spiritual muscles when you have a child is a long term, changing awareness that incorporates you as a real living being, the first twelve months is establishing routines and sleep, feeds and food, self care.
The toddler stage tests your physical endurance differently, because they often sleep better and all night if you’ve created healthy sleep patterns for them.
Toddler up to pre school you’ll be challenged by other things, such as tantrums and assertiveness, likes and dislikes, don’t want, will nots!!!
It goes on and on. My son was my teacher, for 18yrs. He was my gift to grow deeper during that time. He was the experience created by his parents and you learn about yourself differently than any other way in the world. It’s a very unique and special arrangement so take care of yourself and rested and you’ll manage better.
Sometimes as parents we want to be perfect, but it won’t be and you have to get real about what is as it is, don’t rush this process, just trust it, get rested and you’ll do just fine..reconciliation is a great model for a child and how parents interact. So if you feel you failed or not doing enough, just voice it out loud and be open to heal the rift. A child doesn’t need perfection, it needs to see life as it is and know it’s loved unconditionally through you loving yourself in this way.
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