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Originally Posted by Guff779
...It's obvious doesn't have to do with anything with money. He's saving £100 per week which very good for a 65 year old.
Again he complained and lied to me for leaving hair in razor and he himself saying he got the hair out, when I checked the hair was there....
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Dear Guff779
Both my parents are around the same age as your father... what I am about to tell you, is mostly a thing of life and psychology rather than spirituality but I hope it helps because I have a similar situation with both but at a lower degree.
After researching about getting old, and watching people's reactions after a certain age, I found out that when a person reaches his/her 60th year, the health problems start to be evident.
I am talking about inablity to walk well and endure, maybe digestion problems or congestion problems, sight problems e.t.c... all the "goodies" that come with age... Now these things make them vulnerable, make them dependent on others.. well.. their children.
It is frustrating to know that you were an independent person before and now you have to rely on others to help you for anything. They get grumpy. And depending on their life (how harsh it has been), they can be REALLY grumpy and unmanageable.
They become like spoiled kids that need attention and they are trying to find ways to catch yours. A therapist that I talked to, told me, that whatever "behavioral issues" they had from childhood, to adulthood, they are also amplified greatly... For example if a mum or dad always had their way with everything, they can be demanding and unreasonable to the point of being highly toxic to get their way, or simply to mess with you because you don't do their bidding... they might not be able to move their legs, but they can as sure as hell move their tongue and pierce your soul with their words.
A first step for YOU to be ok, is acknowledge the fact that your dad will not sit down to understand your point of view... he is turning into a child mentally after all... try not to take to heart what he tells you, otherwise you are going to be very unhappy thinking that you are not good enough... you might do 100 things right but he may crucify you for one thing you supposedly did wrong...
My parents have been very judgmental of me until I moved out and proved that not only I can take care of my own house, I can also cook and feed them if need be. But still there are times when my mother will call me names when I don't agree with her about certain things... I return to my house frustrated thinking that she is slowly turning into a bitter person because in her life people have judged her like she judges me now, so I guess it is kind of like a reflex... for all the things she could not say then, she says them now to the first available punching bag... I try to think that this is life and get over it... It is not easy, but we are human, I guess we are entitled to some anger every now and then...
I suggest you liberate yourself by focusing on moving out... be independent and be present only when YOU can. That way, maybe he will appreciate you by your absence.
That's reality for you and for any person that still have their parents and their are getting old... Limit the conversations to the essentials only.. don't let him get into your head...
Please know that I feel you... Part of our spiritual journey is observing the tired souls of our families that may not be as awakened as we and help them when and where we can... we may have been like that before.... our observations will help us not to turn like them, but be a better version for our children...
this journey is ongoing...
much love and appreciation...
Crysta
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