The Art of Listening

"Listening has become a lost art. Although we are taught the communication tools of reading, writing and verbalising from childhood, the art of active and empathetic listening is often overlooked. Research suggests that people accurately comprehend and recall approximately 50% of what they hear. Within the next forty eight hours, most forget half of the retained information, hence leaving a mere 25% of what was initially heard.

Why is listening so hard?

Most of the time, and especially in the midst of disagreements, we are busy formulating our own opinion and thinking about what we are going to say. This prevents us from actually hearing what is being said. In addition, emotions such as anger and certain words may trigger thought patterns that can cause our mind to be distracted and wander. As a consequence, we hear what we want to hear and don't hear what we don't want to hear.

Only when we are externally silent and have quietened our inner chatter can true listening happen. This creates the space for a deep understanding of what the other person really wants to communicate. The inability to set aside the urge to voice our emotions and opinions and listen without judgment is a major cause for misunderstandings and disagreements. The complaint that family, employers and others are not listening to us is commonplace in today's society, and may be a major factor in the popularity of therapy, where one feels one is being listened to.

Why is listening so important to people?

Because listening is attention, and attention is energy! When you genuinely listen to someone, you not only boost their self worth, but also their energy levels! This is why people feel so fulfilled when someone listens to them. If you listen closely when somebody is sharing, especially if they are sharing a problem, you will see that almost always, what they are looking for is understanding and empathy, not your solutions for their problems.

It is also a commonly held notion that one has to be loud and heard to be noticed and to progress in society. In fact true power may lie in the ability to be silent and truly listen as this brings real insight into the needs and how we can best interact with the other. Studies show that true leadership is linked to the ability to effectively listen to those around you.

Practise the art of listening in your life. Observe the tendencies we have to formulate our responses without really listening to the other, and see what new understandings and closeness it can bring with those in your life."

**Shared by Paramahamsa Nithyananda

(And it created such a big click in me.)

[sound]

Nice post LishBliss ... a belated welcome to the community :)

My gratitude to you Sound :)

[Emmalevine]

Great post. I agree!

[IsleWalker]

Originally Posted by LishBliss

Because listening is attention, and attention is energy! When you genuinely listen to someone, you not only boost their self worth, but also their energy levels! This is why people feel so fulfilled when someone listens to them. If you listen closely when somebody is sharing, especially if they are sharing a problem, you will see that almost always, what they are looking for is understanding and empathy, not your solutions for their problems.

LishBliss--Great post. This paragraph created "big click" for me.

Thanks for providing it!

IsleWalker -Lora

Thats very very nice and also quite true!

[lostsoul13]

I always felt I talked a lot- including therapy… but never got listened to properly- amongst theories and teleportation/ that we are jumpers… I never thought my jumping skills listened to me either.. having a kind of it own mind and I’m having to deal / pick up where left off from… trying to be alone - lesson’s with constraints in accordance to listening seem to be constraining in my life- I read your post fully and I barged in on once and wondered away once lol as you were talking I was feeling what you were saying.. the post was doing and creating a value lesson!!!?

Thanks for that!

I felt listened to with my children and flame—- but the account seemed not to listen… it had a kind of its own.. always reincarnating avatar's without permission and leaving me to pick up the pieces.. reincarnating was hard and painful after the accident… it left me wanting not to listen after listening to pain for so long - I was thankful to be in a new human being … even if it meant sense weren’t to good or connections faulted … anything was better than listening.. it got on my nerves - so can be refreshing listening to others and reading posts …

Otherwise: I’m full of boredom and really fidgety…

[Native spirit]

A counselors job is to Listen speaking to a therapist does'nt work for everyone

and it depends if you get on with so therapist.




Namaste

[saurab]

A very nice post. Unburdening oneself with someone works because of the wall of isolation we have built around ourselves (even if we have many friends). So naturally, sharing our experiences with others helps break down this wall.=, and this intimacy is what people like when someone really listens to us.

Yes this is a very nice thread!