We're both married. Help!

Originally Posted by Divine-Love

I connected with my twin flame about 5 months ago. We have a strong telepathic connection, I've experienced kundalini awakening and he is all I can think about. The problem is that both of us are married. He has been married for 20 years, and I have been married for 5 and have 2 small children. I never thought I would be in this situation, but I just want to be with him. I know he feels the same, though we haven't discussed it on a physical level. I need some guidance because I'm ready to walk out on my husband! I am so conflicted and would love to hear any input. Thank you.

Sarian worded it well. I have to question whether it's wise to go running off with someone else right away though. You have two small children- I suggest you take the time to sort out business on your home front and make that your first priority rather than just wanting to be with someone else. I think it's better to recoup and focus those feelings over to your children while you either reconcile with their father or move on. Your children have feelings too.

With regards to kundalini awakening, if he is the responsible party to trigger this then he should have enough awareness to stay away and actively keep his distance. For him to take advantage of the current power imbalance, whether by design of by default, would be tantamount to abuse.
If something else triggered this and considering the result of it, the infatuation with another person, an independent experienced spiritual counselor should be consulted. As far as I am concerned, kundalini awakening is an awakening of one's spiritual powers. When this translates into obsession with another person there is imo something wrong.

GOSH today seems to be a not so good day to find compassion on this forum - I'm not liking the underlying energy of this thread - honestly you would be best to take Beautiful Life's offer up to private message him.

There is a way to get yr message across but with compassion everyone - regardless of what the OP situation is she came here to reach out - we are not here to judge...assume or accuse - we are here to support and offer a FRIENDLY ear until she's finds clarity within.

I personally am sorry u have not received that in its entirety today DL much love and light to you xo

hello Dear,
Would like to share something with all of you here. Its my personal experience. I 've been married for past 13 yrs now. From the first day of my marriage I was aware that the relationship I am entering is not a compatible one as it was arranged by my parents. In our family, most of the marriages are arranged ones. we are sikh in religion and Sikhs have faith in god for he is the one who holds our destiny and fete in his hands. So most of the marriages are decided by our senior generation. Anyways coming to point now. The first 11 yrs of my marriage proved to be almost like living in a hell with my husband. And here I am not talking about me alone but I am sure that my hubby went through a similar trauma like me, to work this marriage out. I think there cannot be any suffering left out of the world which we did not face .I mean both of us. We constantly kept on trying to work this companionship out but most of the time to no positive results. Our circumstances did not allow us to go for a divorce or be separated. Somehow we managed to carry on. after my daughter's birth 3 yrs back. Our luck started changing for good of course and most of the suffering started to surpass and there was a feeling of relief. Now I felt that at last god has showered some mercy upon my home and myself. Must mention here that It is not that my husband and me started loving each other or understanding each other. it is just that we have learn t to adjust and adapt ourselves to each other so as to maintain harmony of our relationship and benefit of our children. My son is now 12 yrs old and daughter is 2 plus. Now when I was so much set in this small world of mine. there was suddenly the coming of my soul mate, who i am now confirmed to be my twin soul. I say this with confirmation because I have already done a lot of study on this issue on the Internet itself and all the symptoms that i have read on various websites prove me to myself that Its true. I don't have to now prove it to anyone or even myself that it is true. We both have recognized each other though we have not discussed this thing as the right time has not yet come. I must say that me and my better half (my twin flame) we are both living our own lives with the ones we got married to. We love each other immensely, and so deeply that I am even sure we can die for each other if so needed. but we never persuade each other to take any such step that might hurt our near ones or the society in whole. Any step taken for our personal benefit but which could bring suffering to our spouses or children is not acceptable in any aspect. We are always at peace when we talk to each other, always understand each others feelings somehow. Love each others company and always connected spiritually. We always long to meet each other in person too. we have never met in real life. can you believe that !!! yes we have never met in real life. Met on a singers website and progressed through internet, chatting and webcam and picture sharing. And I was not looking for a soul mate or twin soul. just received him as a gift through will of god. I have never ever had any such kind of affair or relationship with anybody in my lifetime. Not even with my husband. When I met my twin soul, instantly a godly intervention told me that he is one you belong to, and I believe this that there was no one before him and there won't be anyone else after him. I belong to him with all my spirit and I believe he also has same feeling for me. We are made for each other. No matter what karmas or deeds we have to accomplish on this physical plane, but we are going to reunite with god's mercy when right time comes. It could be months,or yrs. time doesn't exist for such unions I guess. But when this happens there shall be nothing but happiness all round us. Thanx for reading what I have I have shared here. just hope it could render a bit of help for the seekers here. any comments from you people are welcome. Don't know much about this forum, as I have joined a few moments back. Good luck to everyone.:-)

Originally Posted by Loving_Soul

GOSH today seems to be a not so good day to find compassion on this forum - I'm not liking the underlying energy of this thread - honestly you would be best to take Beautiful Life's offer up to private message him.

There is a way to get yr message across but with compassion everyone - regardless of what the OP situation is she came here to reach out - we are not here to judge...assume or accuse - we are here to support and offer a FRIENDLY ear until she's finds clarity within.

I personally am sorry u have not received that in its entirety today DL much love and light to you xo

You are right there isn't much compassion in this thread, but this compassionate approach has its problem in forums like this. People tend to take what they like and that which supports what they want from the current situation. Once one gets to the challenging part there is a good likelihood that they just drop out of the conversation because they got what they want, sympathy, empathy, a sense that the situation is fixable somehow, not that bad, and maybe even acceptable.

Is that not prolonging the agony and the period of indecision where establishing some control becomes more and more difficult?

There are good reasons to establish good rapport and a safe environment if there is little possibility of escaping from the conversation at no cost. IMO the internet does not provide such an environment.

You didnt give much detail, but if you dont love your husband anymore and you know its over and done, the choice is simple. Just make sure you dont leave hoping you will live with the other guy happily ever after, cuz that may not happen. What does he say? is he ready to separate from his wife too?

Originally Posted by sahibsingh

hello Dear,
Would like to share something with all of you here. Its my personal experience. I 've been married for past 13 yrs now. From the first day of my marriage I was aware that the relationship I am entering is not a compatible one as it was arranged by my parents. In our family, most of the marriages are arranged ones. we are sikh in religion and Sikhs have faith in god for he is the one who holds our destiny and fete in his hands. So most of the marriages are decided by our senior generation. Anyways coming to point now. The first 11 yrs of my marriage proved to be almost like living in a hell with my husband. And here I am not talking about me alone but I am sure that my hubby went through a similar trauma like me, to work this marriage out. I think there cannot be any suffering left out of the world which we did not face .I mean both of us. We constantly kept on trying to work this companionship out but most of the time to no positive results. Our circumstances did not allow us to go for a divorce or be separated. Somehow we managed to carry on. after my daughter's birth 3 yrs back. Our luck started changing for good of course and most of the suffering started to surpass and there was a feeling of relief. Now I felt that at last god has showered some mercy upon my home and myself. Must mention here that It is not that my husband and me started loving each other or understanding each other. it is just that we have learn t to adjust and adapt ourselves to each other so as to maintain harmony of our relationship and benefit of our children. My son is now 12 yrs old and daughter is 2 plus. Now when I was so much set in this small world of mine. there was suddenly the coming of my soul mate, who i am now confirmed to be my twin soul. I say this with confirmation because I have already done a lot of study on this issue on the Internet itself and all the symptoms that i have read on various websites prove me to myself that Its true. I don't have to now prove it to anyone or even myself that it is true. We both have recognized each other though we have not discussed this thing as the right time has not yet come. I must say that me and my better half (my twin flame) we are both living our own lives with the ones we got married to. We love each other immensely, and so deeply that I am even sure we can die for each other if so needed. but we never persuade each other to take any such step that might hurt our near ones or the society in whole. Any step taken for our personal benefit but which could bring suffering to our spouses or children is not acceptable in any aspect. We are always at peace when we talk to each other, always understand each others feelings somehow. Love each others company and always connected spiritually. We always long to meet each other in person too. we have never met in real life. can you believe that !!! yes we have never met in real life. Met on a singers website and progressed through internet, chatting and webcam and picture sharing. And I was not looking for a soul mate or twin soul. just received him as a gift through will of god. I have never ever had any such kind of affair or relationship with anybody in my lifetime. Not even with my husband. When I met my twin soul, instantly a godly intervention told me that he is one you belong to, and I believe this that there was no one before him and there won't be anyone else after him. I belong to him with all my spirit and I believe he also has same feeling for me. We are made for each other. No matter what karmas or deeds we have to accomplish on this physical plane, but we are going to reunite with god's mercy when right time comes. It could be months,or yrs. time doesn't exist for such unions I guess. But when this happens there shall be nothing but happiness all round us. Thanx for reading what I have I have shared here. just hope it could render a bit of help for the seekers here. any comments from you people are welcome. Don't know much about this forum, as I have joined a few moments back. Good luck to everyone.:-)

Very interesting-- thanks for sharing (and welcome to the forum!). May I ask you a general question about your culture? I was wondering if extramarital affairs are commonplace and pretty much expected, since the marriages are arranged?

I ask because I am thinking of a friend who's in a different culture but also in essentially an arranged marriage, and she says affairs are quite common (not condoned but pretty much expected). She says marriage isn't intended for love - that's what affairs are for.

Originally Posted by Rin

This too shall pass.

Unless it doesn't.

^ (she says, 15 years later... still waiting for it to pass... )

Originally Posted by Divine-Love

Ouch! I think I hit a sore spot. Obviously, I should have expanded more. Husband and I have had previous problems before twin flame came along. My bags aren't packed or anything, and believe me, my husband and I have talked many nights and days about our problems. I was looking for some sound advice in dealing with and having a twin flame while married, so I don't feel like I have to leave my husband. Thanks :)

If you've been lurking you already know what I will say. I condone honesty. It's a lot easier to be honest if you and this other man have not crossed any lines (emotional or physical). Tell your husband you are having feelings for another man. You do not need to make this some dramatic foreboding announcement. Just test the waters and tell him you have developed a crush. See how he reacts and take it from there.

I don't know your husband and how he will deal with that bit of information, but honesty is always the best policy. Perhaps he has his own secret crushes and you will find he reassures you that it is okay to harbor your own. And that by sharing, you burst the bubble of secrecy, allowing you to grow closer in your connection to your husband, and find the power this other man has over you quickly fades.

Or, it'll shine a light on just how bad your problems are and the need for your husband to work with you to address them. These are the words I used, years and years ago when my kids were small, "I'm afraid I'm going to cheat if we do not resolve our problems. If you won't go to marital counseling with me, then I'd rather get divorced than cheat, because I'm not a cheater." You see, I didn't make it about the TF at all -- because (way back then) it wasn't about him. All he did was make me realize how awful the situation I was in, and that it HAD to change.

I will say that having young children is a tremendous stress on any marriage. One of the most common times to have an affair are when children reach around age 4.

Dear @ serpent queen. In our culture it is quite uncommon thing to have an affair after marriage. we 99 % of us devote are completely towards the one we get married to. Having an extramarital affair is considered a highly in ethical concept. As for me I never had an affair with any man. not even before marriage. This affair it one may call it so just happened instantaneously 8 months back. and I did not have any control on it. everything slipped out of my hands and i rather felt it to be god's will somehow. In India and specifically in our religion marriage is considered a highly sacred and auspicious bond. unless something major breaks it apart. we are totally committed to our marriage partner and family bonding. :-)