Tough Love or Twin Flame? Deceased Soulmate?

[Intergalactic]

Hi so I thought I found a soul mate in J. We were together years and had two kids, we were even married 2 years. We supported each other and seemed to connect on a chakra and spiritual energy level. We helped each other... and saw the best in each other. And at first supported each other's dreams.

Then we had a horrible breakup. He treated me horribly and our kids worse in some ways. He valued material things and then he became depressed. He wouldn't take care of himself, mentally or physically. I moved out with the kids and got a stay away order. I sent him divorce papers and the next thing you know they found he had died alone. By his own hand? We may never know really.

In the middle of this I was dating E briefly but intensely. When I looked at him it was like I was glimpsing the divine just from his energy. He had a beautiful aura and we connected on spiritual levels I never dreamed of. He even knew what auras were - lol sorry I never dated anyone that did though. He kept up with me spiritually and mentally. He pushed me to be my best self through tough love (which made me think more twin flame or half twin flame energy). And it was like I was on cloud 9 for weeks. He helped me immensely in life several times right around the time we met... I'm still shocked at all he did for me and the kids...

And now I'm in a bad separation period where everything is irritating him and triggering my ptsd/past relationship trauma. He is one of those people who doesn't want to get too close - fear of rejection - so he keeps them at arms length to protect himself. I have co dependency and fear of abandonment issues along with a lot of as yet unhealed trauma of past relationship. I'm insecure. He has rage issues he's working on and has gotten very far. It's like we can show each other our weaknesses BUT we ourselves have to over come them. But we give each other just enough support and insight... to overcome those habits.

Tough Love but Twin Flame? And did I accidentally kill my soulmate? Or at least lead to his demise? I dont' know if I'll ever know this life time. Just wondered if anyone had any insight.

[lostsoul13]

You aren’t the reason...but reincarnation is...maybe as a twin flame journey -you need this...especially if the kids are his, he has some rights in the laws, and I’m sure nothing will take that away...maybe a reason needs you to see...to understand these holds tonight... you can climb every mountain and swim every ocean but if your in these dynamics nothing will stop the lessons even if you’ve died some where inside as well... I suppose these flames are pointing to a painful growth, but nothing is your fault... you can only share the dreams and love, and carry more than just secrets... fighting against all odds...I can still see a future in your eyes...just rest and deserve the perfect, tonight... as for the runner stages these need to be purged out every twin flame journey is difficult and different...your atoms are spinning the same, entangled as the same, maybe these emotions could give you some insight in purgatory-; the difference of is it your fault? When it isn't... and the anger these emotions Can bring up... maybe some growth for you to go through that you don’t understand yet, look all the let with the children you’ve been through -it has to make you stronger...

I know with my kids and death can be a big love... i renember their dreams came true, and it said sometimes it hurts in love and others it lasts instead...this was something the account was experience together...I renember my twin flames face...that love doesn’t die with us but lives with us...

We are entangled somehow, and experience the similar... Maybe the twin flame journey needs you to see this? We don't want to look near death as its entanglement is nothing no one wants to go through but it needs to be present, so there is growth- it's a difficult journey- not one to be carried lightly... It can be a burden but it needs not to be-

Death was a stage where I meet destiny and overcame pain and fears and I carry them with my other lives- we just infinite's - we can never 'get off ' we must keep going and it always be- it's a lesson for the lesson - a headache... And it does t go away- but only better things are to come - like being closer to your true self!