Hi Sweetie!

[jazzy911]

Oh yeah it's summer, something like 35 degrees celcius today. I should have been at home in the air conditioning instead but oh well I survived. lol
Starbucks is pretty good in my opinion, and they can make almost any kind of drink you want, simple or fancy, fresh fruit, espresso, etc.
Tomorrow I'm doing absolutely nothing and it will be great, lol, I hope you get to relax too.

[FallingLeaves]

yeah it was about that here too... I should probably go out in it but I've been lazy in my old age... lol... i wish i could have a do-nothing day, tomorrow though I get to go see my parents. But Oh I guess I get a holiday on the 4th of July anyway....

[FallingLeaves]

well
probably
he should apologize
just
he doesn't want that to mean
he is indebted
to the other person,
to have to relate to them
in some arbitrary way
that doesn't suit his fancy
just because he apologized.

And neither does he want
to be dragged into
to another one of their dramas
where it is assumed
again
that he must have
some ulterior
(and essentially bad)
motive
just because he wanted to apologize.

It hurts his head
all the ways
they will assume
he is being bad
when actually he isn't

which is why
he never wants to talk
to people
and you have to drag him into
doing things with others.

but now that he has a little distance
he just doesn't want
to get dragged into
all their awful recriminations
yet again

and the only way
he knows
to do that
is just stay clear.

yeah it would be
a nice thing to do
to apologize
but all the bad things
that would come of it
while people are turning through their lessons
just make it not worth any effort

For once
he guesses
he is going to do
an awful thing
and just hold his tongue.

[FallingLeaves]

its sunny
and 93
but his head feels frozen today

at the store
he had to be told
three times about something
before he actually understood
what was being said

then again at the store
he lost his way again...

they must think him addled...

this is really weird...

[FallingLeaves]

They seem to
feel sorry for him
now

he used to hate it
when they get like that

now it is almost a relief...

[FallingLeaves]

ive felt
lately
like on a slippery slope
not knowing what to do
do i grab this?
or do I grab that?

today I decided
again
it is silly
to be grabbing at things
just because they are there

and besides
I went to lots of effort
because I wanted what I wanted
and just throwing it out now
like throwing out the baby with the bathwater
does not seem like such a good idea...

but I do reserve the right
to change my mind
sometime later
lol

for now
though
things are just fine
just the way they are

[FallingLeaves]

one of the
most difficult things
I ever had to do
was to learn
to accept
the unacceptable

I'm like anyone
I just didn't want to
and couldn't see a way to
accept things
I didn't want to accept

But now I'm glad
I did find a way
at least as much
as I was able

[FallingLeaves]

he should probably
quit complaining about
the fact
he'll always be
on the outside looking in

[FallingLeaves]

he can never do anything right.

Sigh.

[FallingLeaves]

as far as being
on the outside
looking in

maybe it will help
if he finally decides
he's good enough
the way he is
he has enough
the way he is

lonely though

sigh.