Breakups

Whats some good ways of releasing someone that you've broken up with?. I've broken up with my boyfriend and I know its for the best... its just hard thinking about him and seeing him hurting so much...any ideas anyone?

Alana

Dear Alana

I shared a relationship with one of my boyfriends for a period of ten years... We met when we were both twenty, and we parted ways at the age of thirty. We lived together the whole time. We loved eachother dearly, and learned alot about ourselves throughout the years that we spent together. He was extremely kind hearted and gentle. As the years passed, I felt that we were no longer growing together; we were slowly growing apart. I noticed as time went by, that we shared less in common than we once did. Our view points were different to the point that we could no longer find any middle ground to agree upon. I hoped during the last two years of our relationship that we could one day see eye to eye on the things I felt were important to enable us to continue forward, hand in hand, along our shared path. I hoped to no avail..... I slowly started to accept that he was he, and I was I.

During the last two years, I was detaching little by little, and as a result, was falling out of love with him. As our tenth year rolled around, I knew in my heart that it was time for me to move on... We were living in two very different spaces. I told him one day that I was leaving...The shock was incredible to him... I know that he thought that we would never part. I stayed with some friends for a while to gather my thoughts, and figure out how to do this as gently as I possibly could. There were no instruction books on the subject.

During the breakup period, we lived through every emotion you could possibly imagine. He often said that he knew what he had done wrong, and was willing to make changes. He begged me to stay with him, with the look of total despair in his eyes. His pain was overwhelming.

I told him that he was not responsible for anything, and neither was I. We had reached this point in our story...period. It had nothing to do with being right or wrong.

I believe that when we make important decisions in our lives, we do so because we feel it is in our own best interest. Sometimes these decisions will affect others, we have absolutely no control over that. The only thing we can do is be sensitve, caring, steadfast and honest about how we are feeling. Nobody is at fault, no blame should ever be placed on anyone. To make choices in our own best interest, I believe, is an act of loving self. Life to me, is a series of choices. When a situation is no longer comfortable, it is time move forward and make room for something new


Love and Hugs to you Alana, during this difficult time xoxo....

Wind of Grace xo....

Awww thankyou for that. You must have been put in my path to help me:). I'm going through a similar situation and his reaction has been the same and the guilt I'm feeling is enormous. My boyfriend and I have grown apart as well and I realised over the past 2 months I was no longer in love with him and that we were both heading in different directions. You give me hope that things will get better. Thankyou from the bottom of my heart:)

I am jumping with joy, I love it when we can help each other!

Hugs for both of you

Love to all
cw

Sending huge hugs to you all

I have been through a very similar thing this past year and I know how hard it can be.

You are all very kind... xo ...

When I had questions about life, and the sometimes difficult decisions that I was faced with, I was, and still am, truly grateful to my close friends who were always there to share their points of views, and unwavering support. Life, for me, is all about sharing and encouraging eachother along our individual paths. I'm grateful to be able to share with all of you.....

Love and Hugs Forever, Wind of Grace xo....

love and light to you........am trying very hard too. It's very very hard to let go especially after 18 years.....but the time is coming big hug to you
XXX

hi all

my situation is a bit different as it was completely taken out of my hands (see my blog)... but to be honest was thinking of leaving him for years... and now it's done...

One thing u can do in mediation is visualise a large number 8, and see ur partner in one circle and u in the other. Look at the lines of energy between u and which chakras they are going to (they might appear to u as chains or ropes, or anything ribbons even whatever) see what u see. then take some scissors (or whatever is apropriate) and cut these ties that bind u in the centre then at the root - chakras... for both of u ... (this is an exercise I learned in Cutting the ties that Bind - can't remember author - sure it'll be easy to google it) ..

then u visualise a blue light moving round and round the shape of the figure 8, and eventually u see the 2 circles coming apart...

U do this every day for 7 days... it should help the split to be more amicable..

another thing u can do is visualise urself by the sea or a river and see ur partner getting onto a raft and waving goodbye. See mint green colour (in a globe ) around them and urself (separately of course). And u wave goodbye too as they sail off to their new life...

Hope any of this helps guys,

love n light to all

Janspirit x x

[Emmalevine]

Sending massive hugs to everyone going through a breakup There are no easy ways, but you will get through it. My marriage broke up last May, and it was so painful, but knew in my heart it was right. Now I look back and see what a toxic relationship it was, and how we just couldn't be together,we were hurting eachother terribly. We are friends now, but at first it was so hard. He couldn't accept we had broken up and and he would turn up at my flat in the night, begging me to go back to him. He then threatened to kill himself if I didn't - he was in so much pain. He couldn't see that I was too, but I knew it had to end as the marriage had never been right for me. I strongly believe that some people just aren't right for us. I knew intutively I shouldn't have married him, but I had no confidence then and I was seeking security outside myself.

In the end I wrote him a letter saying I still cared about him, but it wasn't right for us to be together and we needed to move on to find people that we could grow with. I said I didn't blame him for anything, or myself, it was just the way things were. The letter worked as he finally accepted I wouldn't go back to him. ow we are good friends and share parenting of our little boy. We're both still single but much happier. He seems happier now and his music career has really taken off. When he was with me he developed in confidence and left his office job to start his own music business. He is a very creative, artistic person and just needed the incentive to go somewhere with his music. I like to think that we were with eachother for a reason and now we have both learnt from it and moved on.

So I guess what has helped me is faith that we were together for a purpose, and it has ended for a purpose, and that we will grow from it. I hope that anyone facing this kind of pain will be able to come to terms with things. It's very hard, but life can change for the better. There will be someone else out there for us when the time is right.

Make suee you express your emotions - don't keep them bottled up - not good. Grieving is hard but it gets the pain out of your system and it strengths your soul.

Hugs to all going through this

Hi Everyone

Some great experiences being shared her & advice being given respect to you all..

It is possible to love someone but not be in love with them sounds contradictory but for those who understand it does make sense.

Love, light & blessings & hugs to you all Moonflower x