I fell in love with a man and I now need to walk away help

[Miamoo]

In September I came on here quite desperate for guidance. It was like a love at first sight situation with a man working at my neighbours. I didn't understand the intense feelings I had towards him. But I remember before knowing anything about him feeling I wanted to know he was ok and the urge to send him love. It was very odd. He left the job.

3 weeks later he's still in my head. I'm seeing 7 and 47 everywhere. I suddenly see his Facebook profile in my friend suggestions. I hover over it then nervously click add with no further plans.

The next morning he accepts and sends me a message. Within half an hour of messaging he said he thought I was beautiful the moment he saw me.

We've been inseparable the last three months. Covid has stopped us meeting lately. But we've connected massively through phone conversations and texts. But his story is complicated.

Be tries to commit suicide 8 months ago. He suffers from depression. As I've learned about him and the heartbreak he's experienced we've gotten closer. He's never recovered from the death of a parent. He's had Alot of heartache that I can't write on here as it's a long story.

He works in construction and is very masculine. He loves alone now and is 6 months into recovery. He's stopped drinking etc. He talks about his mother who passed alot. He said a few weeks ago he thinks she sent me to him. He often sees her in my comments or opinions. He has sent me gifts. He's very loving. Very kind.

But unfortunately for the second time this month he's going through a horrible patch with his depression. So bad that he barely spoke to me this week. He was rude to me. He made me doubt everything. He is really hard to figure out right now. He's just difficult. He's complaining about how people annoy him. Stating things he doesn't like. Making me feel a future with him would be extremely hard. He was really harsh to me yesterday when I tried to talk to him about how it was making me feel.

Today he's improved alot. But he's far from ok. He said a couple of things that made me say if you just want us to be friends then we don't need to carry this on. He told me he loved me the moment he saw me and if love means to me what it means to him then I should know he loves me and that he wants a future with me. Nobody else.

But I sadly no longer feel secure or strong enough. He's too complicated. He's so difficult at the moment and sadly this could be how things will be on a regular basis. I don't like it. I don't like overthinking. Worrying if he's going to a nightmare. So I'm sat here thinking what now?

Do I give up 3 months of happiness and hope because his mental health is bad. Do I take things to heart and listen to my gut? Do I try and be more understanding and ride it out?

It felt like something pushed us together to meet. He believes it was his mum. I felt something stronger than I've ever felt before with him. I just knew when I saw him. I thought I'm going to love that man.

Thanks for reading and please drop me any advice you have. Thanks.