Letter to my soulmate???

[lostsoul13]

So I wrote my soulmate a letter~

Explaining I’m searching for her, found her and am okay we lead different life’s. That she got her own life and fate might not [definitely will not] bring us together in the next 500 years- reincarnation,location,gender.

But while I know and see her daily, dream of her- I’ve kinda gotten over the chaser dynamics, and can wait till she ‘wakes up’ and finds me… at least subconsciously she is calling my name daily and I’ve seen her expression whilst she has been saying it~

I know it will all click for her…

Who her true love is- and gosh behold I’m sniffing around- but being very careful…

I have to be true to my self- I’m not a person to keep hounding someone I love.

But that’s just it the love is unconditional- I have to let go with that and leave it to the universe…

That said… I have much to learn, skills, survival, reincarnation:

I suppose I’m kinda ‘over her’ already “ fancying her”gosh she’s beautiful don’t get me wrong. But I know that the right time to find her beautiful is when she’s in my arms.

I’m not upset she had a family. I dream of them often.

I just feel I want some separation because I know we are soulmates and it’s inevitable that one day life will bring us together.. I will tell her these story’s - if I don’t lose my centre reincarnating.. if I will remember..


And I’m sure she wouldn’t find it out of character- that I messaged her, I was around - but I didn’t want to suffer…

I feel stalemated… fed up. With the dreams and constant thinking. Synchronicity’s.

When we are in a place that we will reunite.. I know she is the chaser- with my clan and my status I know she will see me as someone she will fancy and want to pursue … I feel my clan come first especially Carly.

So I know that I’ve been giving a blessing in disguise by finding her first than yet she decided on the name and her true love which she keeps secret and guarded with her own life- for her better life… her paradise…

She’s got something in mind and I know I tick everything because I know she will see Carly and find it interesting I’m the only male in a girl dominated world- I must be loving, caring, sensitive…

When in fact I’m aloof, strict and nothing will tear me away from giving my Carlys the best life possible, being their angel..

She would want that I’m her angel also- while I am, I don’t want to be- I don’t want to be Carly’s angel either but it’s up to me to protect what’s mine- the grass is always greener???

I have what’s mine, I want away from it because it’s like a burden - especially to die… to watch others die…

But in all that I want her to be happy, content and loved. She is loved: but love isn’t enough!!!

I’m kinda breaking up with her in this letter I sent..

But it isn’t her; it’s me.. when she found me and remembered she will understand….

That’s just the only problem she does remember unconsciously even consciously- just not enough for life to bring us together…

She’s got lessons; yet in her form and beauty- her one flaw is she already has everything there.. the smile,laugh, humour, conversation- intelligence etc

If not me then Carly’s she would feel the pull towards..

Knowing they are more in her future than I …

When all the girls get together and you been going through reincarnation for a while and pain is the only thing you remember- you will remember your friends, your clan-

And how you can recognise every woman and girl that should be around you while men are from mars…

It’s the friend of friend and the truth that you will follow and you know what the truth is…

At least you can’t see it now because it’s not in front of you- but one day it will be.. and I’ll be in the background protecting. Fearless from lessons of lifetimes of reincarnation and pain and death..

That’s the only thing in the way.. I won’t let it destroy the dream-

The dream woman made so many years ago, the dream of choosing a man, the children ( I mean the biggest part of it all is it couldn’t be helped- you were actually real, they were actually real)

It was the only pact, sisterhood….

Maybe the egg theory for good measure???

————

I feel I can breathe now. Life doesn’t evolve around me. But in the future I can’t get away from my responsibilities to the pact, to the clan..

To my soulmates and twin flame!!

I guess I just wanna believe it’s not real and be someone else. To wish my life was my life- I guess when your dreams come true you want something else or it was to easy[ well it wasn’t easy death is between us]

I know that I will have to live and wait it out being sure of my self but the only reason for this letter is I’m unsure of my self because I know I dreamed a different dream- it’s just I know your at the end- when everything true to the life is beginning to come together…I know your one of the ones that are there in the clan..

Even the clan says we shouldn’t date.

I guess I know it’s the other way around. And can avoid you at all cost sabotaging your place in the clan, but then I would be doing that a lot!!

I can be multiple selfs away from the core of the self but the paradox commits…

I guess I’m saying you Are not enough.. or that my true destiny isn’t enough????