past long distance relationship. never met in real life.

memo20 · #1 24-05-2016, 03:25 AM

Met 4 years ago. Moved on and he has a new gf we never met in person. I can't get over him and although he has a gf he messaged me saying how much he thinks about me all the time and how he misses me. what do u make of this. We went a year without talking as well then he messages me saying that. Why does he if we've never met in person?

RiverL · #2 24-05-2016, 11:02 AM

You don't have to meet someone in person to have a connection to them. You call your connection with this person a "relationship," which would imply you had a strong level of emotional connection, and probably quite a bit of communication. Those things aren't limited by distance, nor are they entirely dependent on being physically present with one another.

As for why he's messaging you something like that when he's in a relationship with someone else... to me, that's rather sketchy behavior, since it would appear he's going behind his girlfriend's back to try to rekindle something with you. That would be cheating, unless he's told his girlfriend he's doing it and she's okay with it. So I would tread carefully from that standpoint.

Baile · #3 24-05-2016, 11:53 AM

Easy:

"Once you are no longer in a relationship, I would be thrilled to get together with you and go out for dinner."

Ignore him after that until if and when things change for him.

Mused · #4 24-05-2016, 04:25 PM

He has a gf and hes far from you...I doubt his gf knows what hes up to

Even if his feelings are real, he needs to step up and make decisions about his current rship and his plans with you - if any. Otherwise, nothing good will come out of this

002 Cents · #5 24-05-2016, 05:55 PM

As someone who prefers online dating to in person dating, I can honestly say when it comes to people you meet online you will always fill in the blanks with the best possible things.

I woke to a ______________ morning; the scnet of _____________ wafting in through the window. I could sense today was going to be _____________.

^^^^^ Is online dating.

All those little things you fill in the with the best possible thing.

I woke to a crisp, cool, spring morning; the scent of oleander wafting in through the window. I could sense today was going to be amazing.

When maybe in reality it looks a bit more like

I woke to a dank, sticky, mildly nauseating morning; the scent of road kill wafting in through my window. I could sense today was going to be challenging.

I think there is a bit of psychosis involved in people convincing themselves that someone is their one and only without having met. Believe me I have been there more than once.

The only way to know would be to actually meet.

I met my husband online and we have been together for 11 years now so it can work.

But 4 years having never met... be realistic. Get your head out of the clouds.

If it were a game of Texas Hold em I would say don't bet on the cards you want to have, bet on the cards you DO have.

His warm feelings are not enough. In fact even in real life relationships Love is not enough. You have to make a good team.