Death - to take a life in thought - but not act

[Lynn]

Hello

I wanted to explore that darker side it is said we all might have. When I worked on "Cold Cases" for the local authorities and even the Federal Authorities I had to have a lot of "Psychotically Testing" done.

As the results were as it was put clinically interesting they wanted to do more. Brain Mapping where they look at with a scan those active node regions that might well show what shapes what we do or can do. For me that was the brain map of a Serial Killer with that one important zone active that "Right and Wrong" center, that to me is that Karmic Debt zone where you think it and you can feel it, what it would be like to "do it" but you know well that it WRONG and actions would never happen.

For me this is that place with the EX I know I could do it, would honestly LOVe to do it and would take great pleasures in knowing he was GONE but I would never act on it. NO I never tried anything on him just had some very vivid dreams and dark thoughts....without actions.

I do admit there were LOTs of opportunities to do something. leaning over a third floor railing so drunk one small shove and gone....out a 3 story window or a 10 floor window and the same one shove and gone.

Poisons - natural and not traceable....but when you look up how long and how painful death is I do wonder now "anyone even the insane" can do such.

What stops most of us is that Karmic center in our brain. I do not feel its emotions at times or that remorse one would have. I was told had "no feelings" around his passing if it was to come. I was "stone cold" towards his very life breath.

My kids would remind me that actions have Karma to them....and I would go I know I am just watching what happens not talking actions on what happens. Too I was reminded that death might not come...that I could land with worse a "vegetative individual" to care for.

So do we all have this side to us ? Just that we do not all have the opportunity to be hard wired and studied ?

The brain is an interesting part of our whole. Now that my kids are adults they laugh at those days....going OH Mom we find it so funny how it makes you smile at the dreams as that is all they ever will be dreams.

I too know well from my Past Lives I have had some darker one's that had a historic role to them in whom I was as a person then.

Emotionless - to have no emotions or remorse center must be the darkest of places to live in. This is the place of a Serial Killer.

Lynn

[PecaS]

I think we all have that. I do have to congratulate you on knowing your reach. I often find myself thinking what would I do if I needed to "defend" myself against an attack? Lay down and get killed or fight for dearlife.

I do not have an Ex; in my case was my biological father. One serious piece of ****; to give you just a light idea (because I know that many will raise their eyebrows to the thought of a daughter expressing like that about her father). My father got into an argument with my sister, back then she was doing social service as part of her university education, so she had to do about one year.

It was a difficult area and my father was "helping her" fight the type of men in power that think that any woman underneath them has the obligation to spread their legs for them and do whatever they bid them to do. So, anyway, my sister was supposed to type some letter my father wanted her to, she did not want to. they argued, my sister left for her location and we learned that those pesky idiots were on the verge of raping my sister.

they were plotting and planning. I was scared, I told him, he replied: "I hope and wish they rape her so that she understands that she has to obey me".

My father was a manipulative piece of ****, so I did learn to manipulate. I just choose not to. In this time and occasions, I manipulated him so that he would do MY bidding. He got my sister out before any harm happened.

So, yes. I did also considered and plotted and thought about doing stuff. from magical stuff to physical stuff. What stopped me every time was the idea that why would I go to jail for such a turd? Back then we could not get rid of him.

Now, he's dead. he died alone, he did not regret one single thing. Neither my sister nor me were with him or visited him or saw him in the last 10 years of his life.

and someone said that he saw him after his death and he was in a grey world building a wall. learning about his mistakes....

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by Lynn

So do we all have this side to us ? Just that we do not all have the opportunity to be hard wired and studied ?

On a personal level I suspect that we do all have this side to us. I do not think that any of us have tendencies unique to ourselves, but instead we all share the entire range of possible human behaviour. We criticise in other people those things we deny in ourselves.

Some people may act on these tendencies, others will not. Maybe we wish that someone would die or at least disappear from our lives because we think that our life would be so much better without them. But most of us refrain from direct action to bring this about.

Perhaps there is fear of being caught and punished. Perhaps we have the idea that certain acts are sinful. Perhaps our conscience, the small voice of the Soul, tells us that we should not take such action. And if past lives are a reality then no doubt we have all done terrible things to other people, and perhaps we have learned that this is not the way to behave.

Our spiritual maturity dictates our choices in life. As we evolve spiritually, actions such as pushing our EX off a high building may no longer present themselves as possible options. Instead, we may observe them with compassionate detachment as someone sent to teach us valuable lessons.

Peace

[Still_Waters]

QUOTE 3 EXCERPT:

Originally Posted by iamthat

Our spiritual maturity dictates our choices in life. As we evolve spiritually, actions such as pushing our EX off a high building may no longer present themselves as possible options. Instead, we may observe them with compassionate detachment as someone sent to teach us valuable lessons.

As you duly noted, I think that all of us may have a "dark side" in our formative stages. However, as you also mentioned, there is a point during spiritual evolution where those feelings "no longer present themselves as possible options".

There is a Prayer for Peace that we say at our ashram and I still say it at least once daily. Two particular lines come to mind:

"May all be happy.
May all be peaceful."

As I would say those lines at one time, there would come to mind some people who were particularly problematic in my life at that time and I would edit those lines to:

"May all be happy.... EXCEPT ..."
"May all be peaceful ... EXCEPT ... "

Simultaneously, I also had some very strong feelings about those people but it never translated into harmful actions though, at that particular time, I would not have been particularly disturbed if something happened to them.

I discussed this with my teacher at one point and she emphatically reminded me that there is no "EXCEPT" in that prayer and that the word "ALL" literally means "ALL".

That was difficult for me to accept initially but, eventually (not immediately ), I was able to eliminate the "EXCEPT" and focus on the "ALL" so that, as you also mentioned, I was finally able to "observe them with compassionate detachment as someone sent to teach us valuable lessons".

This is easier said than done ... and this was obviously not easy for me as it took quite a while to get past this "dark side".

Great post regarding breaking away from our "dark side".

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by Lynn

Emotionless - to have no emotions or remorse center must be the darkest of places to live in.
This is the place of a Serial Killer.

25 yrs ago I read 'Intensity' by Dean Koontz...
I really understood the mind of a serial killer because of that book.
They have as much feeling as a tiger following his instinct.

[Native spirit]

I think this is something that most people can relate to, i know i can A few years ago something happened i felt such rage from it it concerned my daughter and what a Pastoral support worker told her, she started crying she came home told me.

The next day i went into the school with a body bag i was going to kill this woman. she was hiding because she saw me walking in, she went into an office i kicked the door in. i was literally going to kill her.

so i can totally relate to getting in toutch with my dark side, when i was young anyone that spoke to me if they had Blonde hair i would hit them i hated blonde haired people. i have no friends with Blonde hair at all.


Namaste

[Guillaume]

Hey crow lover too here!

Freud quoted Plato saying: "The good person dreams what the bad one does in reality".
(I can't find the official translation, it should be in "The Interpretation of Dreams").
EDIT: "the virtuous man contents himself with dreaming that which the wicked man does in actual life."


Anyways, if we can't sleep correctly, we just go crazy.
And usually it's the people we live with that are taken responsible for it.

Alcohol for a long time, stimulants of all sorts ... they all affect sleep and can make the border between dream and reality more permeable.

Hopefully angels watch over us!

EDIT: back from my morning run, I can't help sharing the wonderful beautiful energy I received

[Guillaume]

This thread is really aligned with a topic I'm working on this week, this is great!

At the time I'm writing this, someone is burning incense in the building. The energy is crazy good today, I love it!

Anyways, I'm trying to figure out, with some kind of visuals (that I may share) what triggers our will to act.
At the moment, I'm thinking of fears and pains that get our energy lower and lower, and at some point, it triggers something within us that activates our will to act.
There needs to have some kind of memory imprint. I don't know, I have that impression that this is some kind of relationship between memory imprint and will. Emotions and memory are very inter-related anyways, so ... - yep I need to work on that.
As long as we are in pain, we sort of sleep, we are not fully awake. But then, that burst of energy suddenly wakes us up, and we act to stop the pain.
That's a survival mechanism.

There is also another dimension. The more pain we have, the more we focus our awareness. We curl up our awareness (like we curl up in fetal position) to be able to have it focused on something not painful I guess, to have some kind of relief. To the point we are not able to be aware of ourselves and someone else at the same time anymore.

On the contrary, meditation, love and the good vibes raise our energy, to the point it can tickle our will to act. But for the good only, to make things even better.
And it also widens and opens up our awareness to include many beings, people, plants or animals, and feel all connected.

[Native spirit]

I can tell you what triggers it for me is Injustice any kind of injustice, i will fight it,


Namaste

[Still_Waters]

QUOTE 7 EXCERPT:

Originally Posted by Guillaume

Freud quoted Plato saying: "The good person dreams what the bad one does in reality".

I'd never heard that ... but it is very insightful.