i need some advice over a twin flame

[Thomas92]

So basically when i was lil boy i had this dreams about a girl that i would meet, end up with and marry eventually. These dreams were very vivid, and well kinda prophetic of nature cause alot of things in those dreams came to be.

About a year and half ago i met this girl, and just like that it was this instant magnetic connection, i move right she moves right, she moves left i move left, i sit down she sits down near me. We were a lil bit drunk that night and there was about 5 more people there and everybody had their own thing going but only the of us like laughed and joked the whole time like we were in our own world, even this random dude that came asked us "how long are we together" and were like no were not together, and hes like no way.
Anyways after that i added her on social media and we started to talk a lil, she was a lil rejective and stuff off me and well i was a lil pushy cause i kind of rememebered all from that dream and i knew she was that girl,and i found out she has a boyfriend so i backed off a lil. And then in this long period off our on and off talks,
the more i figured out how much issues she has and how much similiar issues we actually shared and how much alike we are, and basically the more i saw she was that girl i dreamt about. Until recently, like well 4 months ago, we started to get really close, she had this panic attacks and anxiety which i have all my life and since i knew how to deal with it i helped her out and i was there for her, and we got close, then she went to work abroad cause she works in a resort somewhere during the summer holidays and shes all alone there for 5 months away from bf and friends and everyone..and basically asked me well she didnt say it but i saw what she needed and i promised her i would be there for her so shes not alone.
And from that point forward there we got really really closer and like we talked everyday since we woke up until she left to bed, and i was always there so she could fall asleep cause she had issues with it being all alone there. And well since the person who was suppost to that, her boyfriend wasnt.. ofc i did everything so she feels better, im that kind of person i just cant let anybody suffer, especcialy someone who is so much like me and i understand her so much. And eventually i started to feel something for her and i did the mistake of revealing my feeling often which kinda got us into alot of arguments and fights cause shes taken and it made her feel uncomfortable. So i said fine im just your friend and im going to stop with that, and i did. Then 2 weeks ago she was in a really bad place and she told me she broke up with her boyfriend, and was basically having the worst time of her life.
And what i did? the most stupidest thing possible...i listened to an advice from a friend to "go all in" and told her the same day that i have feelings for her. On the worst day of her life, while the only thing i needed to do was be there for her. Ofc that didnt end well, she even got back together with her bf almost the same day cause well, thats her she has so much issues shes really insecure and lost and ****ed up and
it was just one of those days "push everybody away days" and she loves him (god knows why cause that person doesnt understand one fkin thing about her and could never really be there for her). So we went into more arguments cause she cant be friends with somebody that has such feelings for her cause its not fair to him. And well okay i do agree.
And so i told her fine then i wont be friends with you like you wish. And there i was 4 days of *deleted*agony for me and i really wasnt gonna write her anything back atleast not for a while, and then she sends me "are you okay" message and puff were talkin again, shes even like "youll always be my friend, i just need space" and okay and were talkin and talkin and she tells me when shes goin to go back in 2 months and that
she will probably move to another town (cause she wants to finish school) but she will stay for a week, and im like then we can hang out..and no we cant cause i cant hang out with somebody who feels that way for me its not fair to my bf...and okay...i didnt even argue cause like at this point im like okay as long as shes in my life im fine. And i actually agree with her like "okay so we can be friends but we cant hang out in real life" and now shes even distant like...
hardly answers messages..like she not even okay with it or that she expected me to go away or something or is she trying for me to go away i dont know...so now im basically stuck in this s***...and i feel as if i was given a drug and that drug is now taken from me, like my whole life prepared me for this girl,
and i cant have her...and im really lost if she really is my twin flame, cause everything suggest she is...how to continue from this? im really lost i dont know what to do...i know id do anything to have this girl, even this *deleted* up, cause i know i can fix her cause i used to be just like her and feel exactly the same and i got better and
i know we can be so happy together...and im also wondering why did the universe tell me about all this so many years ago if its not going to happen..cause if she stays in the same town she wont hang out with me..if she leaves and maybe brakes up with her boyfriend cause she wont tell me but i can see on her they have issues....i still cant be with her cause she will be 400km away....im really lost...i dont know what to do...

[lostsoul13]

it started of great and then she drops a bomb shell on you... I don't know if you believe this is at a runner stage- because the dreams you've had ( if your sure it's her and not someone else...)these things can be fragile...you might have mistaken her because the situation is so tense.. if she's got a bf and she not prepared to leave him- maybe you have crossed wires?if she gave off that type of persona? that she lead you on? you might be better to have space for a while.. things seem like they are still heated up...there's nothing you can do but move on if she has a bf... regardless of what you feel or think- she will just lead you on- id wait for more signs, so you can tell if this is the girl you dreamed about or not.

[Thomas92]

Originally Posted by lostsoul13

it started of great and then she drops a bomb shell on you... I don't know if you believe this is at a runner stage- because the dreams you've had ( if your sure it's her and not someone else...)these things can be fragile...you might have mistaken her because the situation is so tense.. if she's got a bf and she not prepared to leave him- maybe you have crossed wires?if she gave off that type of persona? that she lead you on? you might be better to have space for a while.. things seem like they are
still heated up...there's nothing you can do but move on if she has a bf... regardless of what you feel or think- she will just lead you on- id wait for more signs, so you can tell if this is the girl you dreamed about or not.

Yeah the more i read it it does sound as if im talking about that.
I just cant explain the ways i know cause then id have to tell the dreams, cause there were plural and they were kinda happening across certain points of my life and it wasnt like a dream dream as if a movie like most dreams are it was different , and lots of stuff from those dreams came to be.
If id explain further people would think im insane, so im just going to stop at that. Thing is how i know shes my twin flame? We are basically the same person. Its really weird tbh, i didnt believe it at first until i researched about that, and really everything points to it not just the dreams i had about her 20yrs before i even met her, its like looking at a mirror .And the things that happened to us in our life and the issues we have are almost the same.
I met her at the time of her great need cause she started to experience all of those issues all at once 2 yrs ago she used to just like ignore them before but now they are coming out, and we connected really fast.
I mean i had crushes and felt love before in my life with many girls but how i feel towards this person, is something i cant explain even. feel as if id go to the ends of the earths if needee just so i can help her and she wouldnt suffer. I feel as if its my responsobility to help this person.
We have ups and downs but we always go back to eachother. Even now were talking again. Its really something i never experienced before, and after reading about it. Everything just made sense and either im crazy or its all true. And id love to think the latter. Anyways thanks for replying i appreciate it.

[RedEmbers]

It sounds to me as though she may have some deep and complex attachment style wounding. If you are interested to learn more, read about "Attachment Styles" in psychology.

If it were me I would be asking myself why I became attracted to such a dynamic in the first place - why did/does such a dynamic feel so electric and or comfortable to me?
Was it triggering past attachment patterns in me?

Then I would ask myself what it is going to take in myself to make myself more secure and attract, healthy and secure love with people who are also secure, healthy and compatible?

I see aspects of many (not all) of my past relationships as mirrors to my past trauma patterns and with each one, I have the choice to create new patterns based on more healthy and life affirming beliefs.

To be honest with you, a lot of what I read in this section about Twin Flames seems like insecure bonding over patterns developed from relational trauma, which probably began in infancy.

[Thomas92]

Originally Posted by RedEmbers

It sounds to me as though she may have some deep and complex attachment style wounding. If you are interested to learn more, read about "Attachment Styles" in psychology.

If it were me I would be asking myself why I became attracted to such a dynamic in the first place - why did/does such a dynamic feel so electric and or comfortable to me?
Was it triggering past attachment patterns in me?...

Actually she does, she is really emotionally scarred, she has severe trust issues and relationship issues, took me a long time to get trough to her to open up. Youre really good if you got that from this. Thing is how do i explain knowing alot of things about her life before she even told me. Thats what separates me thinking its just me connecting to her cause we share childhood traumas, i felt the connection the moment we met.
Cause litterally what happnt was she tells me her dad has PTSD and was blaming her all her life for everything, and in my head im like "yeah he fought in the war and his best friend died in his arms and it broke him" few days later she tells me the same thing. And im like sitting there wondering how in the *deleted* would i know that? Really baffles my mind. Anyways Ill just let it flow and what happens happens, overthinking it brings my anxiety up.Thanks for replying.

[Miss Hepburn]

Hi Thomas, Welcome here. The Administration has asked that we quote 2-3 sentences only.
I know, it's different than other forums --it's been going on for a few months now.
Thanks, and sorry for the inconvenience. I might as well mention, because of your
orig post, this is a family friendly forum -
so not even abbreviations of /swear bad words will be allowed.
Our Rules are a little diff than other Forums, too...you can find them under FAQ.
Thanks. :)

This is a good reminder for all to see.

[lostsoul13]

you might find it best to consecrate on what brought you to believe that (in your dreams- that one day you will marry here, that these things will come to friction...only you know and can develop your trust issues regarding the (late bf)- maybe she will leave him.. these things happen- sometimes it's for the best...

no one saying that you two ain't twin flames or having a relationship won't be for the benefit... it's just that we don't want to stay in our delusions , these things happen all the time and it everything turns out ok... unfortunately my twin flame was made from my 'rib' like Adam and Eve... so ive never gotten to ask her to leave someone so I can't imagine what you are going through... these things will find their place quite quickly- if you've dreamed you need to have faith that the inception will take its place and be among the vail between day and night and dream and waking... where ever you are developing these dreams is it possible that she has had some connection too? or maybe your experiencing time dilatation ?

[Aldous]

The only other story I know of IIRC about a dream of a girl you were meant to be with is this:

Tanzler (born on February 8, 1877, in Dresden, Germany) knew from a young age that he had a soulmate. When he was 12 years old, he dreamed of a woman who would leave an impression on his life forever. She revealed her face to him in his dream, and Tanzler knew at that moment that this was the woman he was meant to marry.

https://www.history101.com/carl-tanzler/

Originally Posted by Thomas92

why did the universe tell me about all this so many years ago if its not going to happen

karma plays out how it does and we get the experiences we planned, made to polish us like a stone in a river. the highest love wants nothing in return. the love itself is the reward, union with the highest love, letting it flow through us, as us. the more love we give, the more we get. it's an endless infinite supply. the ways you have helped her, the love you have given will come back to you ten fold when it's time. you both seem like very old souls that have taken on a lot in this life, even if she is not in your life in the way you would like, she is still a part of your life and one can see this as a gift.

[SaellekStar]

I'm not sure if you met your Twin. a real Twin would be compassionate toward you, and this sounds too tense and difficult for that connection...also, generally Twins do not meet randomly. You may have dreamed something that was not Twin Flame related. Not everyone has a Twin. My experience, the meeting was very orchestrated and not randomly. I've gotten along with random people who were a lot like me and they were Karmic Soul Mates, to teach me something, and that's not a bad thing! Before I realized who my Twin was, I would mistake other people for them...so maybe you have a Twin but it is not this particular person.