Reconnection - what now?

[AStites]

This week I refound a man I haven't seen in about 24 years. I was so young when we first met, likely around 17 to my early 20s. (Before cell phones )
We lost touch when I moved out West for school, my parents moved, my phone number was no longer valid.
When I first noticed him this weekend, I was working he was a customer, and well I noticed him. I was hoping to interact more, but he ended up siting in another section. But fate stops for no one, and I knew after seeing him closer that it wasn't just a cute man, but a man I knew from somewhere. Well I talked to him and we immediately realized who each other were.
Once that happened we basically talked every second we could. We had in the past not really dated, but things happened, and the chemistry between us was undeniable still.
I don't know what this all means however, because he obviously came back into my life for a reason. Of course there is always a but- but he is married with kids. When we first started talking to each other it felt like a mutual thank God I found you again feeling, then I felt let down realizing there were limits. Why put another peice of forbidden fruit in my life?
My guides weren't a lot of help, spelling out OK SIN COP (which he is) and LUST and DIVORCE after sending me 2s all day the next day.
I'm nervous as to how to proceed, mostly because I have little self control when it comes to such an intense feeling with someone. On the other hand I know we reconnected for a reason. So what now?

I guess you have to wait and see, not in your control, he has a free will on his own too and his own responsibility.

i believe in past lives and soulgroups and that the roles can shift but on a spirit or soul level we love each other.

me and a friend one time sat down and made a map of the people we knew and turns out it is frightening just how everything connected, they say it is a small world and it is.

if you are single but he is married . then he is the one who have to make a choice as I see it. I don't know what you could do. unless you want to have an affair which I gather in your information you don't want to and that wouldn't be right for nobody.

also sometimes in life we meet someone where that type of energy exists, that attraction and one has a choice to go yeah, i feel it but not act on it. or you could act on it but one is always responsible for how we treat other people and how we treat the people in our past and the people who has been good to us.

this could also be a new-thing as in the excitement of seeing him again and maybe this will wear off in time.

sorry if I sound like a let down. I wish you happiness of course.

[AStites]

Funny what you wrote, because last night I asked Guides, only talkative one showed up last night so Guide, what I should do about it, he kept spelling NOTHING. When I asked what 'he' (man from past) thought about the situation the reply was LOVE in regards to us and PANIC about the situation.
So hard to sit back, but I keep reminding myself that's all I can do!
Glad at least I've figured out a line of communication with my Guides though.
Side note he was messing with me last night, after he kept saying NOTHING asked if he could give me more - spelled out MORE, haha, so funny! What a butthead!

[lostsoul13]

Relationships with routines - it’s easy for me I’m not available-my twin pops up quoting we are together and not without war- twin flames,soulmates-lost lovers- if things were easy, then relationships would be routine... although something is bound to come up- immigration, travel, other mates, boundless and lawless - if he’s married and and is in a break up- I don’t see why you couldn’t initiate things further : if he’s stolidly married then you might want to wait- I know I have my hands full with my children and are more involved than my twin flame -my flame is curled up at the moment; - not that I’m deluded just the flame is deluded... so that means I’m on my own for a while- these handicaps are my guides-if I want to succeed to reunite I need to be alone at times... a prophecy realised by 3% of us... if your guidance is telling you : that he will be splitting up maybe there will be available for you to reunite, more than you have been...

[Ziusudra]

Originally Posted by AStites

This week I refound a man I haven't seen in about 24 years. I was so young when we first met, likely around 17 to my early 20s. ....
....On the other hand I know we reconnected for a reason. So what now?

Ok,
Sometime, people cross each other's path briefly to "remind" self reflect", or to "learn".
The energy intensity has to be there in order for both people to stop and to acknowledge.

It is not about romance, especially when the other person is already in a committed relationship.

You have to review your current "self" and your current life situation to determine what message that this brief encounter taught you or made you aware of.
Or
Maybe this encounter is for him to remind something from his past or about his life. This may not be about you.

I recently had a very brief encounter with a man that I met almost 20yrs ago.
Based on how he spent his last 20yrs regarding relationships, it reminded me that I actually made a right choice back then by avoiding someone like him.
A dashing man who is superficially desirable but unable to love any woman deeply and unable to make any strong commitment.

After I met him 20yrs ago, I met and married my ex husband. Although my marriage did not last, I have experienced marriage dynamics and learned about myself. My marriage was not a failure but it was actually how it was supposed to be. Based on the lessons learnt from my marriage, my marriage was actually a success and I gained a friend for life (as my ex is still a friend).

The universe arranged that brief encounter with the past guy this time for a reason.

In my case,
It was a good reminder for me to focus on what I am looking for in my future life partner. - And not be distracted by the fancifulness and superficial qualities.

[Ziusudra]

.......................dup

AStites post#3:
Funny what you wrote, because last night I asked Guides, only talkative one showed up last night so Guide, what I should do about it, he kept spelling NOTHING.

Seems like your 'guides' are giving you sound advice. What can you do?

Encounters like this always seem fabulous at first but six months down the line you may wonder if it was all worth it. You may be the respondent in a divorce case, may wreck a family, dash the lives of children...

Asearcher was right. He has his own will and responsibility.

Best to wait and see if he comes back and shows an interest. Above all, don't build up expectations. He is no longer the person you once knew and as it seems a physical attraction "he's cute" you said, your motives sound at least partly carnal.
.

[quote=Lorelyen]AStites post#3:
Funny what you wrote, because last night I asked Guides, only talkative one showed up last night so Guide, what I should do about it, he kept spelling NOTHING.

Seems like your 'guides' are giving you sound advice. What can you do?

Encounters like this always seem fabulous at first but six months down the line you may wonder if it was all worth it. You may be the respondent in a divorce case, may wreck a family, dash the nurturing of children...

Asearcher was right. He has his own will and responsibility.

Best to wait and see if he comes back and shows an interest. Above all, don't build up expectations. He is no longer the person you once knew and as it seems a physical attraction "he's cute" you said, your motives sound at least a little desirous.

I'm roughly your same age and "between" male friends but I wouldn't touch a married man with a bargepole even if over a couple of drinks he seemed like Mr Wonderful. There's too much emotion in a break up especially involving children, with which I wouldn't want to be afflicted!
.

Hi, back again. I have been wondering myself if to write these words or not. I get a bad feeling each time I get in this post, been here like 2-3 times now. I agree with the above posts.

I don't wish to remove your new found joy, but something in my head says, and this could just be my old rule that I live by, that look how he has treated his ex - or his current - that is the answer on how he will treat you (in the future). It is because it is not about the ex or the current wife - it is about him.

If he is not into you in an attractive manner he would already by now have introduced you to his wife. I gather he hasn't. I gather the tone between you two are flirtatious.

And I have to add this I think the best of both men and women. It isn't that.

And relationships marriages can be hard. So difficult sometimes.

I had this conversation once with an ex. He was not my ex then. I could not shake off the feeling of knowing how he had treated another woman in his past. He would never have thought she would get my sympathy but she did. I knew it was just random, it was just superficial reasons behind why she had taken the role she had - and I had taken mine. When he talked to me about her, or more when I found out about her - not that he was cheating it wasn't that - I could see how cold he was. I took no pleasure in that. Frankly it frighten me. Because I knew all that girl had done for a crime was to want more of a relationship than he had wanted and he had used her. And he had no quilt about that what so ever. And I felt for her. And so and so time forward - I learned that he too could treat me badly. He could show that cold side to me as well. It was only a matter of time. It was never about her. Never about me. It was who he was.

Just be careful. Try not to loose your head in all this. The bottom line is he is not single. But you are. IF he wants you - what does he need to be too? Single? Yes? No? These are some tough questions you need to ask yourself.

I know one can get giddies and hopeful and live on cloud seven at the start, and not take things so seriously, (and right now I know I'm a bore), but truly think what this is. Protect your heart. And if he is not there to protect his wife in all this, give her a thought or two because that woman might as well have been you if the tables had turned.

I got the feeling in your first post that you have been the one more active than he has, and watch out about that because that can make him fool himself or his wife or you that he is not equally responsible for what is happening.

I know it is modern times and that women are more get go or it is more allowed these days and not so "tradition", that is at least the image some of my girlfriends give me these days but I have also seen that some guys (sorry guys dont mean to give you a bad wrap about this) take it as if they are play toys. They flirt. The give - oh I would say ever so little. They say they like it when a woman takes charge, is active, shows what she wants, but in the end I have been asked how I managed to get the loves in my life to be the way they have been with me during that first, middle courtship. I have the opposite issue. I havent rushed. I'm not saying be like me, because my love life has sure enough not always been easy, regardless, but just be sure that you don't give more of yourself than you can afford to loose, if that make sense. You are not "tied up" like he is. He has accountability to his wife. You dont have accountability to her - but she is still a sister, no?

Then again this could be a situation where the wife is already having an affair of her own, how will I know - but if so - the two of them have a responsibility to each other more so, primary so, to sort that out in some way, stay together or split, than his responsibility is to you.

I hate to be a drag. I know I am with this post. I'm sorry about that. Just be careful I guess is what I want to say for your own sake and everyone's concern.

[AStites]

Maybe I should clarify a bit? This man and I reconnected while I was at work, he was a customer. He was there with friend and brother in law, introduced me to them, they made comments about how I must be the skier chick he was talking about that he hadn't seen in years, yada yada, nice to meet you. So no I had not been the main pursuer after, it was he that brought up our prior attraction, it was he that initiated the texting after he left, had me put his # in my phone. When we were interacting it was just the two of us being the two of us. The reality of everyone else came as conversation moved to who were now. We've exchanged a handful of text since then, I had found an old photo of a ski trip we went on, but I haven't seen him since that.

My life in the last year or so, maybe a little longer has gotten more and more clear that things happen for a reason, so initially my hope was of course that this guy that I hung out with for 4-5 years when I was basically a kid was 'the guy,' here he was come back into my life. The comfort was still there with him. Knowing he is unavailable in the way I had hoped just puts me in a different state that the road isn't so clear. I've only known him as a friend turned lover, he's only known me that way. We never parted on bad terms, we lost each other basically to college and the lack of technology at the time. So my quest (strong word, but only one that I can think of) is to figure out what, if not mate, he was sent to me again for. In the short term, he has helped me immensely, I am going over sees to work in a few months, and because of his job, he was able to assist me in finding the right channel to get documentation to my agency, which others doing the same have had trouble with and are now asking my assistance because of how fast I accomplished it.
Maybe that was it, maybe he will just be my ski buddy again, and has cute friends, or maybe he is just the catalyst to get me overseas. I realize fate is fickle. I won't get the answer in a nice little book with a 'once upon' and 'the end.'
Reality though is I know myself best. He wasn't just a friend then, and this didn't feel like just a friend stepping stone to something else. I don't have encounters with men like I did with him, that don't turn relationship. Looking at it a week later, that seems clearer. I have no intention of breaking up a marriage, I have no intention of being a mistress, so I'm going to do nothing. But, I've had that 'start' with 4 men before in my life. One conversation that turned into what ranged from 6 month to 12 year relationships. This was with someone I had known, knows me, and it feels like something I shouldn't dismiss just because he's married and I'm going to be literally unavailable out of the country for 2 months.
So I listen to my guides, I do NOTHING, that the intimacy we shared with memories of being lovers is an OK SIN. I do what I'm always so bad at remembering to do and just let things happen. Its so hard not to be Mickey Mouse and borrow the magician's hat and start waving the wand around, but I don't have that power, not holey, so what would it accomplish other than things happening out of order, hurting people, making it messy?
Reality and truth are different though, and I can't help but be scared that we're not young, that my last relationship took 6 years from first instinct to reality, and took 12 to fail after that, and I met my ex only a couple years after I lost this man. Wouldn't it be nice to enjoy each other when we were still on the back end of the hill...? Oh well.
Like I said, just trying to clarify, venting, talk it out. I am so tired of being without my person, it was nice to have those fleeting minutes of holy **** he's here, I knew who he was this whole time! I don't have to start from scratch! Maybe I still don't have to will just take a little longer, but the fantasy of waking up to him the next day was sure squashed fast.