my wife has found her twin flame

[intj123]

Yea.... this "emotional relationship" isn't all that it's cracked up to be to be honest. I wouldn't worry too much if I were you.

[Mused]

How do you really feel about all this? I think getting defensive is quite normal...after all your wife is having an emotional affair. Do you trust her?

Maybe this guy is giving her something shes not getting out of your rship.... Maybe its not even him, maybe its her. Dont want to bring bad juju but I get that you feel threatened, anyone would and in the long run it can be damaging to your self esteem

[Akira]

Hi Cafedoc123
Welcome to sf

Okay you are pretty amazing and spiritual yourself.

Now let me explain something to you. If this is your wife's TF it means nothing as you are happy together. It is divine law that TF's do not come in between partnerships that are already existent unless the partnership is in chaos and crumbling and the TF is there to rescue both parties.

As for sharing TF's can't do that, it's also against the coding as each TF is directed by a higher order. The order is love. Such a thing could erode love through complication.

You have children and therefore this is where your loyalty's lie and TF relationship will never come between that. TF's are not relationship busters!!

So all in all if your relationship is good then enjoy it. If the extra person is upsetting you or odd to you or you feel that they should not be there you need to voice that. This is more about whether this is good for the two of you or not. Ask yourself what you want and be honest. It's easy to throw a TF label at something without knowing whether or not it even is one (honestly they are very rare). I would say that family is the most important thing.

Good Luck and Take Care
Akira

[Khalli]

Originally Posted by cafedoc123

Wow. Thank you all for your replies.

I am surprised at how well I seem to be dealing with this. Maybe my wife has learned me a thing or two :)

I guess the hardest thing is looking at this as not a threat to my marriage. I find myself getting defensive when we talk about it, and my wife is very understanding of my feelings, as I try to understand hers, and what it means to her.

RedBasket--pretty insightful. She obviously has a "pain body" which is triggered by the "rejections." She recognizes this, and this whole episode has been an opportunity for her to dig deep and really intensely examine herself.

heart--I think she is doing a fair job (so far) of not confusing what she is feeling with love. If I understand it correctly, that's not exactly what the Twin Flame thing is necessarily about. Or is it? She states that she is committed to us, and I believe her. Feel free to PM me.

Again, so far this is a one-sided "affair." So, I feel threatened more by "what if" scenarios than actual events. I too would like this to resolve in some fashion, for us, and especially for her.

I can tell you from my recent experience with this, it is very hard on Her too.

I have been with my Wife 25 years, 22 of them married and I have never been attracted to anybody else, ever. Until a few weeks ago I met someone that awakened it and it was unlike anything I ever experience before. Very intense and has taken all my self control to keep it in check.

I told my Wife as We are openly honest with each other and all She did was laugh knowing how uncomfortable I am with intense emotions. Plus she knows I'll be true to myself and never do anything behind her back.

It is still very hard to deal with and now I think I understand some of these TF posts.

[cafedoc123]

Again, thanks everyone for your encouraging words.

Mused--I agree that this is at least an emotional affair. So, naturally I am concerned, hence my defensiveness. Do I trust her? Absolutely. Without question. Which I guess is why I'm doing relatively ok with this. If she was not the emotionally and spiritually mature woman that she is, I am sure that this would be unfolding in a much more tragic way.

Akira--thanks for your insight. I am trusting that if this is a Twin Flame thing, it will be an opportunity for growth and learning for everyone involved, and not some horrible soap opera.

Khallianen--yep, it's incredibly difficult for her too. She's been in tears over this at times.

[Sugar-n-Spice]

Originally Posted by cafedoc123

Mused--I agree that this is at least an emotional affair. So, naturally I am concerned, hence my defensiveness. Do I trust her? Absolutely. Without question. Which I guess is why I'm doing relatively ok with this. If she was not the emotionally and spiritually mature woman that she is, I am sure that this would be unfolding in a much more tragic way.

Again very powerful very impressive it might be difficult for you to understand how you are coming off spiritually but you are protecting your marriage very well.

It's one of those things about this twin flame pretence that gets me uptight! Someone gets acutely attracted to some aspect of someone else, constructs some weird case around signs, then emotionally stalks them, taking advantage of their vulnerabilities.

I tend to agree with Sarian. Twin flame is a false concept but under this banner people become utterly selfish. They swan around, latch onto someone, get melodramatic and obsess then crash in regardless of the damage they can do to people and relationships. They couldn't give a monkey's that kids who have had a stable home for a long while suddenly have their lives disrupted, they couldn't give a toss about disrupting your marriage. They have no self-discipline, no sense of social responsibility.

Ordinary selfishness isn't in it. Were I you, I'd send da boyz round to warn this bloke off. If it happened to me, some girl vampyrically trying to bite the emotional neck of my man he'd get a warning and the girl would find a deputation on her doorstep. One has to teach people there are limits to freedom.

I fully understand that I'll get taken to task for this post - it may even be deleted but I really can't stand people who, in following their hearts with neither self-discipline or consideration are happy to wreck the lives of others to slake their own lovelust.

By the way, you are every bit as spiritual as your wife. It isn't talking the talk, coming out with the jargon and esoteric-sounding long words, going to yoga or whatever. it's a thing of the heart and soul - about being. About being you. About being true to your principles and responsibilities. Don't hide your light under a bushel.

....

[Akira]

Hey Cafedoc123
I just want to say that I think that you are an amazing individual, all the luck with this. I am sure all will be well.

Take care
Akira

[taurusnsane]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

It's one of those things about this twin flame pretence that gets me uptight! Someone gets acutely attracted to some aspect of someone else, constructs some weird case around signs, then emotionally stalks them, taking advantage of their vulnerabilities.

I tend to agree with Sarian. Twin flame is a false concept but under this banner people become utterly selfish. They swan around, latch onto someone, get melodramatic and obsess then crash in regardless of the damage they can do to people and relationships. They couldn't give a monkey's that kids who have had a stable home for a long while suddenly have their lives disrupted, they couldn't give a toss about disrupting your marriage. They have no self-discipline, no sense of social responsibility.

....

what did i just read? i am sorry, but when twin enters your life, then you have no control over the situation. when you try to control, then the chasing, running comes. oh well, I guess a person who havent met their twin OR is completely rejected by their twin can only say this thing.

i am sorry, but this is not real what you are talking about. the emotions are 10000x deeper than usual, i wonder how come a "normal" person entering this can stay sane. its not our fault (human base) that we chose this but apparently we weirdos did that, so here we are.

Originally Posted by taurusnsane

what did i just read? i am sorry, but when twin enters your life, then you have no control over the situation. when you try to control, then the chasing, running comes. oh well, I guess a person who havent met their twin OR is completely rejected by their twin can only say this thing.
.

I can't believe what I've just read either. Are you seriously saying that you can't control yourself?

That's on a par with a sexual violator claiming he was unable to control himself. The fact that one is carnal and the other emotional doesn't matter. It's a principle.

Makes me glad we have laws against this sort of thing in the UK!

I say again to cafedoc123 - get this bloke sorted out. You have a lot to lose should trust get fractured. At least tell him that if he breaks anything up, the kids come with the deal.

...